Do you feel guilty for cheating on your wives and girlfriends

[TheFalcon]

well I imagine most of us are in the same boat here,

we are hooked on these many beautiful escorts and cannot stop visiting them!!

I suppose at the end of the day though we are cheating on our wives and girlfriends and it is morally wrong,

we are sinners when its all said and done,

I like to think I am a gentleman and all that and I do get on well with the escorts, but nonetheless I have a girlfriend in my life for the last two years and I suppose I am cheating on her and a "naughty boy" in that sense,

Its just massages I go for nowadays but still I can hardly justify it on the basis of not having sex, Im still naked with a beautiful woman and it would be the end of the relationship if girlfriend found out,

Just curious then- Do you ever feel guilty for visiting escorts or do you just say "what she does not know will do her no harm!

[ThomasJ]

Its a good question.

I am single but I have been visiting escorts for over ten years now and in that time I have been in a number of relationships. If I am honest its certainly a factor why a couple of those relationships never progressed further. Some would have ended anyway, just ran their course and fizzled out but some with a bit of effort on my part might have made it. Although I have never been caught out I am fairly certain that my lack of commitment to the relationship did come across.

I certainly did suffer from guilt but the temptation always won out.

[SteveB]

Feel guilty about cheating on some of the girlfriends.
But I don't feel guilty about cheating on any of the wives!

[SteveB]

Seriously, I don't have any wives, and at present, don't have a girlfriend. Nor am I actively looking for either at the moment.
I have had numerous girlfriends in the past, but, unlike ThomasJ, EI has not been a factor why a couple of those relationships never progressed further.
Escorts do prevent me from seeking out inappropriate relationships, for example ex-girlfriends or some casual female friends that would just end badly.

[philipkntz]

There has been times that I felt guilty about cheating on my regular escort.

[Brooksey86]

Happy to say I’ve never cheated on any girlfriend with any escort but now that it’s become a regular thing who knows if I got in a relationship

[JustAnotherGuy]

I do feel guilty. She is the best person I know, but I just cant commit to 1 girl forever. i just need the occasional change and that's not an excuse. It's still wrong and I feel guilty but I can't stop myself.

[Eagle87]

Listen, I was on a diet until recently - a strict diet, around 1,000 calories per day. What happened? Obviously I fucking slipped and felt shit about myself. I felt pathetic, weak and devoid of any willpower whatsoever. Is this the reality? No. The guilt stemmed from setting myself up to fail. One thousand calories is NOTHING when you're my height and weight. It's an impossible challenge and you're not so much weak as you are stupid for setting yourself that challenge in the first place.

And I bring this up because it's kind of similar to monogamy. I think men and women put a lot of pressure on themselves to stay faithful, and then beat themselves up over it if there's an indiscretion or two. But the truth is lads, monogamy is difficult - really difficult, when you actually think about it.

That one person who you're committed to has to be a perfect match in so many different ways: your personalities have to mesh; your humours have to mesh; you have to be compatible sexually and comfortable with one another's bedroom preferences; you have to like to do the same shit at the weekend; you have to love one another's cooking; you have to be there for each other emotionally; you have to want the same things long term.

You're both in this tiny boat and have to negotiate every single wave by rowing in complete synchronicity on a number of different levels, and it's hard like. It's hard because that one person has to be your partner in a dozen different ways. There's just so many moving parts to an efficient relationship and from time to time one part will go a bit off-kilter and if that relates to the bedroom, and you go off and book an escort for an hour, you're not a rotten human being.

In a way you're setting yourself up for failure by trying to be perfect in a very imperfect world, a world where monogamy is the standard, but being thin is considered the standard too and for some people - fat cunts like me - that's also really fucking difficult. The bottom line is, don't feel guilty. Unless you're treating the escorts terribly or taking genuine satisfaction in 'cheating', you aren't a douchebag. You're human and what you're doing is only morally wrong if you subscribe to the bullshit idea that no matter what, you have to be monogamous. Monogamy is a flawed concept and you are flawed. So am I. So is every-fucking-body.

The one lovely thing in the aftermath of Diego Maradona's death is the realisation that people can be flawed and beautiful simultaneously.

[Eagle87]

Listen, I was on a diet until recently - a strict diet, around 1,000 calories per day. What happened? Obviously I fucking slipped and felt shit about myself. I felt pathetic, weak and devoid of any willpower whatsoever. Is this the reality? No. The guilt stemmed from setting myself up to fail. One thousand calories is NOTHING when you're my height and weight. It's an impossible challenge and you're not so much weak as you are stupid for setting yourself that challenge in the first place.

And I bring this up because it's kind of similar to monogamy. I think men and women put a lot of pressure on themselves to stay faithful, and then beat themselves up over it if there's an indiscretion or two. But the truth is lads, monogamy is difficult - really difficult, when you actually think about it.

That one person who you're committed to has to be a perfect match in so many different ways: your personalities have to mesh; your humours have to mesh; you have to be compatible sexually and comfortable with one another's bedroom preferences; you have to like to do the same shit at the weekend; you have to love one another's cooking; you have to be there for each other emotionally; you have to want the same things long term.

You're both in this tiny boat and have to negotiate every single wave by rowing in complete synchronicity on a number of different levels, and it's hard like. It's hard because that one person has to be your partner in a dozen different ways. There's just so many moving parts to an efficient relationship and from time to time one part will go a bit off-kilter and if that relates to the bedroom, and you go off and book an escort for an hour, you're not a rotten human being.

In a way you're setting yourself up for failure by trying to be perfect in a very imperfect world, a world where monogamy is the standard, but being thin is considered the standard too and for some people - fat cunts like me - that's also really fucking difficult. The bottom line is, don't feel guilty. Unless you're treating the escorts terribly or taking genuine satisfaction in 'cheating', you aren't a douchebag. You're human and what you're doing is only morally wrong if you subscribe to the bullshit idea that no matter what, you have to be monogamous. Monogamy is a flawed concept and you are flawed. So am I. So is every-fucking-body.

The one lovely thing in the aftermath of Diego Maradona's death is the realisation that people can be flawed and beautiful simultaneously.

Just another thing to add to this, taking responsibility is also very important. If you're visiting escorts every week then it's because you choose to, not because your wife or girlfriend indirectly made you by not putting out. That's a much bigger douchebag move in my opinion.

[Eagle87]

I like this quote by Leonard Cohen
“ there is a crack in everything, that’s how
The light gets in

Speaking of which, Closing Time is about the end of a relationship. "Looks like freedom but it feels like death." In this instance it doesn't have to feel like death if you or anybody else cheats. Obviously questions like that - 'how was your day?' - is a breeding ground for guilt and I'd feel super guilty as well, but guilt is about as corrosive an emotion I've ever experienced and I try not to open the door and invite it in.