Excellent post! I agree with your definitions although as your alternatives show "sexual orientation" is not as straightforward as the others. I think there will be so many different orientations that a single definition is hard unless it very general, such as "the sexual type or types of individual that a person is attracted to".
There are people who are attracted to more than one sex / gender etc. There are people attracted to woman and trans women, but only very feminine ones etc. I think there will be very many shades in between. I don't think you could create a list of "sexual orientations" where each person fits into just one category.
The last few problematic issues that you raise, I believe, are cases where a minority of people with extreme views are getting far too much traction due to their aggressive tactics, as LDM was saying (I think).