Octobers Comp

[WD-40]

well, find a nice topic for a thread and bring it on
myself, i'm happy to spice it up behind close doors

ok,how about.germans that feel the need to get outta bed a ridiclous o clock to pUt towels on the sunbeds when they are on hols.you know its true karin.

[Karin Kiss]

ok,how about.germans that feel the need to get outta bed a ridiclous o clock to pUt towels on the sunbeds when they are on hols.you know its true karin.

That's true
And annoying as hell

Last time I was in Gran Canaria other people were also angry about this bad habit of them ... so I pretended I was some other nation, Latvian I think

I never wake up early in my holiday ... by 2 p.m. all sunbeds are of course gone.

[WD-40]

that's true :d
and annoying as hell

Last time i was in gran canaria other people were also angry about this bad habit of them ... So i pretended i was some other nation, latvian i think

i never wake up early in my holiday ... By 2 p.m. All sunbeds are of course gone.

sorry karin but can you just tell me how to open a tin of catfood again please

[Karin Kiss]

sorry karin but can you just tell me how to open a tin of catfood again please

Feeling peckish ???

[Karin Kiss]

I had the pleasure of having Forest as partner for this month competition.
It has been a real pleasure

When I have tried to post this interview I have found out there is a limit of 10,000 characters allowed in one post, so I will publish this in 2 parts - they all should count as ONE ENTRY.


Interviewee: Forrest
Interviewer: Karin

Q 01. When did you hear for the first time about escort websites such as Escort Ireland?

A friend mentioned the Irish Independent Escorts site back in 2005. Their messageboard was much livelier back then (could be a good feature for the History channel) and there were occasional references to the Escort Ireland website being the poor relation – how times change??

Q 02. Did you ever visit an escort before discovering escorts on Internet?
If you did, when was that and how did you do all the arrangements?

I had never considered visiting an escort – I always thought that escorts were for high-rollers and mere mortals went to the Pepper Cannister Church or Arbour Hill(I didn’t visit those either). I do recall driving around those areas on a couple of occasions with some friends and ‘mooning’ out the window at the streetwalkers. Seemed funny at the time.

Q 03. You are a member of E – I since November 2007, however, your first posting is dated almost 5 months later. Have you been a “lurking” member of the site all this time or not?

As you can see from my current ’mood’ status I like to lurk (and look). I joined EI back in Nov 2007 purely to post a couple of reviews. I had been a member of IIE since 2006 but was just an occasional poster there too.

Q 04. What was your motivation to become a more active site member in March 2008?

I’m not really sure why I became more active in March 2008 – I don’t think I really became active until this year when Westcorklad, WD-40, He Who Dares Wins and a few others started posting. For the most part their posts are humorous and inoffensive and it’s just a bit of banter. I don’t usually get involved in the more serious debates because the posters can be a bit too dogmatic.

Q 05. How easy / difficult is for you to choose which ladies are you going to visit?

As there are a lot of beautiful, sexy ladies on E-I, it’s not easy to decide on pure looks so, after a slow awkward start calling ladies solely on their pics, now I mostly make contact via pm or email and usually meet ladies that respond in a friendly way. It hasn’t failed me so far!!!

Q 06. I am aware some people do not write reviews for all the ladies they see, especially if they think the experience they had it was as expected.
Did you ever see a lady and not write about it?

I have met a lot of really nice ladies in the last 4 years but don’t always leave reviews. Sometimes, I have reviewed ladies just because they did not have many reviews. Other times it was because the encounter was really exceptional and I wanted to let everyone know what a great time I had. I have had many pleasurable appointments where the lady in question already had a lot of good reviews and I felt there wasn’t anything I could add that hadn’t already been said.

Q 07. What do you think about the recent changes in the review rules?
( the appointment of a review arbitrator, the 3 review rule, the 1 review rule etc …)

There is merit in the argument for restricting multiple reviews from one reviewer for the same lady and I’m sure it’s difficult for NBT to sort the wheat from the chaff. Reviews may mean a lot more to the ladies who are going to be staying in Ireland for a while but smart punters can usually read between the lines and spot the dodgy/bogus reviews anyway.

