a man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a xmas fancy dress party. he doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg. so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. a few days later he recevies a parcel with a note:dear sir.please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.the spotted handkershief will cover your bauld head with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate. the man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disabillity.so he writes a letter of complaint.a week passes and he receives another parcel and note:dear sir.sorry about the previous parcel.find enclosed a monks's habit.the long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bauld head you will really look the part. the man is really incandescent with rage now.becuase the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bauld head.so he writes a really strong letter of complaint with the accompanying letter.dear sir.please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup.we suggest you pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald.head stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple