July 09 Competiton

[luther]

Disclaimer........Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. The characters and events are fictitious, more or less.......


Escort(s): Magnificent JoAnna

Author: Lovelyladiesarelovely

Join Date: I couldn't get a date, that's why I'm here
Message Board Usergroup: Beginner
Message Board Posts: A few but I deleted them
Reviews: 1

Type: Female Escort
Location: Almost made it to the bed
Incall or Outcall: Outside in the garden when I called her first but then moved inside
Time / Date: After school/to excited to remember
Duration: I'd rather not say
Cost: Including bus fare???


It was my first punt……… in fact, to be honest, it was my first time……….
I tried once before but got caught in a hail of bullets and legged it, luck I'm a fast runner due to a healthy diet.......
Magnificent JoAnna was very gentle with me and made the whole experience so much quicker…….. I mean easier….. I thought she might laugh at me when I got undressed , but in fact she was very kind and complimented me on my body. She said she would love to have arms as slender as mine……. It put me at ease as I ogled her slender, toned, tanned frame……..Then she asked me if I’d like to take a shower but I assured her I had already washed my arse at home, my mother is very particular about that kind of thing, and now she even trusts me enough to do it on my own, but she still checks now and again, ever since that time I got hit by a bus, had to go to hospital with a nasty head injury and I had a few skid marks on my Y fronts. She was very embarrassed about it, I tried to tell her they were clean that morning and I may have had a little accident when I saw the bus coming for me just before impact… Sorry, there I was just starting to talk about sex and thinking of my mother straight away……….
Anyway…….. I don’t want to go into the details of my encounter with Magnificent JoAnna, but suffice to say she will always own a part of me. She said I was such a little pet. She was wonderful and even gave me a discount based on the time spent doing “you know what“…. I was very appreciative……… I had enough for the bus home, saved me a walk, or the embarrassment of having to phone my sister for another ride if it happened to still be wet…… I mean it was raining earlier that night……

Is this bit about me???......... ok then..........

Favourites Enjoyed: Looking and touching....... and I touched her too
Accuracy of Photos: I didn't take any, I didn't know I was allowed
Incall Location: Hallway and bedroom...... briefly
Physical Appearance: I think I'm handsome
Service Provided: I can do a little plumbing
Value for Money: Yes I think I am
Overall Satisfaction I haven't any complaints yet...... but this was my first time
Would You Recommend? Yes, I'm brillant
Would You See Again?: Every morning in the mirror

[rover]

Disclaimer........Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. The characters and events are fictitious, more or less.......


Escort(s): Magnificent JoAnna

Author: Lovelyladiesarelovely

Join Date: I couldn't get a date, that's why I'm here
Message Board Usergroup: Beginner
Message Board Posts: A few but I deleted them
Reviews: 1

Type: Female Escort
Location: Almost made it to the bed
Incall or Outcall: Outside in the garden when I called her first but then moved inside
Time / Date: After school/to excited to remember
Duration: I'd rather not say
Cost: Including bus fare???


It was my first punt……… in fact, to be honest, it was my first time……….
I tried once before but got caught in a hail of bullets and legged it, luck I'm a fast runner due to a healthy diet.......
Magnificent JoAnna was very gentle with me and made the whole experience so much quicker…….. I mean easier….. I thought she might laugh at me when I got undressed , but in fact she was very kind and complimented me on my body. She said she would love to have arms as slender as mine……. It put me at ease as I ogled her slender, toned, tanned frame……..Then she asked me if I’d like to take a shower but I assured her I had already washed my arse at home, my mother is very particular about that kind of thing, and now she even trusts me enough to do it on my own, but she still checks now and again, ever since that time I got hit by a bus, had to go to hospital with a nasty head injury and I had a few skid marks on my Y fronts. She was very embarrassed about it, I tried to tell her they were clean that morning and I may have had a little accident when I saw the bus coming for me just before impact… Sorry, there I was just starting to talk about sex and thinking of my mother straight away……….
Anyway…….. I don’t want to go into the details of my encounter with Magnificent JoAnna, but suffice to say she will always own a part of me. She said I was such a little pet. She was wonderful and even gave me a discount based on the time spent doing “you know what“…. I was very appreciative……… I had enough for the bus home, saved me a walk, or the embarrassment of having to phone my sister for another ride if it happened to still be wet…… I mean it was raining earlier that night……

Is this bit about me???......... ok then..........