Q 08. There have been discussions on the board where community members were trying to find out through a more scientific approach the percent of fake reviews and how “credible” escort could be based on their reviews. Do you agree that one day we may have a more scientific approach that may actually work in this regard?

I think some of the ideas are over-elaborate and don’t give the average member much credit for common sense. It’s not necessarily the number of reviews that confirms credibility – the actual content of a review can tell a lot too. It’s not rocket science!!!

Q 09. What are your reasons to visit escorts? (feel free to disclose only something you’re comfortable with)

The main reason is due to the lack of a sex life at home. My partner lost her sex drive completely about 7 years ago. Initially, I thought I would be able to cope without sex, but after 3 years it was a choice between having an affair and visiting escorts. After a while, the challenge became trying to have sex with ladies from as many countries as possible. I am in semi - retirement now, happy and content with the number of countries conquered.

Q 10. In good old days, religion was very strong and influential in Ireland.
In your opinion, are there many people left that would regard escorts and their activity as something terribly bad and sinful?

There will always be people that consider escorts and their activities to be bad and sinful but, fuck them, they are a bunch of saddoes. Sex should be fun and pleasurable and some of my encounters with ladies from E-I epitomise that.

Q 11. Looking at your posts and your profile, I can see you are familiar with the escorting business in Germany as well. In your opinion, is there anything that escorts operating in Germany are doing better than their Irish operating colleagues?

I am not as familiar as it might seem. I have always believed in researching countries before visiting them, but not just for escort services. When I visited Munich last year I visited a couple of sex clubs but they were a complete rip-off. I saw a thread on E-I about Artemis in Berlin and, as I am planning a visit to Berlin in December, I have checked out the website, its location etc. I will give you a report on that when I get back.

Q 12. Besides Ireland and Germany, are there any other countries where you have used escort services? If so, what do you think they do better / worse than escorts in Ireland?

My first ever visit to an escort took place in Manchester and, while it was alright, it seemed a bit like ‘sex by numbers’. Subsequent encounters have been better but there is not a lot of difference between the best escorts in Ireland and England, but there seems to be more variety here with all the different nationalities available.

[Karin Kiss]

....


Q 13. Escort prices are always a touchy subject between escorts and clients and it is quite understandable why. What do you think is a fair price for half an hour / one hour of good quality service?

How long is a piece of string? When you put it in the context of the current economic situation you would have to say that €150 per hour is a good rate for an escort: e.g. if they work 4 hours in one day, they have earned more than the average annual national wage. But maybe they will only get one booking per day with the recession no matter what price they charge, because even horny bastards run out of money.

Q 14. Who do you consider to be the best escort ever and why?

I really couldn’t pick one escort, as I have met some really fantastic ladies in the 4 years I have been punting. I would say though that the best sexual encounters I have had with an escort have been with Brazilian ladies. They seem to have a natural sexual appetite that never seems to be quenched.

Q 15. If you can pay anybody in the world for sexual favours, who would it be and why?

Salma Hayek…..because she exudes sexuality.

Q 16. Agency escorts, any particular thoughts or experience?

I have only used an agency on a couple of occasions but didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t meet the lady I thought I was going to meet but, thankfully, the one that was there was very pretty. I’m no oil painting myself, so I probably wouldn’t have complained anyway.

Q 17. What do you think about the moderation on E – I site? Would you ever consider of becoming yourself a moderator someday?

The current crew seem to be doing a good job. It’s cyber space so it’s hard to get it right all the time.
No, I wouldn’t consider becoming a moderator as I don’t have the time. I only go on to the board for short spells to see what’s going on and may stay on for a while if I’m bored(usually when there’s no footie on the telly)

Q 18. There seems to be sometimes much animosity on the boards due to some controversial subjects. People are sometimes using their hidden identity to say bad and hurtful things to one another unfairly. In your opinion, do you think this happens more and more lately or was it worst before?

