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Thread: Should've stayed in bed :-(

  1. #1
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    Default Should've stayed in bed :-(

    Trying to be thrifty rather then fucking furious

    Is it just my luck, or are the Australian men all pain in asses? Everytime I see an Australian man, there is a limp dick or some other kind of issue.

    They seem so jolly on the phone, and in fact jolly in the session too, but it makes me hate them even more when they are jolly jolly while doing the things that piss me off, staying jolly all the while. The jolly pain in the ass jolly jerk...

    So this one says he is coming from work on his little work break. OK no problem. Well, he shows up in work clothes. Work clothes being he is some difficult word to pronounce, but basically it is the assistant in operating room who watches the heart during open heart surgery. And he is wearing his surgery clothes here?? The bottom of those blue pants had stains on them the color of watery dried blood! It was disgusting! He came into my DISCREET incall being so INDISCREET it was shocking! I was so fucking shocked when he walked in, that I backed up and hit the refrigerator so hard it knocked all my glass jars down on the floor. They were full of herbs and herbs flew all over the place! I couldnt stop and clean up, and had saffron in my high heels thru the appointment!
    He stayed jolly jolly and said, "O thats a pain when things like that happen"..... all jolly i wanted to kill him for being so jolly. So, the mint and rosemary and those herbs I wont cry over, but I had bought $500 worth of beautiful saffron and all that I had to pick up off the floor.

    So its all in a cup. and I dont want to throw it away. Im trying to control my anger here and think of maybe some thrifty things I could do with all this saffron. Maybe some beauty treatments or whatever...

    Any ideas?

    Spilling Saffron is a sin! I must manage a way to save it and be thrifty with it. Any thrifty ideas?
    Last edited by DollyDarling; 13-05-09 at 22:04.

  2. #2
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    Hey Dolly,
    It is just not happening for you this week, maybe you should just go away for the weekend and start fresh next week, how is your head feeling now regarding the saffron think you should roll it with some grass and smoke it, that would finish your week on a high, by the way did the aussie (corony guy) pay you in organs or with dollars,

  3. #3
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    Maybe I could buy tiny sealable bags and put a little saffron in each one and give them to clients as gifts. They may find a few cat hairs in it, but since its the same long thready texture as saffron, they may not notice. And the clients will think Im such a classy sweetheart giving them saffron as a lover's token

  4. #4
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    Yeah he gave me dollars. But I sprayed it down with some disinfectant before touching it. Im scrubbing the apartment at the moment. I cant believe he came here with his dirty surgery clothes. And O so jolly about everthing. Fucking Aussie Idiot. Im really starting to think the only country with any cop-on is Ireland.

  5. #5
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    Dolly, you should start keeping a diary of these crazy incalls that happen to you.

    Then write a book.

    Then go on Oprah.

    Then get minted.

    But start by writing the book

  6. #6
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    Default Hey Dolly

    You appear to be wrapped up in that turban, maybe he bringing off in his magic carpet, donr forget to give him some saffron when he is leaving

  7. #7
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    A self conscious Muslim?

    wtf!!!

    So he walks in and on his head, this big coiled black thing reaching for the stars
    and he asks me "are you ok with me?"
    Well, he hadnt worn a surgery outfit with bloodstains (like the last guy) and he hadn't knocked all my herbs on the floor...yet
    So I had no bone to pick with him... yet
    So I said very sweetly of course Im ok with you.
    He took a shower. good news
    Then he wanted my ass a couple seconds
    but the whole time I kept my eyes on that white lacey thing on his head...
    Seems he wrapped up all that hair in a dainty white lacey cloth with a tie around it
    So no hair fell down on me thank goodness!
    Ok, so he is all done and gets dressed then asks me:
    "what do you think of me? Am I attractive?"
    Well, Dolly, darlings, is known for being upfront and as some here say.... "NOT TWO FACED"
    so I was as polite as possible when I told the truth:
    "From what I can see of your face, you are attractive."
    "With the turban it hides alot of your face. And the big beard does too. But you have nice eyes and a nice nose"

    That cheered him up and he strutted out my building feeling the most confident Muslim in NYC

  8. #8
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    If he had long hair wrapped up in a white turban, then he was most likely a Sikh, not a Muslim. They're often confused with each other. I was saw one walk down a street near me with a t-shirt on it that said, in big white-on-black latters:

    DON'T WORRY. I'M A SIKH.

    Pure mule

  9. #9
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    He had a black turban
    Then when he took off his underwear he also took off his black turban
    And then under it was a white lacey cloth holding his hair in a wee bun

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