Favourites Enjoyed: Looking and touching....... and I touched her too
Accuracy of Photos: I didn't take any, I didn't know I was allowed
Incall Location: Hallway and bedroom...... briefly
Physical Appearance: I think I'm handsome
Service Provided: I can do a little plumbing
Value for Money: Yes I think I am
Overall Satisfaction I haven't any complaints yet...... but this was my first time
Would You Recommend? Yes, I'm brillant
Would You See Again?: Every morning in the mirror

Excellent Bluther, Mistress Vasgina will be as jealous as hell.

[luther]

Excellent Bluther, Mistress Vasgina will be as jealous as hell.

I only thought of it after, I forgot to mention the guy he met on the stairs......... I right horny lookin dog he was too........................

[Doozer]

It was first punt so I decided to go for a forign girl as I didnt want to be told who shit I actually was. So a quick browse at E-Is finest in Limerick lead me to call up Shakira. Her photos suggested a real sex kitten , porn star who would fufil my wildest fantasies, she also had a duo companion just in case I wa in the mood. phoned her up anyway and was greeted by the most exotic voice I ever heard. Now a youngster may not have been able to control themselves when greeted by such a sultry voice but being as old and wise as I am I did manage not to get carried away. Anyway made booking for 10 pm as thats the latest she works. (Always like to be the last client as I feel I wont be rushed out the door as another booking is due) she gives me address and and 10 pm I arrive, throbbing and rearing to go.

I am greeted by a very sexy looking woman at the door, in a see through nighty or something similar full pouting lips sexy body the whole package and was told to go into the bedroom and undress. I do so awaiting the sinful pleasure I am about to experience. when naked and waiting I have a quick glance around the room which seems clean and tidy, no condoms in the bin, floor or bed etc. Anyway I am still there waiting in the bedroom in all my glory admitaly getting a little nervous afer all this waiting, finally the door opens and the gilr comes in and asks me how long and asks for the money before she disapears again. two min later a hefty woman comes through the door, wearing what seems to be a tent around her which she makes look as small as a g string, if any of ye have seen Matt Lucas of little Britan fame doing his Bubbles sketch you will know what I mean. This monster of a woman, who I may add has arms as big as my head, boomed in broken English lie on bed to which I do immediatly scared out of my witts. I ask if I she does kissing owo etc and she she demands an extra 100e from me. I ask waht do I get for my 150e and she says you get to see me naked and a wank anything is extra. everything 100e extra. I ask what happend to the woman who greeted me at the door, and her English disappered completely. refusing to pay anything extra I agree with the wank, scared to just walk out , because if I dont pay the only way I will be leaving is in a body bag or through the sixth floor window. Also her pussy im guessing could complety envelop me and id never be seen again.
So any way she grips my member like a vice, it starts to go numb, and with all the tugging, well im being very economical with the truth here, not so much tugging than pumping, she actually pealed my forskin down to my balls, blood everywhere and me screaming in agony. the beast does not like this reaction one bit and throws me the most evil glare imaginable and conties to pulverise me. when will this torture end I ask myself and would quite happily accept welcome and pray that my wife would come in and put a stop to this, thats how much in pain I was I would ended my marraige right there just to stop this abuse. decided to make a cum facemaybe then she would leave me be. It worked . just running on pure andreniln I got dressed and ran, faster than I ever did in my life, to the hospital and was admitted. The doc said I would be in pain for ages but the worst part is that my member had become infected and would not make it and an amputaion would be necessary.

Lads avoid at all costs for the love of God aviod.

[lordparker]

Place very easy to find and parking no problem. After reading all the postive reviews of POXY i just had to see if they were for real and boy they sure are.

Rang POXY last night and she said she could see me staight away which was great. I did not intend to meet her after the last visit but I could not stay away. Only one word to describe this girl- SENSATIONAL!!! She is the 'Carlsberg' of Escorts and definately the best girl on this website.

She is Georgeous, Lovely figure and great personality and i can tell you she is the page 3 girl she is sexbomb. her pictures as I said before do not do this girl justice she is much more beautiful in real person.

POXY met me at the door wearing a real sexy short dress and we hit it off staight away, she is so friendly, was offered shower and drink. POXY is one of the nicest persons you could meet. She is full of energy and she has the lovely smile. She enjoyes her work and makes you fell very comfortable.

I m an amateur at this but POXY rapidly eased my fears dropping her short slip and before I knew it we were both naked on bed with her giving me the most amazing o*al sex. I had to move fast to stop myself to cum but tried to return the compliment as best as I could.

