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Thread: Decembers Anything Xmasy comp

  1. #1
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    Santa Decembers Anything Xmasy comp

    You know im a very humble person.I always think of others first.

    Decembers comp is going to be decided by the ppl.Yep enter the comp.Thats all you have to do.Simply enter anything with two rules.

    (1) it has to have an xmas theame

    and

    (2) falls under the rules of the site

    how will i judge it?I havnt a clue.You can enter an xmas utube, a poem ,a song, pics, a review a t-shirt ,anything at all. 500 shiney ones for the winner and two runners up at 250 shiney ones each.


    Enjoy,
    Westside.
    Last edited by Westsidex; 01-12-09 at 15:06.

  2. #2
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    Santa

    A Christmas Poem

    'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat

    The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

    The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook

    It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

    Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

    When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

    Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

    The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

    With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

    Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

    And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

    Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

    Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

    They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

    And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder.

    I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

    His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

    That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile.

    He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

    I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

    Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

    The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

    A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

    A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

    A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

    This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

    He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

    He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

    In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

    The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

  3. #3
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    Default yes u did read this on another thread - just blame westie (and ban diamondgypsy)

    twas the night before christmas in bethlehem (or was it nazareth ?) and young mary was being led by her 'husband' joseph thru the streets on a donkey as they couldnt afford a cab. Just as they were about to knock on the door of an inn they got knocked down and killed by a JCB on its way to knock down a palestinian housing complex.

    the moral of this tale- christianity/goodness is not dependent on whether jesus lived or died but on whether people treat each other nicely or not..............





    .............except Diamond Gypsy who is a complete #@#!

  4. #4
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    Default







    The Truth is out there.

  5. #5
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    Default A christmas card for punters!

    My fellow punters, my entry for the competition is to give yous all a christmas card- A punters christmas card! which you can print off and send to your ex wife, ex girlfriend, mother in law, ex mother in law, parish priest, bishop, french cheat or whoever else you want to piss off!
    Or even give it to the next escort you visit!
    I made it myself- for you- my fellow punters!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Happy Escort Christmas.jpg 
Views:	121 
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ID:	14796  
    A man s mission in life is to spread his seed with as many women as possible, for as long as possible, in any position possible . . . .

  6. #6
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    Default No limit to entries

    a person is allowed multiple entries.

    did i just say multiple entries?
    Westside.

  7. #7
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    Default Prize money for this comp

    500 shiney ones for the winner and two runners up at 250 shiney ones each.


    lovingly,
    West.

  8. #8
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    Default

    Aw Come On Westie, Hows about a competition to see who can boil an egg ?

  9. #9
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Westsidex View Post
    You know im a very humble person.I always think of others first.

    Decembers comp is going to be decided by the ppl.Yep enter the comp.Thats all you have to do.Simply enter anything with two rules.

    (1) it has to have an xmas theame

    and

    (2) falls under the rules of the site

    how will i judge it?I havnt a clue.You can enter an xmas utube, a poem ,a song, pics, a review a t-shirt ,anything at all. 500 shiney ones for the winner and two runners up at 250 shiney ones each.


    Enjoy,
    Westside.
    Oh Goody, I can do another T-shirt then.
    Once a prick - always a prick.

  10. #10
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    Default another x-mas poem 2nd entry

    On a Christmas Eve at midnight
    When I got into bed
    I lay upon my pillow
    And there beside my head
    Was Santa with his trousers off
    And this is what he said
    Happy Christmas little girl
    Iíve unwrapped this gift for you
    So take this gift with pleasure
    To make your wish come true
    Because Santa comes but once a year
    And tonight he comes in you

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