Cringe Reviews

[pg2019]

The odd time when looking for a girl to visit I'll come across a review that makes me laugh and cringe in equal parts...subtle (or not so subtle) suggestions on how big the reviewer's manhood is, how much the girl found them attractive or amazing in the bed, that special unique connection they've just had with a girl that had to pay money to meet, and of course the "gentlemen" who don't want to be explicit and "keep the details between us", only to then describe some ridiculous innuendo about what went on!

So I had to keep note of some of them and post them. Here's some of my favourites so far:

I think *escort* got more than she bargained for (LOL !), but certainly had a wide smile on her face as she 'saw Heaven' multiple times

I had to remind her a few times who exactly was meant to be enjoying themselves the most

Her moist lips, deep kisses, & an electric embrace which led to a metaphor for what (literally) was about to come ! There was something tantric in the air, something indulgent, something electric ... As I showered to prepare my 'armour' for sweet battle.

Nothing explicit as *escort* requests but suffice to say when we made love sideways the movements were in perfect harmony! The kissing gentle yet passionate & I loved really loved the way your eyes closed Mandy & you surrender to the pleasure with me & whispered little (mandarin?) words of encouragement & who knows joy?

Eastern music accompanied her sighs, 'locked inside' as we erupted in double-ecstasy. We fell happily into each others' arms, slowly falling into a loving sleep where we could hear each others' rapid heart-beat

PS Keep in touch babe Xxxx

I think that it is fair to say that we hit it off immediately and *escort* was complimentary on a number of things

I suppose I could say that she was ... pleasantly surprised on a number of fronts

we had a fantastic time (she actually used that word at one point).

When the main event started, it was slow and careful ...she giggled ..but really got into, as I went places that maybe she hadn't been to before .. but she actually loved it !!

I still smile at her kinda 'ethnic' compliment about my 'friend'.

She was a little 'OMG',when she looked down... & asked me to be very careful and slow with her. I'm a sensitive and caring kind of guy, so no issue there.

[FetishCherry]

He might be a writter. I really like his reviews . The way he handle the words is admirable.

[Forceuser]

As I showered to prepare my 'armour' for sweet battle.


Good lord!

[clarelad]

“ as we made love sideways “

I like that , is that spooning ?

Look lads ye all have massive cocks even if ye don’t .

That look down very slowly and up in massive excitement.. with an excited cute giggle...
Like we never seen anything like it before

It’s part of the fun

I remember my first day with an agency , so nervous and so so shy ..
The amazing agency owner tells me the trick is , imagaine you have really horny
Sex with boyfriend, and he’s back from army after 6 weeks apart ,
Treat every client with that level of excitement and passion ...

So after like appointment, agency owner says maybe not pin them to wall and
Start choking them haha . And that I actually scared the client ..

I says ok so maybe a boyfriend you haven’t seen in a few days ..
We both laughed so hard , because this is a big difference....

Clients visits girls to have a great experience and massaging the penis and
Ego go hand in hand ( sometimes mouth )

Great thread

❤️

Love this girl she’s great craic

[MistressMonique]

I wonder do they open a wrapper with king size on 🤪

Its good to giggle on here again 😘

[JennyIrish]

Ha ha ha! If I had to be remimded who was meant to be enjoying themselves the most, I'd enjoy showing him the door!! I've said it here before I'm lucky to have lovely clients but I have zero tolerant for bullshit, and just like clients might have ladies they wouldn't wish to see again so do us ladies. I've done it in the past where a client had a disrespectful attitude, he got a partial refund and shown the door!

[Roderik]

Oh my. Stay clear of my reviews if you don't want to overdose on cringe.

[RayDonovan]

The odd time when looking for a girl to visit I'll come across a review that makes me laugh and cringe in equal parts...subtle (or not so subtle) suggestions on how big the reviewer's manhood is, how much the girl found them attractive or amazing in the bed, that special unique connection they've just had with a girl that had to pay money to meet, and of course the "gentlemen" who don't want to be explicit and "keep the details between us", only to then describe some ridiculous innuendo about what went on!

So I had to keep note of some of them and post them. Here's some of my favourites so far:

I do agree, the majority are cringe actually, and overblown, and a bit self indulgent. And self absorbed.

But it’s actually not that easy to write a review without verging on cringe. You’ve not written any reviews yourself I notice, but you seem a helpful poster so.. fair enough.

As much as escorts are dismissive of reviews, here and on twitter laughing and saying stuff like clients write these ”imaginary accounts”, “works of erotic fiction” “I wonder was he actually at the same appointment I was” etc, they do watch the reviews very carefully.

A purely matter of fact review might not go down too well I suspect now too, up against all the superlatives, but maybe I’m wrong. I often am.

And it’s important to remember there is a human being at the receiving end of that review. A casual remark that might not mean much to the client like, “She’s a bit heavier than her photos” might not actually be a criticism, maybe he likes something to hold and grab onto, I know I do.

But it might be really awful for the escort to read that, and ruin her whole day or her week. A throwaway remark for a guy, that just takes root in her head and wrecks her self esteem for a while.


I dunno, it do be like that sometimes, reviews be tricky.

[RayDonovan]

I think that was me on this thread, I only quickly scanned the quotes in the OP. Having re-read them..... yep, cringe










so here's this by way of apology

[Mrbean76]

The odd time when looking for a girl to visit I'll come across a review that makes me laugh and cringe in equal parts...subtle (or not so subtle) suggestions on how big the reviewer's manhood is, how much the girl found them attractive or amazing in the bed, that special unique connection they've just had with a girl that had to pay money to meet, and of course the "gentlemen" who don't want to be explicit and "keep the details between us", only to then describe some ridiculous innuendo about what went on!

So I had to keep note of some of them and post them. Here's some of my favourites so far:

The examples you went to great lengths to share are indeed cringeworthy

Don't you think it's a bit ironic though, starting a thread about reviews when you have zero reviews yourself?