With her legs wrapped around my head, he made it very clear that she was ready for me. So I rolled her over into her knees. Before me was the most beautiful rounded bottom just waiting to be serviced. I will treasure the moment when I first entered her for a long time.

She offers all the services as listed and service is never rushed. What i most like about her is her warm personality and she is very genuine person with a warm heart. Always have nice chat after the main event and then i was off home dreaming about my next meeting with this princess.

The service was everything i have come to expect from POXY. she has a great attitude for this bizness and is so nice & friendly, in fact for me she is like a good wine, she just gets better with time and i will contine to visit POXY when she is in Ireland. Guys, this girl is not to be missed and trust me comes highly recommended!!

[pats bodyguard]

Rang POXY last night and she said she could see me staight away which was great. I did not intend to meet her after the last visit but I could not stay away. Only one word to describe this girl- SENSATIONAL!!! She is the 'Carlsberg' of Escorts and definately the best girl on this website.

She is Georgeous, Lovely figure and great personality and i can tell you she is the page 3 girl she is sexbomb. her pictures as I said before do not do this girl justice she is much more beautiful in real person.

The service was everything i have come to expect from POXY. she has a great attitude for this bizness and is so nice & friendly, in fact for me she is like a good wine, she just gets better with time and i will contine to visit POXY when she is in Ireland. Guys, this girl is not to be missed and trust me comes highly recommended!!

can i RAT this one west man?

ah go on

pb

[Banned User]

Irish Escort Reviews:
Escort(s): Jumaska Looza Kin Tak ORan5 !

Author:
James T. Kirk
Join Date: Star Date 230.4.16
Message Board Usergroup: Addicted to EI
Message Board Posts: 14,875
Reviews: 69

Type:
Female Escort Intergalactic
Location: Star System Cygnus X-1
Incall or Outcall: Beam Up Special
Time / Date: Star Date 346.2.99 (Summer Two Suns Time)
Duration: 13.21 Pfrangoos (1 EarthHour)
Cost: 34 Kloops (+ 9.5 Kloops for Extras)
Review: *trusted reviewer*

I was recomended Jumaska by both Scankman (Mr Spock) and Zoobanzoo (Scotty) as a good fun girl. Not having had relations with an alien lifeform with 6 vaginas before ,I was understandably quite nervous and excited. I had been drinking some Hgoopa to calm my nerves and popped a handfull of Jinka pills which I stole from Khan to make sure my pecker would stay up for all six of her Love holes.

On arriving at my cabin she wore a skimpy bikini which covered many of her breasts. I was immediately at attention. I had timed the visit to coincide with our voyage through the notorious Lipcolous asteroid field. The added buzz of a swaying ship, possible death and the occassional explosion only added to the occassion. After putting on the muzzle to avoid her preying mantis like proclivities we began.

Suffice to say she did everything that she advertised. The anal was particularly satisfying. Unfortunately she would only kiss lightly and would accept no tongue, however, with six vaginas to devour this was only a minor issue. Being pinned to the ceiling by four of her five tentacles while receving her sucker to my bell end was an experience I would recommend to any man.

Having unloaded myself into her first 5 pussies I foolishly suggested that we go bareback for the sixth. She did not welcome this suggestion and proceeded to beat the living shit out of me with her 8ft scaly tail. Fortunatley I like a bit of BDSM so I was not as upset as you may have imagined.

I found her very chatty and generally a quite lovely girl who was not a clock watcher. had I the time or money I would have gone for an all nighter but as I had temporarily put Mr Chekov in charge and knew that after an hour on the vodka he would be liable to crash the ship or have another coup d'etat.

I cant wait for the next tip from Spock and Scotty. Believe there is an Earth Woman called Karin in Cork ?? who is particularly tasty. Apparently even gave a stiffie to the local men who are notoriously impotent.


Accuracy of Photos: Slightly doctored - Only 2 heads not 3 as suggested
Incall Location: n/a Had her beamed up
Physical Appearance: Stunning
Service Provided: So good it should be Illegal
Value for Money: Very Satisfied
Overall Satisfaction Excellent
Would You Recommend? Yes
Would You See Again?: Yes

[Westsidex]

My life as a judge wont be such a simple one.

Westside.

[luther]

My life as a judge wont be such a simple one.

Westside.

Keep em comin folks...........

We don't want Westies life to be a simple one....................

