Mia Doring on the “Episode” podcast with Richie Sadlier

[IrishSarahBarra]

One general comment I would make of specific application in this thread would ge the fact there seems to be little sympathy for someone who comes from a life of relative privilege and who has more opportunities. This to me equates to saying that if you have a bigger bank balance you should just suck it up. If you have to take some random examples a terminally ill close relative, a child with life long health issues , significant mental health issues in your family tree then the fact that you can pay your bills means that your pain is somehow less? All your money does is get better care. A not insignificant thing I fully admit but the hurt is not any different. If your father is molesting you it doesn’t really matter too much where it is happening to sone extent.

She is in the business of promoting herself and her book. Like all narratives when there is no one to contradict what she says everything must be viewed through that prism. She’s not a hill I would plant my flag and defend to the death but dismissing her out of hand because of her address and background is too pat.

I say that as someone who likes your generally even tone Sarah.

I understand what you're saying. The privileged background isn't quite what I was getting at, it's more about what it allowed her to do once she entered the industry and the kind of people she'll have had contact with. She wasn't getting the dregs, she was meeting normal people. Unlike the likes of Rachel Moran who was a drug addict and was actually abused by clients (and probably who because of her addictions and her receiving ongoing abuse, would not have been able to foster any good relationships with regulars.)

I know we all have problems relative to us no matter who we are or our background, just because someone's not Palestine doesn't mean that they're not hurting, trauma is relative.

Specifically, I don't buy Mia's story because of the privilege she would have had in the industry. It's as easy a run as it can be when you're someone like that. I don't buy that she was being abused by her clients just because they existed. This how they looked at her, talked about her, objectified her - is a dramatisation and projecting. She was young and traumatised. The demons didn't exist.

She told men she was up for fun, she told them they've have a good time, she rocked up to fancy houses, stayed for a half hour on the button, took €150 and went and bought a handbag. Then, complained that men had sex with her and didn't give her any hugs.

Did she put in her advert that she doesn't like sex and only wants hugs.

It's not for everyone. If you're traumatised, you're probably going to have a hard time in all sexual situations and romantic relationships until you are sorted.

That sounds cold but, you know, she's capitalising and has built a business on something that simply isn't true. And the non truth of her and pushing that narrative is something that impacts on sex workers.

She's the psychologist, I'm just a lowly escort so maybe I'm way off target but I would say to people that you can't be happy in this unless you can enjoy having sex with strangers as you would enjoy having dinner OR unless you find having sex with strangers as irrelevant as having dinner with someone.

Her clients, not rapists. Some, entitled pricks - probably, but not rapists. Her problem was, unfortunately, with herself.

I've had a young person in my life with a history of abuse query if they should enter the industry.

I told them that it will change them forever for better or worse, note their existing trauma, and that they could not possibly be happy with their decision unless they can happily treat it like going for dinner OR unless they can happily treat it as irrelevant like going for dinner. But whatever their decision, they need to own it because if they end up feeling like they're being being abused by people who aren't abusing them, they can't then blame people who aren't abusing them. Again, she's privileged and she would be privileged in the industry, and she wouldn't be putting up an advert looking for hugs.

Mia probably didn't have that talk with anyone but she is a grown woman now who's had time to mull it over.

[oddball]

My pointing to her "privilege" was more to point out she's now acting as if the main reason for her "falling into" escorting was money but it's clear she had no real need for that as her family/trust fund/whatever let her doss her way through multiple college courses instead of her looking for a more mundane career or looking at courses that might lead to such. Instead she clearly chose escorting for other reasons.
It's the faux victimhood I take issue with in that regard, and if she's being deceitful about that then what else is not on the up and up in her tale?

[AngelsFan]

I'm rather confused by the she was raped and traumatized so she got into the sex trade bit, if it was traumatic would you not be adverse to similar scenarios as "triggering"?

I'm not sure it works strictly like that. I think sometimes there can be an "I'm already broken anyway, so.." effect but I'm no expert

Anyhow, I shouldn't even read these, I promised myself to ignore all things political...give me peace 🙏🏼 I just saw her face, read her nonsense and sparked.

I'm sorry if I did that to you by posting it here. I agree with practically everything you've posted on it.



I listened to it.
I found it interesting, but very one sided. And very much how IrishSarahBarra describes her.

