Playing it cool

[Eagle87]

Listen, I've had a few again. In fact I've had drank the same volume of pink gin that would make a tyrannosaurus rex get sick I think.

If a tyrannosaurus rex drank what I've drank tonight, there'd be pieces of goat and metal from Jurassic Park jeeps all over the fucking floor. But thankfully I'm still able to type when I'm drunk, and that's part of the problem you see, because I've been texting a lady friend of mine and part of me is happy enough to play it cool, but another part of me, a part of me swimming in pink gin, would like to drop the act and tell her how much I genuinely like her....and maybe even ask her out if she doesn't block me immediately.

But for some reason, lads have to play it cool, but so do women, so what you have is two fucking eejits just playing it cool for the next four years, tip-toeing around the obvious like a couple of home invaders walking around somebody's house in their socks. I suppose what I'm asking is, how would you go about pumping your own stomach? Would you do it with a tube or what would ye do. Fucking lockdown man. There's nothing to do except drink alcohol and abuse WhatsApp.

And also, the irony of asking punters about relationship advice - or potential relationship advice - isn't lost on me. Some of you cunts will ask me to ask her if she does OWO.

Also, free Casey again please.