Why I Would Make a GREAT Nurse!!!!!! ;)

[JennyIrish]

Before I arrived in Cork one of my favourite regulars here mentioned to me (well, truth be told I dragged it out of him over texts ) that he has a Weakness for a nurses uniform.
And of course I am a lady who strives to provide excellent customer satisfaction so I’ve escaped to an adult store to pick up said uniform.

And I thought to myself, “I probably Could have made a great nurse!!!!

Apart from the fact that I am caring, compassionate, and COMPLETELY AMAZING (hey, if You don’t big yourself up in this life, who else is going to do it for you?! )

I reckon that I would make a great nurse for the following reasons:
1. I am perfectly comfortable with nakedness - both my own and others!! - no mater what the body shape, size hairiness etc etc, It’s all completely normal to me!

2. There is no body part that scares me. And nope, not even the monster ones Which make you wonder how do they walk around all day without it strapped to their leg for comfort!!

3. I am genuinely a Walking defibrillator!!! I can do things to a man that will almost stop his heart, but EQUALLY I possess The skills to quickly restart it again ha ha ha!!!

4. I know the PROPER way to tie you to the bed in one minute flat!!!!!

5. Ok, while I will NOT Ever perform an enema and another human being apart from myself, I can certainly instruct you as to the best way to go about this: see Douching thread in client request section!!!
And last but not least:

5. If you hit the right button I will cummm in two minutes flat!!!!



Disclaimer number 1: I would, in fact make a CRAP nurse due to the fact that I have an intolerance for certain human oudours and particularly human poo!!!!


Disclaimer number 2: The truth is that From reading in the paper is the challenges nurses face daily here in this country, especially since Covid, understaffing, insane, working hours, emotional exhaustion, coupled With the fact that I am getting contrary in my old age, I would more than likely end up in either the Joy or John O Gods, I just would not be able for what does wonderful men and women do.

Disclaimer number 3: I Pinky promise that this is not a touting thread, I prefer to call it marketing, baby

Signing off,

Nurse Jenny xxxx

[Clubcard]

How's your tea and toast game though??

[JennyIrish]

How's your tea and toast game though??

If You remember, a bottle of chilled water is my equivalent of tea and toast.

I like to provide the best service I can, but if you think I’m dragging a toaster around in a suitcase with me on tour . . .

The Toaster is staying in the press!!!!!! (Joooooke!! I’m not from Norn Iorn)

[TommyH123]

you'd make a great "head" nurse

you can always tell who the head nurse is.....dirty knees

[oldfool]

so you say
The Toaster is staying in the press!!!!!! (Joooooke!! I’m not from Norn Iorn)

I would advise against changing job to a stand up comic, but if you wanted to practise your nursing bedside techniques, i suspect there would be a queue of volunteers to play patient.

Thanks for all you give to the forum, it is much appreciated.

[mymann]

Before I arrived in Cork one of my favourite regulars here mentioned to me (well, truth be told I dragged it out of him over texts ) that he has a Weakness for a nurses uniform.
And of course I am a lady who strives to provide excellent customer satisfaction so I’ve escaped to an adult store to pick up said uniform.

And I thought to myself, “I probably Could have made a great nurse!!!!

Apart from the fact that I am caring, compassionate, and COMPLETELY AMAZING (hey, if You don’t big yourself up in this life, who else is going to do it for you?! )

I reckon that I would make a great nurse for the following reasons:
1. I am perfectly comfortable with nakedness - both my own and others!! - no mater what the body shape, size hairiness etc etc, It’s all completely normal to me!

2. There is no body part that scares me. And nope, not even the monster ones Which make you wonder how do they walk around all day without it strapped to their leg for comfort!!

3. I am genuinely a Walking defibrillator!!! I can do things to a man that will almost stop his heart, but EQUALLY I possess The skills to quickly restart it again ha ha ha!!!

4. I know the PROPER way to tie you to the bed in one minute flat!!!!!

5. Ok, while I will NOT Ever perform an enema and another human being apart from myself, I can certainly instruct you as to the best way to go about this: see Douching thread in client request section!!!
And last but not least:

5. If you hit the right button I will cummm in two minutes flat!!!!



Disclaimer number 1: I would, in fact make a CRAP nurse due to the fact that I have an intolerance for certain human oudours and particularly human poo!!!!


Disclaimer number 2: The truth is that From reading in the paper is the challenges nurses face daily here in this country, especially since Covid, understaffing, insane, working hours, emotional exhaustion, coupled With the fact that I am getting contrary in my old age, I would more than likely end up in either the Joy or John O Gods, I just would not be able for what does wonderful men and women do.

Disclaimer number 3: I Pinky promise that this is not a touting thread, I prefer to call it marketing, baby

Signing off,

Nurse Jenny xxxx

Jenny, I need some one to look after me,

soon with tender loving care,

[Silvergrey25]

Poor Auld Beemer missing the boat I hope he's not sittin in a toilet somewhere all confused.

[Jesustoledo]

I hope it too

[bmw528]

Obviously not as confused as you are ye silly aul bollix.🙂

[oldguy]

Remember,
don't mess with old guys. The older we get, the less life imprisonment is a deterrent.