I think it was a lot worse before. I know IIE got quite vicious for a while last year. It seems to come in bursts but it’s cyber space, so what they say is directed to an unknown user that they will never meet.

Q 19. Any words of advice for the new punters out there?

Save your money for a sex change. Then you can have all the sex you want, for a once-off payment.

Q 20. In what situation (if any) you would give up visiting escorts?

When they nail the lid and lower the coffin down, and even then I might like some company. Any ladies fancy some necrophilia?

Q 21. Do you ever speak about Escort Ireland and escorts in general with someone who is not a site member?

I have only spoken about it to the friend that originally mentioned it to me a few years ago. It’s not something I would consider discussing with all and sundry. It’s my little secret and, boy, am I enjoying it.

Q 22. Do you have any suggestion for improvement of E – I website in general?

I haven’t really thought about it to be honest. As the guy on the ad on the telly says ‘it does exactly what it says on the tin’. Thanks Patricia and all the staff for your wonderful creation.

[Forrest]

As Karin mentioned we agreed to be partners for Westies super competition for October.
We decided to do two interviews 1) Karin asks me some awkward questions ; 2) I ask Karin some very easy questions. This one will have to be posted in 2 parts also because it was a comprehensive interview with no stone left unturned.

Part 1

Forrest: You were born in Germany. Are you a city girl or a country girl?

Karin: City girl by birth, country girl at heart J

Forrest: What is your favourite childhood memory?

Karin: It all happened in a beautiful Transylvanian village.
I was there in a school holiday with my mother, after my parents separated.
I thought that village was nothing short of paradise. Fruit orchards, corn fields, vine grapes … hay barns, friendly cats and dogs, old books in the attic. That must have been without any doubt the happiest time of my life. Lying in the barn on a huge pile of hay, reading some very old books and newspapers. Baskets full with red apples and grapes. Kittens trying to distract me from my books with some very funny acrobatics. Old faithful dog waiting patiently for me until I get in the mood to explore the hills surrounding the village.

Forrest: When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Karin: My first “calling” was to be a teacher. When I grew up I realised I said that probably to please the teacher who asked me this question. My second wish was to become … please don’t laugh … a judge in dogs’ competitions, one of those people who have to decide which dogs get awarded. Needless to say, this wish never came to life L

Forrest: I notice you can speak several languages – French, Italian, and English along with your native tongue. Are you fluent in them all and did you find it easy or difficult to learn?

I actually speak fluently English, Romanian and German. My French and Italian need some serious improvement, although they are good enough for a simple conversation. I am a quick learner myself, or at least that’s what I like to think.

Forrest: German people have a reputation for their lack of a sense of humour. Is this true, or just a myth?

Karin: Well, in my opinion ALL Germans are serious. Boring even.
Like ALL Irish people have red hair, drink a lot and talk to leprechauns.

Got it ??? Germans are as serious as everybody else; you cannot believe everything, so I’m afraid this is just a myth. BTW, did you know that the German for a bra is ‘stoppemfloppen’.

Forrest: As a beautiful, busty lady yourself, what do you think of the alleged claim by researchers in 3 Frankfurt hospitals a few years ago that ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life?

Karin: First things first, I’m not exactly that busty. I could do with a little more in that department.
I think the explanation used after the Frankfurt researchers observed their subjects over a few years was that sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation and this cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. It sounds correct to me but in my non-expert medical opinion, people with very high blood pressure should probably stay away from this therapy J

Forrest: How long have you been working as an escort, and what motivated you to choose this career path?

Karin: I only started in February 2009, one day before Valentine’s Day.
It may sound like a short time, but it is not really that short.
One could reach the top of the “learning curve” in this profession quite fast. There is no induction time included like in most jobs, clients do not make allowances for new escorts on the basis they’re new so if you want to make it in this business you need to learn fast

Regarding my reasons to start escorting, I wish I would have an impressive story to tell, unfortunately there is nothing much. Simply, I was trying to get a little ahead in the financial department, seeing that all my hard work since then has brought me much stress and little money. Nobody should understand from what I’m saying that escorting is easy but there aren’t very many businesses around that require only a small capital to start with, where the hours are as flexible as you like them to be, where there is no need for staff to be employed other then yourself, and where the returns are directly proportional with the time and effort you put in.