Privilege was a very evident backdrop to her story.
And she is very self congratulatory about getting the Nordic law passed and seems to take full sole credit for doing so. Neither of them ever questioned whether it left other women still in the sex industry in Ireland in a better or worse place.

Two psychotherapists talking to each other so it's that level of privilege and self indulgence of people who aren't too caught up in everyday life, of struggling to pay bills or trying to find time to meet family commitments while holding down a job. People who have the luxury of time, to dwell almost non stop on how they feel and why they're not quite happy enough.

She claims to completely forget how she came to set up an account on Escort-Ireland, and also no memory of her first client as an escort.
Some 30 year old abuser who groomed her, and paid her for sex is blamed for leading her mind in the direction of escorting.
Something about that part of the story seems a little convenient to me, but it may be completely true.

She really hates clients, every client, referring to them frequently as losers, damaged, psychopaths, dumping their trauma onto and into women. Losers, get a life, paying for consent to rape. Totally disconnected from themselves, from some very wounded part of themselves, and from her when they were with her. Traumatised narcissistic men.
That's the basic take on punters.

She detests reviews and reviewers. She uses reviews as ultimate proof that this is sex without humanity.
She shows the reviews, good and bad when she goes into schools to talk to the students.

She says she realises now she doesn't have to give talks about her experience anymore and that is a huge relief, and that she won't, which seems dissonant with the sense you get of how much she enjoys speaking of it and has made a business of a sort talking about it.

I think it is worth a listen, by clients at least. If only that it might make a few of us slightly better clients or better people in every day interactions.
Like Palatine getting huffy with the Tesco worker.

Lots of people don't like their jobs. And lots of jobs take a toll on people, physical and mental
We don't try to rescue farmers or brick layers or mechanics or warehouse pickers or ballet dancers.

But I think it's sometimes useful to take a step away from the echo chamber that is the forum and occasionally ponder



I would like to read the anonymous blog she wrote around 2012.
If anyone has a link or a way to read it I would appreciate a PM.

[Harry68]

I have to admit that while I've read her articles a few times I only listened to this podcast on the way home today. I would agree with AF's comments on it in the main. She's taken control of the narrative as she sees it and the interview is very much a soft soap. It would be difficult to find anyone to argue a counterview on even a niche podcast like this which is a shame as I think it would have made what was a fairly interesting if one sided conversation way more interesting.

The only thing I would disagree with is that Richie Sadlier very much earned whatever privilege he may have now. He had a lot of things to deal with at a young age and to have overcome them is a credit. I bought his "Lets Talk" book for my eldest when it came out. Its a fine book and if I was making a book about sex education, consent and teen relations compulsory this would be on the shortlist. Whether it really can achieve anything against the barrage of stuff through the phone from the likes of Andrew Tate and other knuckle draggers is another thing but having read it myself it would have been good to have been given it 35-40 years ago.

[AngelsFan]

I have to admit that while I've read her articles a few times I only listened to this podcast on the way home today. I would agree with AF's comments on it in the main. She's taken control of the narrative as she sees it and the interview is very much a soft soap. It would be difficult to find anyone to argue a counterview on even a niche podcast like this which is a shame as I think it would have made what was a fairly interesting if one sided conversation way more interesting.

The only thing I would disagree with is that Richie Sadlier very much earned whatever privilege he may have now. He had a lot of things to deal with at a young age and to have overcome them is a credit. I bought his "Lets Talk" book for my eldest when it came out. Its a fine book and if I was making a book about sex education, consent and teen relations compulsory this would be on the shortlist. Whether it really can achieve anything against the barrage of stuff through the phone from the likes of Andrew Tate and other knuckle draggers is another thing but having read it myself it would have been good to have been given it 35-40 years ago.

I do agree with you. I probably phrased my own opinions poorly especially around Richie Sadlier. His commentary around the whole Belfast rape trial was in my opinion right on the money and I'm sure the quality of the work he does speaking to young people in school about sex education and respect for each other is excellent. I haven't read his book yet but I heard he was very open about his time as a young footballer and his painful experiences and abuse in that industry.

[Cal1988]

She's a good writer but I, like a lot of people, find it hard to believe so much about her story. I'd never question the trauma part - I certainly believe that happened - but the descriptions in her prose, and the picture she's trying to paint, don't really add up. There's so much you could scrutinise about what she writes.