You can create all the hypothetical situations you want, especially ones that would never happen, not least because of the grammatical shit show. Would a mother say "I had a she" (because that is the grammatical equivalent)? None of this changes the fact that you have some kind of fear that is manifesting itself in a conservatism, a "this is different from what I believe", when it really doesn't effect you in any way.
What are you scared of?