Forrest: You have become very popular in the 6 months since your arrival in Ireland – what do you think is the secret to your success?

Karin: Without a doubt, my personality.
Then comes the internet, which really helps spread the word around.

Still, being popular on E-I doesn’t make me one of the most successful escorts out there.
I could easily name a few escorts with lots of reviews and very well regarded that don’t interact much or at all on the community board, but we all know their business is booming.

Forrest: You have a long list of ‘favourites’ on your profile – which one is your absolute favourite?

Karin: Really don’t want to comment on that. I hope you will see it for yourself one day J

Forrest: I hope you are not trying to seduce me Karin??? There are people that say that the size of a man’s penis is not important. Do you think those people are ………… men or women?

Karin: Loving & understanding women would say that, as much as confident & optimistic men.

Forrest: You also say that you are bisexual. Have you ever engaged in sexual a relationship with another woman outside of escorting?

Karin: Currently, I am not seeing any woman. I did a few times in the past.
A particular nasty one even managed to put me off from such practices for a while.
Since then, I did see a few others but I like to keep things simple now, it’s all about sex and I would never try an actual relationship with a woman ever again.

Forrest: A lot of men fantasise about threesomes with two women. If a boyfriend asked you to act out this fantasy for him, would you oblige?

Karin: Absolutely NOT. It has to be my idea, otherwise it’s just insulting to me. I may like women but I don’t forget I am a woman myself.

Forrest: Have you ever taken part in a porn film?

Karin: No, I avoid any situation where I could be filmed or photographed being engaged in sexual activities.

[Forrest]

Forrest: You spent a month in Dublin when you first came to Ireland before taking up residence in Cork. Have you noticed many cultural differences between the two cities?

Karin: I actually spent more time in Dublin, not just one month. I used to have a regular job there before deciding to become an escort. There aren’t many differences really. It looks to me Cork is being more relaxed then Dublin, people seem to be easier to talk to but let’s not forget I have grown as a person since then and it could be just me handling things better then I used to in the beginning.


Forrest: The word ‘langer’ is a slang word that has several meanings and is, apparently, a regular part of Cork vocabulary. Have you heard it being used and what do you think of the surname of German golfer Bernhard Langer being used in this way?

Karin: I only heard the word on the radio, obviously nobody referred to me as a “langer” J
In Germany, the surname is not very unusual, I know a few people that have it, it’s a form for “long”. BTW, this surname is also used by Jewish people.


Forrest: Have you made many friends outside of your working life since you came to Cork?

Karin: A big NO to this question. I don’t socialise much.

Forrest: What is the best chat up line you have heard?

Karin: “Are you free tonight, or will it cost me ???, from someone who was obviously very cheeky and didn’t know my profession: P
Forrest: Have you ever fancied a client?

Karin: A couple of times only, but nothing too serious. I am also quite professional and I would not pursue my interest in a client.

Forrest: How do you relax when you are not working?

Karin: Jacuzzi baths always do the trick.
Then surfing the net, playing online games (anybody heard of rummy , strategy computer games, watching television and my favourite DVDs, shopping.

Forrest: If you could relive the last 5 years of your life, what would you do differently?

Karin: Honestly I would become an escort then.
5 years ago … the times were good here; I would say any good escort was making a fortune, working only part time and being very choosy with her clients. By now I’ll be long retired from escorting, I would have my own business somewhere in the world and I would really live my life the way I want.

Forrest: How long more do you anticipate working as an escort?

Karin: No longer then 1 – 2 years.

Forrest: Have you any idea what you would do if you were not an escort?

Karin: I would still be a PAYE employee in Dublin , getting promotion after promotion

Forrest: Describe your ideal day?

