Sex with Lesbians- for free!

[Dick Spunk]

My fellow punters, in these money tight times, where we are ALL facing financial burdens, we have to think of ever more ingenius ways of having free sex with women, we can chat them up in Tescos, Dunnes Stores and even at bus stops, but like any good fishermen, we have to keep trawling further and further from the shore to get our little delights of soft passionate female flesh!

And there is a huge unexplored area area none of us have ventured into - Lesbians!!!!!
Yes, not all of them are big fat ugly man hating Liverpool supporters, some of them look quiet tasty- and they are the ones I am going to tell you here and now how to get in your bed! (or better still their bed)
And if you play your cards right, then you will be invited by them to have Long Long hours of sex with 2 naked enthuasic lesbians, who want you to Cum and Cum again again!!!!

So read carefully and take notes.
Lesbian couples want sperm donars so that they can have their own offspring, and this is where they need US, males with cocks!!
Look for adverts by Lesbians wanting guys to impregnate them, check newspapers, websites etc, thats the easy bit, the hard bit begins after you make contact - they will want to meet you, in person, to see are you suitable genetic material to conceive with them.
The 2 of them will want to meet you, maybe in a hotel bar, and if you look like Dub Lad or Nicegirlsarenice, then you havnt got a fucking hope.
First of all You have to look the part- ditch the tracksuit bottoms- it has to be a sober suit.
Wash yourself, have a clean shave, wipe your arse, ditch the Liverpool shirt.
It has to be a clean white shirt and tie.
You should also wear glasses (makes you look intelligent), and don't have the Daily Star in your hand, carry a copy of WAR AND PEACE (You see the Lesbos want to think that your have brains, that you are educated- so that you can pass on the intelligent genes to their offspring).
Dont tell them you barely passed the Junior Cert, tell them you have 2- no make it 3 degrees, something like Physics, Ancient History and Mathemathics.

When you sit down dont order a Budweiser for yourself- make it Orange Juice (more healthy).
They will ask you questions about your background.
Don't tell them you a second best in your pub dart team, instead Tell them you are a former member of the Irish Olympic team, horsejumping or some other poncy sport.
Don't tell them your job at work is making cardboard boxes on the Naas road, tell them you are a 747 pilot for Aer Lingus.
Don't tell them your last shag was doggy style with Michelle Mature 3 days ago, tell them you have not had sex in ages, and that you don't believe in casual sex.
While doing this keep a straight face- remember where all this is leading- into their bed- for SEX!

And when you get there, just remember your good old uncle Dick gave you the know how

And below, the 2 Lesbians in question . . . is that an erection you are having . . . . . ?