Originally Posted by
Grunt
For guys who have read this far and still need tips. Here's a step-by-step. (And ladies, I have a bone to pick with you too)
1. Turn the shower head to its most powerful setting.
2. Pop a squat in the shower. This will give you the most surface area to clean.
3. Rinse that arse, thoroughly. Don't be afraid of the sensation of the powerful jet of water going up your hole. It doesn't make you any less of a man.
4. Lather up and clean that arse, thoroughly. Scrub, scrub, scrub.
5. It's Ireland, most of us have a foreskin, be proud of it. You weren't mutilated at birth. But it does need cleaning. Pull it back and wash away all the debris/gunk. Use sensitive soaps/gels.
6. Wash your balls too and the undercarriage.
7. The rest of the cleaning should be straightforward. Armpits, your neck, behind the ears, in the ears, feet, everything else.
8. Take your time. The lady isn't going to leave.
And ladies, how about you invest in some decent toiletries? Instead of being cheap and getting whatever Lynx shower gel is on clubcard offer in Tesco, go to Lush (A store in Cork and 2 in Dublin or you can buy online but going in the store is more fun) and buy a bottle of whatever shower gel smells the most appealing to you (Sticky Dates is lovely). The bottles are small, medium and large and range from €9 to €30. It will last a long time.
I always bring my own small bottle of Sticky Dates because I'm tired of seeing cheap Lynx and cheap Nivea on the shower stall.