What's the difference between a good girl and a bad girl?
The good girls are selective who they are bad with.
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What's the difference between a good girl and a bad girl?
The good girls are selective who they are bad with.
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
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One my dad told me:
Paddy and Murphy sat on the floor, Paddy fell off.
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That one should be in the shite joke of the day section.Originally Posted by Floki
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
beautyaddict (24-04-20), Floki (21-04-20)
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beautyaddict (24-04-20), Mrbean76 (22-04-20), yourehighered (22-08-21)
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Much better effort floki, you redeemed yourself.
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
Floki (22-04-20)
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Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. The price of bacon would go up.
Last edited by Floki; 24-04-20 at 14:47.
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What's the French for?....
A Bus Driver?
Charge d'Affaires
A Lawnmower?
Coup de Gras
yourehighered (22-08-21)
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One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town.
"I'm lookin' for the meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender.
"We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."
The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon."
The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"
Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.
"How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner.
"I don't," replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to open those beers first."
Mrbean76 (24-04-20)
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Really crap jokes
Man: Doctor! Doctor! I think I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
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A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
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Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
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What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Being raped.
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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
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What kind of doctor was Dr .Pepper?
A fizzcision.
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
Toolbox (25-04-20), yourehighered (22-08-21)
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