No point complicating it, that’s the bottom line, I like both but I also like the energy you get with a pretty girl, they’re fun and god knows I could do with some of that on a regular basis 👍Originally Posted by FullIrish
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No point complicating it, that’s the bottom line, I like both but I also like the energy you get with a pretty girl, they’re fun and god knows I could do with some of that on a regular basis 👍
FullIrish (27-09-23)
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Yeah, they could list it right after covered oral 😉
BIGUY99 (27-09-23)
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But would they button in the way or button out the way??
Anyway you want. And with their mouth.But would they button in the way or button out the way??
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Now to deal with the “with a clear mind” bit, being honest I’d huge problems with this at the beginning, so much so that I cursed the day I gave into curiosity, in fairness was probably something a lot deeper than curiosity but that’s where I left it, I’m not very introspective at the best of times, I’m that shallow you could wade in me.
The guilt was an issue though , I knew I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing but the buzz from it was unreal, I mean who’d be able to resist, all the fun with no strings to choke you.
I tried though, put obstacles in my own path, pushed self destruction buttons, you name it I tried it until I realised it’s just fun, no one needs to get hurt if I’m careful about it, she has her “me” time, admittedly hers might not involve horizontal exercise, maybe it does…who knows?
Anyway, that’s a short answer, it’s a bit of craic with no ties, a fantasy few hours once a month, nothing more, what happens in the Clayton stays in the Clayton 🤣
AbsoluteNoob (26-09-23), FullIrish (27-09-23)
Don’t think I’ve had a clear mind since I discovered who Pamela Anderson was….
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🤣🤣, I think he meant a clear conscience, I’m with you on the clear mind, it’s been women/football/women since an an early age with me
bmw528 (26-09-23)
Am i the only 34 year old single man here?
🧔
FullIrish (27-09-23)
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Back to the topic at hand... Those that are championing honest and open communication are correct in how well that will pacify one's conscience. However it is a bit simplistic to to say that all relationships fall into "my SO helps me choose escorts" or "the indentured servitude of monogamy" (life is rarely black and white, it's typically varying shades of grey). I would imagine most relationships do still fall in to the latter, but even relationships that are more open aren't necessarily going to be "open". Just because someone is secure enough in the status of the relationship to "allow" their partner to experience other indulgences doesn't mean they want to know the specifics. Just because you had the conversation at the onset of the relationship (which is great) doesn't mean it's settled forever. Relationships grow and change, what was acceptable at the start (when things aren't so serious) may not be acceptable/comfortable a year later or 5 years later or 10...
There is also a physical risk involved here and this is what internally forced me to have the conversation. If you are having sex outside of your relationship (even being safe) you are exposing yourself, and by extension your SO, to increased risk of STDs, seeing sex workers - more risk, she's really popular - more risk (law of averages), bi Male - more risk (global health statistics). So even if you get beyond the social taboos and personal insecurities there is still the very real chance that the missus is not willing to sacrifice her personal health so that husband can go get some strange. This is why the conversation needs to be had, to know the boundaries and to be able to respect the comfort levels.
If it turns out you feel strongly one way and the SO is in direct opposition, then maybe you are at an impasse and the LTR has run it's course. The hiding and the guilt and the shame and the depression and the self loathing and the resentment are only going to lead to the demise of the LTR anyway, might as well get ahead of it. BTW the "stay together for the kids / financials" is dangerous misconception. The emotional cost benefit of not being in a shity relationship typically out performs the financial and if it's that bad the kids already know. Kids spending time independently with 2 happy, separated parents is much healthier than the kids being forced to acclimate to a dysfunction household.
“I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” - Voltaire
AbsoluteNoob (27-09-23), FullIrish (27-09-23), IrishSarahBarra (07-02-24)
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Some top tier replies, thanks folks.
The internal guilt part is a major sticking point for me. I mean, Im pretty sensitive guy, shit like accidentally stepping on a snail makes me feel awful for hours afterwards!
Its like, will the fantasy turn into a nightmare if I become ridden with guilt? Or should it stay a fantasy?
A few years ago I would have quoted a famous R Kelly song but thats not cool anymore!
Anyway, off to add more ladies to my favs list.
IAmLIAm (30-09-23)
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