Karin: I’ll try to be very realistic

I wake up at noon in my huge king size bed covered in satin sheets that made me purr like a kitten. My devoted, intelligent and vigorous boyfriend prepares my coffee and my breakfast while I’m in the shower. He doesn’t show any signs of being tired after the sensuous night we just had.

We have the breakfast in the balcony because the weather is just too nice to be indoors.
We’ll chat for a while about what a complete disaster his life would have been without me.

I check the post and there is a letter from my mother, she is healthy and doing pretty well, apparently her biggest problem at the moment is to decide where to go abroad for her holidays.

I go online on E – I for a little while just to discover that I received 20 positive unrated reviews from nice people who promised to review me and never did it before for some strange reason. I know I just retired yesterday but as long as my profile on E – I is still active it’s nice to get a little appreciation, even if it’s retroactive.

I quickly check the balances of my various accounts and all its good.
One of my regulars gave me a little while ago a fantastic stock market tip and since then I never had to worry about money. It’s nice to see I could build now that huge country side house and the animal farm that I always dreamed about.

I’m carefully selecting some clothes in my usual style: figure hugging, sexy but not over the top pretentious. While I’m doing my make up, my boyfriend is bringing the car around and waits patiently for me to finish.

We’re going shopping in town where I buy everything I like, without even a glance on the price tag. Simple, I like it … I take it. There is a celebrity make up specialist in Brown Thomas who begs to let him use on me some of his finest products and I accept once he is assuring me that the results will be simply astonishing.

When I get a little tired of the shopping game, my boyfriend suggests a nice restaurant where we can taste some good food and rest for a while. I’ll meet there 2 of my best friends and we’re catching up for a while and planning a night out in the weekend.

When I’m fully recharged, we’re going home to lay by the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

In the evening I go back on the computer to play my latest strategy game. The TV is on in the background. I just can’t believe what I’m hearing: David Boreanaz will play alongside the 2 guys from Supernatural in a new series from Angel, a show that Fox wisely decided to bring back to life. On the table I notice a bowl of fresh fruit and I decide to help myself.

After my game, the Jacuzzi bath is ready and waiting! It smells like raspberries and roses in there, my considerate boyfriend did it again anticipating my need to relax. I sometimes like to read while taking a bath, this time is no exception and I take a few women’s magazines and a couple of books with me.

When I finish my Jacuzzi bath, I’ll take my boyfriend to bed where we speak and laugh and made love repeatedly in a very random order.

Forrest: So you haven’t really given it much thought then? Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy the remainder of your stay in Ireland.

Karin: Thank you for a wonderful interview Forrest. I hope we can do this again. Can I get off your knee now please?

[Dub Lad]

Dub_Lad: What do you do in your spare time ?

Westside: I ummm *pause* I once had a bottle of cola and well i managed to put my mister in the hole and well i havent been able to pee properly since the cola has caused havoc.

Dub_Lad: Can I recommend you empty the contents first?

Westie: Ohhh I am enlightened I will do that!


True story.

[MR JOLLY]

Interviewee: The Adorable Elle of Edinburgh (Elle)

Interviewer: Mr Jolly (MJ)

Location: In a steaming bubble bath at a secret location. (the things I do for EI!)

MJ: “Elle, Mr Jolly EI Times, a few questions for our perverted and twisted posters please”
MJ: First of all the obligatory standard questions.

MJ: Q1. How did you get started in the business?

Elle: I was a member of several swinging clubs, and lead astray by one of the females into doing a few orgies etc ... I was paid a few quid and it started from there...Still love the anticipation on finding out who you have behind the door.

MJ: Q2. What’s the weirdest thing a client has asked for? Leaving out no detail no matter how depraved (it takes a lot to shock the E.I. sicko’s... I mean members).

Elle: The strangest was a client who brought along a 50 metre roll of clingfilm. He asked me to wrap him in it from head to toe...then squat above his face and watch me dump on his face. I had to decline due to fact I’d had a vindaloo curry and felt rather delicate in that department... although I did wrap him in his clingfilm and pee'd on him instead......
MJ:

MJ: Q3. Regular posters will know you as a footie fan, if a professional player turned up for an appointment, who would be you want it to be? And which player would make you lock yourself in the bathroom till he left?

