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Thread: top 4 adult jokes.... just for a laugh

  1. #1
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    Smile top 4 adult jokes.... just for a laugh

    Fourth Place :



    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,

    his elbow goes into her breast.

    They are both quite startled.

    The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as
    soft as your breast,

    I know you'll forgive me.'

    She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in
    room 221.'

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




    Third Place
    :

    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
    rubbing his wife's arm.

    The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a
    gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'

    The husband, rejected, turns over.

    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife
    again.

    'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




    Runner Up:

    Bill worked in a pickle factory.

    He had been employed there for a number of years when he came
    home one day

    to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.


    He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.


    His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
    about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He
    vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could
    see at once that something was seriously wrong.

    'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.

    'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
    urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'

    'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.

    'Yes, I did.' he replied.

    'My God, Bill, what happened?'

    'I got fired.'

    'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
    slicer?'

    'Oh...she got fired too.'

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Winner:

    A couple had been married for 50 years.

    They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the
    wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here
    at this breakfast table together.'

    'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting
    here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'

    'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old
    times.'

    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the
    table.

    'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied,
    'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years
    ago.'

    'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your
    coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Lynne For This Useful Post:

    Epsilon (13-04-10)

  3. #2
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    Default

    thanks lynne....always good to have a laugh

  4. #3

    Default

    Thank you Lynne

  5. #4
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    Default

    brilliant number 4 my fav
    its better to burn out than to fade away

  6. #5
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    Default

    Very good
    The Truth is out there.

  7. #6
    Join Date
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    Default

    Brilliant.

    I would order them: 2nd, 4th, 3rd, 1st but they're all great.

  8. #7

    Default

    lol i like 1 and 3

  9. #8
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    Default That reminds me........

    I like them all. No. 4 reminded me I had this stored away for a rainy day!
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  10. #9
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    Default

    well done lynne

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