Crap joke of the day

[IAmLIAm]

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I "accidentally" passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.

Fixed it for you

[Mrbean76]

You can't spell advertisements without " semen" between the tits

[64west]

Thanks M.B for ruining the word for me. Every time I see AdverTIsemenTS from today on, I’ll be on here lookin for who offers COB. Appreciate it. 👍

[DonkeyDong7]

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job !
Lol

[whiteball]

The local council have just bult
high rise flats overlooking our
nudist beach, they're named
eyeful towers!

[Mrbean76]

See you later , love you xxx

Love you too.

Babe , it would mean a lot to me if you'd put some X's at the end of your replies xxx

OK, , love you too Donna , Jackie, Karen and Becky .

Fuckin prick !!

[Corkguykev]

Who does the cooking in a lesbian relationship? None, they both eat out....

[eoinmurphy]

Lol, one for the back pocket:

Kid 1: "hey, I bet you're still a virgin"
Kid 2:"yeah, I was a virgin until last night"
Kid 1: "yeah right"
Kid 2: "yeah, just ask your sister"
Kid 1: "I dont have a sister"
Kid 2: "you will in about 9 months time"

[whiteball]

..........

[Mrbean76]

I got mugged today.

He pointed a knife at me and said , " Your money or your life ? "

I told him I was married so I didn't have money or a life .

He gave me a hug and we cried together, it was beautiful.....