Left alone in a girls flat on a lazy Sunday morning,with newspapers in hand decided to have a Chandler moment and have a bath.Filled the tub with every salt foam gel I could find and stepped in as the room filled with lovely girly smells.Now Im a shower guy in and out ,showers dont lead to lingering over your body shape,baths on the other hand are a harsh master[women have baths QED women are more conscious of their body shape,baths lead to selfloathing]Anyhow Im their with my kneees up to my chin getting cold,looking at myself for the first time in ages,Ive put on weight,not alot but enough for me to have to lean slightly forward to get a good look at me bollocks.Iam in a bath nowhere near a gym so I decide its me pubes that are obese, I have a Wil Ferrell,well a heavily grown thicket,so I reach for a bottle called "Veet".Cream it on wait 3mins grab her facecloth[god that was a barney] and OMG ..OMG.my hair fell away.No more Wil Ferrell hello chicken neck.But my balls are burning THEY ARE ON FIRE HELP