Elle: I have had the pleasure of having sex with an ex England international and his brother in a rather hot and horny drunken night out about 2 years ago...One way or the other us Scottish are being screwed by the English... both on and off the field ..I definitely would not like Shrek from Man United to turn up at my door....unless he brought his Mrs with him of course.....

MJ: Q4. If a client is, how shall I say this.... struggling to reach that special place and time is of the essence. Do you have any “moves” that you whip out that always get the desired result? Please feel free to demonstrate or sketch.

Elle: I think the best sex is all in the mind, seduction, flirting...getting to know clients.... Each person is different and like different things....eye contact is a must!! for me....I adore giving oral sex while looking at my clients reaction while I’m doing it, other times I prefer the more sensual approach...lots of kissing and touching, lots of foreplay till your dying to be inside me.... No two people are the same, and I like it that way...

MJ: Q5. Living or dead, male or female, name 5 famous people from history for the ultimate gang bang?

Elle: Adolf Hitler (and his one testicle) Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Manson, Michael Hutchison (inxs) to tie me up ... Michael Jackson

MJ: Q6. Anyone who follows your adverts will know you tour Ireland probably more extensively than any other escort. What is the biggest shithole you’ve visited? If you don’t want to name it, maybe you could describe what made it a shithole for our readers (and then we’ll be able to figure it out).

Elle: I would have to say the worst hotel I stayed it was in Tralee, Kerry....It looked lovely in the advert, even when I got there I thought looks nice enough. I checked in and went up to my room...ohhh my god....i had entered a timewarp back to the 60's...bed was creaky... floor was worse...Bedding was horrible woollen blankets...I was awoken at 7am by a cleaner who was in the middle of going through my handbag...So I told her to get out!! told hotel and there excuse was that the cleaners always check the rooms at that hour!! I have never been so glad to be leaving that hotel in all my life....Wiped my feet as I was leaving...

MJ: Q7. You post quite regularly and have probably met a few of the regular posters. How have your preconceived views of them compared to the reality? You don’t have to name names (unless you want to).
Elle:
I met the anti christ once while in Cork....and all I can say was that he came to see me he was right devil....but when he left he was an angel and a pleasure to have met...
I met a lovely big gentle giant also while I was in Cork, he was obsessed with my tiny wee ears and hands etc.....Made me feel very special indeed
Met the Limerick bull....met him a few time's, although recently I knocked him back because he was tipsy...regretted it ever since....
Met a lovely dirty dog once.....and I got to piss on his leg for a change...considered it a great pay back (lol)......pity he went to pastures new, as I miss his antics..
I met a mad scientist from Dublin....who I love to practice my experiments on from time to time...
I have also met someone who I will call the Italian Stallion!! He reminds me of the Italian ex referee Pierluigi Collina ...I do love a my bald men...mmmmm

MJ: Q8. Clients often get to select a uniform of their choice for the escort to wear during the appointment. If you could, what uniform would you have your client wear? ( I have Spiderman outfit for Halloween if that would do it for you? Ever done it with a web slinger?)

Elle: I love my semen.....so I would have to say a sailors uniform would be rather appropriate, don't you think?....lol.

MJ: Q9. If you could work as a duo with any other girl currently advertising on EI who would it be?

Elle: I would love to work with a gorgeous pre op transexual....that way I would get the best of both worlds .

MJ: Q10. Scottish and Irish people are generally assumed to be very alike is there any traits you see in the Scots you’d like to see in the Irish and vice versa? Also how do punters differ between the two?

Elle: I would have to say that both Scottish and Irish are very alike, even more so in Cavan...christ they are tighter than a duck arse....worse than the Scot's, and that saying something.....If they dropped a euro, he would be that quick top pick it up it would hit him in the back of the head before it even hit the ground!!