[WD-40]

AT LONG LAST,THE BIG DAY HAD ARRIVED.IV BEEN ON THE SOCIAL FOR A WHILE NOW SO IT TOOK ME 11YEARS TO GET THE MONEY TOGETHER FOR THIS, MY FIRST EVER VISIT TO AN ESCORT.I HAD PICKED OUT AN ESCORT BUT SHE HAD SINCE PAST AWAY WHILE I WAS SAVING.NOT TO WORRY.I ARRANGED AN APPOINTMENT WITH ANOTHER CHINESE BIRD IN THE CITY.
I PHONED HER AS AGREED WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE LOCATION TO GET DIRECTIONS TO HER APARTMENT.THIS WAS ALOT MORE DIFFICULT THAN I IMAGINED, THINK IT WAS SUMTIN TO DO WITH HER HARD CHINESE ACCENT. "YO GO TO BIG GAS DOR,YO PUS BUTTON WAN FO SI(146) YO GO STRA HED N TAKE FUR TUN RI,YO GO UP FO FLY STAIRS,ME HOU ON RII,FLY FLY"
ANYWAY I GOT THEIR IN THE END AND KNOCKED ON THE DOOR,IT SWUNG OPEN ON ITS OWN.I DIDNT KNOW WETHER TO JUST WALK IN OR KNOCK AGAIN SO I SHOUTED IN,"HELLO,IS THERE ANBODY HERE" TO WHICH I HEARD THE REPLY "DOW HEER YO ASSSS HO" HOLY FUCK SHE WAS THE SMALLEST PERSON ID EVER SEEN ABOUT 3 AND A HALF FOOT I RECKON.I SUPPOSE THE PICS WERE ACCURATE BECAUSE ON THE WEBSITE THEY WERENT VERIFIED AND SHE LOOKED FUCK ALL LIKE THEM,SO THATS ACCURATE IN A WAY.SHE TOLD ME TO WAIT IN THE BEDROOM AND TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.I FELT REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE DOING THIS AS THEIR WAS NO BEDROOM DOOR JUST THOSE BEAD THINGS AND I CUD HEAR OTHER PEOPLE IN THE NEXT ROOM.AT LEAST THIS WAY SHE WUDNT SEE THE STAIN ON MY BOXERS FROM THE PRE CUM I HAD ON THE BUS ON THE WAY HERE.AS I SAT NAKED COLD AND NERVOUS ON THE END OF THE BEND I HEARD A VERY FAMILAR VOICE SAYIN "TANKS VERY MUCH DARLIN DAT WAS FUCKIN A 1" I DEFO KNEW THE VOICE SO I PEEPED OUT FOR A LOOK AND SURPRISE SURPRISE.
ME="DAD IS THAT YOU" I SAID,TO WHICH HE REPLIED
DAD="WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YA LITTLE BOLLOX,IF YOUR MOTHER FINDS OUT"
ME="I WUDNT WORRY ABOUT ME DAD YOUR THE ONE THATS MARRIED TO HER"
DAD="YOU LITTLE PUP,IF YOU BREATH A WORD OF THIS I'L CUT YOUR LITTLE PRICK OFF"
ME="DONT WORRY DAD,YOU LOOK AFTER MY SESSION WITH NOODLES AND IL FORGET I EVER SAW YOU"
DAD="OOOH YA LITTLE BASTARD,IF YOU WERENT YOUR MOTHERS SON ID KILL YOU RITE NOW,HERES YOUR FUCKIN MONEY,HALF AN HOUR YOU WUDNT HAVE AN HOUR IN YOU,FUCKIN NEEDLE DICK"
ME="THANKS DAD,LOVE YOU"BYE.
WHAT A RESULT MY DA PAYIN FOR MY FIRST PUNT,WIT THAT NOODLES RETURNED TO THE ROOM
NOODLES="WA YO WAN"
Emm SEX PLEASE I REPLIED.SHE WALKED OVER TO THE BED,I CUD HEAR HER MUMBLE UNDER HER BREATH"FUCKIN A HO,COCK LIK FLY RICE"BUT I TRIED NOT TO LET THIS DISTRACT ME AS SHE WAS THE SEXIEST MIDGET ID EVER SEEN.SHE BOUNCED UP AND DOWN ON MY DICK FOR ABOUT 90 SECONDS LAUGHIN ALL THE TIME SHOUTIN "FLUCK ME CHOPSTICK COCK"FLUCK ME CHOPSTICK COCK"AT THAT POINT MY PENIS EXPLODED WITH CUM,HEAVEN.