The problems with mental health

[ladiesman217]

The best analogy or metaphor I can use to describe the actual reality of it all... whether illness, disorder or otherwise, is like this:

- Take a vase, a mug, or any sort of similar item. Smash it to smithereens. Hundreds or thousands of bits. Gather them all up, and glue them together. "Amazing". "Just like new".

No. No amount of repair work can ever bring the mind back to its original state. No amount of therapy, no amount of drugs. Even the mug... no matter the amount of hours you spend making it look 'like new', it will never be exactly as it was. There will always be something out of place, even if it's invisible to the naked eye.

Most people are truly ignorant as to how complex our minds truly are. Our minds never forget. It can take events that happened so long ago, and cling on to them so tight that your conscious is oblivious to its existence. They not be stored as memories we can directly access when we want to, but they can be stored deep in our subconscious. And therein it can do the most damage.

The conscious vs the subconscious. The eternal battle.

"Are you okay?". You know, I really hate that question. They say there's no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid people. While I would mostly agree with that, that one particular question has got to be the most stupid question in human history. If you feel the need to ask someone if they are okay, then clearly some part of you knows that they are in fact not okay.

- Your parent/spouse/child/etc just died: "Are you okay?"
- You've just been assaulted: "Are you okay?"
- The building you were in has collapsed due to being bombed or felled due to an earthquake: "Are you okay?"

What, what are you expecting them to say? "Oh yeah, I'm fucking peachy!".

While not being mental illnesses or disorders, they are still events that can be considered traumatic to the affected person(s)'s minds, whether the nature of these events are physical or otherwise.

Once broken, the mind can never be brought back to 100%. Remember that. Tread carefully. No one knows the lengths that our words or actions can affect another.

If a train derails; you simply put it back on the tracks, and it continues its journey along the rail.

But if a raft capsizes in the middle of an ocean; it's virtually impossible to determine what is the correct heading - because every direction looks the same. And even if you're off by only a fraction of a degree, that difference gets bigger and bigger the further you travel. And there's no turning back either. Because even in reverse, the horizon still looks the same.

[ladiesman217]

Is it better to have a broken mind and know that your mind is broken.

Or to have a broken mind, and be blissfully unaware that anything is wrong.

Which is the lesser of 2 evils.

[Benny123]

The best analogy or metaphor I can use to describe the actual reality of it all... whether illness, disorder or otherwise, is like this:

- Take a vase, a mug, or any sort of similar item. Smash it to smithereens. Hundreds or thousands of bits. Gather them all up, and glue them together. "Amazing". "Just like new".

No. No amount of repair work can ever bring the mind back to its original state. No amount of therapy, no amount of drugs. Even the mug... no matter the amount of hours you spend making it look 'like new', it will never be exactly as it was. There will always be something out of place, even if it's invisible to the naked eye.

Most people are truly ignorant as to how complex our minds truly are. Our minds never forget. It can take events that happened so long ago, and cling on to them so tight that your conscious is oblivious to its existence. They not be stored as memories we can directly access when we want to, but they can be stored deep in our subconscious. And therein it can do the most damage.

The conscious vs the subconscious. The eternal battle.

"Are you okay?". You know, I really hate that question. They say there's no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid people. While I would mostly agree with that, that one particular question has got to be the most stupid question in human history. If you feel the need to ask someone if they are okay, then clearly some part of you knows that they are in fact not okay.

- Your parent/spouse/child/etc just died: "Are you okay?"
- You've just been assaulted: "Are you okay?"
- The building you were in has collapsed due to being bombed or felled due to an earthquake: "Are you okay?"

What, what are you expecting them to say? "Oh yeah, I'm fucking peachy!".

While not being mental illnesses or disorders, they are still events that can be considered traumatic to the affected person(s)'s minds, whether the nature of these events are physical or otherwise.

Once broken, the mind can never be brought back to 100%. Remember that. Tread carefully. No one knows the lengths that our words or actions can affect another.

If a train derails; you simply put it back on the tracks, and it continues its journey along the rail.

But if a raft capsizes in the middle of an ocean; it's virtually impossible to determine what is the correct heading - because every direction looks the same. And even if you're off by only a fraction of a degree, that difference gets bigger and bigger the further you travel. And there's no turning back either. Because even in reverse, the horizon still looks the same.

That's probably the best post you have ever written. Really excellent

[AngelsFan]

"Are you ok ? " is sometimes just shorthand for "I'm concerned about you, I care about you, and if you need to talk I'm here for you and I want to listen to you."
Perhaps it could sometimes be phrased better.

[ladiesman217]

That's probably the best post you have ever written. Really excellent

Thank you. But no. I have been informed on numerous occasions by those that have been here a long time, that this is in fact the best thing I have ever written:

https://www.escort-ireland.com/board...ras-Luimni-etc

Just for reference sake - don't be going posting on a 9 year old thread

Wait... why did I post this in the lounge? Only just realising that now.....

*scratches head*

Hmm. Perhaps I need to scale down on the old catnip.

[ladiesman217]

"Are you ok ? " is sometimes just shorthand for "I'm concerned about you, I care about you, and if you need to talk I'm here for you and I want to listen to you."
Perhaps it could sometimes be phrased better.

Understatement of the millennium.

Don't ask someone 'if they're okay', when it's quite obvious they're not. That can often act as a sort of trigger, even though nothing was meant by it. People in that kind of state, are more fragile than you can even imagine. Instead, you should be direct with your compassion.

"Hey. I know you're all messed up at the moment. But I'm here, okay? If you need to cry, I'll hold you. If you need to talk, I'll listen. If you need to hit out, have at me. If you need to be left alone, I'll leave. Okay? Just know, I'm always here for you, whatever you need".

Now. To me, that sounds like a damn better option that asking someone if they're simply 'okay'?

[Silvergrey25]

That's probably the best post you have ever written. Really excellent

------------------------------------------------
Absolutely, very succinct. He's spot on

[DamoEI]

My brother went thru some really bad times, I probably asked him "are you ok?" every other day.
I hope it didn't annoy him too much, cos no one else was asking him that.
No one else asked him anything at all.

[Launcelot]

Is it better to have a broken mind and know that your mind is broken.

Or to have a broken mind, and be blissfully unaware that anything is wrong.

Which is the lesser of 2 evils.

The mind deceives itself to protect itself. How many are truly that self aware?

[AliceEvans]

Very intelligent post.
I believe that everyone suffers with mental health in some way, in some area of ​​life at least, but many people refuse to seek help or admit it.
Admitting that you are not well is already a big step and you need to have the courage to recognize that something is consuming you in a way that has caused you harm.
I partially agree when I said that nothing will ever be the same again, but I don't see it as a bad thing, this can be wonderful, it can only be bad if you don't look for a better version of yourself, nothing stays the same in this life, we just have to look around and notice that everything around changes, the sea tide for example has high and low days, the 4 seasons, it's like that with nature and it will be like that with us.
If you think you are going to have treatment and this treatment is limited to going to a psychologist, having a diagnosis, having therapeutic guidance and eventually using medication and stopping symptoms? No, unfortunately that's not what therapy is.
Did it catch fire? This will put out the fire, but rebuilding the wiring will depend on you.

So the person can say like this:

"There is! But I just want to go back to how I was before “…

But that's not the intention of therapy, therapy won't make you go back to the way you were before. THERAPY WILL HELP YOU build a new person who will not accumulate so much mental trash that triggered this illness.

It's totally different, and this is an active process, therapy can help you, but you will have to allow yourself to do so.

Remember, the goal is not to return to the past, but rather to blossom into a new version of yourself. More resilient, fully aware.