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Thread: advice?

  1. #1

    Default advice?

    I know this subject will have been discussed here before, so please indulge me. I wondered if any clients have ever fallen in love with a girl they visit? Have any ladies had experience of this happening to them?

    I have to apologise for the length of this post, but I need to write about this because it's driving me insane. To be blunt, I'm a fool. I'm married, I have kids, and I've allowed myself to fall for a lovely thai girl who just makes me want her more each time I see her. I know there will be different points of view on this, I know I'll hear some things I maybe don't want to hear, but I'd really like some practical advice too on how I could get myself out of this situation. I'm feeling so much pain right now, and I (sort of) know within myself what I should do - not looking for sympathy (ok, maybe some understanding) because this is something I got myself into, I'm an adult, and I should have seen it coming.

    To start at the beginning. I've been visiting ladies for maybe 5 or 6 years. Why? I'm married, why the hell do I need to do that? Well I know there are lots of married men who do this, for various reasons, but I suppose I just needed a bit of excitement, I have needs that are not being met at home, but that's something I need to work on - I love my family and would never leave my wife. I've had good experiences and some bad, like most clients. When it's been good, it's been amazing, and I've been to see some girls as a "regular" for a number of years - however, I've always been aware of the the fact that girls who are in this profession are in it for a number of reasons, but it's primarily about making money in as short a space of time as possible - like any other business I suppose. There is also the important division between a girl's private life and her professional persona if that's the right word. I know that clients visiting a professional escort or working girl are buying in to an illusion - speaking for myself, it's best not to think about the fact that you're just another customer, and her smiles and laughter are seen by other men too, you're not special or unique, no matter what your ego may like to tell you. With the right girl, it's a nice experience for as long as it lasts, then you go home and forget about it until it's time to visit her again in a month ot 2 months time.

    I've visited various flats over the years, most of them run by someone I've known for as long as I've been visiting girls, and she introduced me only a few months ago to a Thai girl called Angel - not her real name, but she is an angel! We got talking and really hit it off, Angel is very sweet and friendly, very confident and outgoing. I came back to seee her the following week, and she gave me her personal phone number. I called her a number of times and we arranged to meet at a hotel. I paid for the hotel, she charged me 100 and stayed with me nearly the whole day. We drank champagne, ate chocolates, had sex, and talked. I found out all about her family, her background, her real Thai name, it was like being with a girlfriend, she smiled and we kissed, we cuddled, and got on really well. She told me she was doing this only to pay off her debt, which she's built up after breaking up with her husband. She also has kids to support and lives by herself. She told me she likes me and enjoys my company, which is why she only takes 100 for our hotel visits. This has happened twice and I'm due to see her again next month. I know where she lives, she lets me pick her up from her house, and we call each other regularly.

    I've said to her that I think about her a lot, and have developed feelings for her. I know these feelings are only based on being with her for a short time, and saying I'm in love might be too strong, but I certainly have a terrible crush on her, and feel myself falling more deeply for her every time I see her. Sometimes I meet with her just for a coffee. She always looks amazing, petite, golden skinned, with a smile that just melts me. Even her real name is like exotic poetry to me, her eyes, her sweet little toes, her lips, the way she smells, everything about her I adore.

    And how do I feel about this? Happy? No, quite the opposite. I'm really miserable because I just can't cope with the simple fact that she sees other guys. I know it's just what she does to earn a living, even if she says she won't be doing it forever. Last time I met with her she was travelling the following day a hundred miles to stay with someone who owns a flat and she'll be there for a couple of weeks. And this is killing me. I was so depressed that she was leaving - leaving to go and service other men - that I stayed off work that day and just couldn't function.

    I'm trying to work out in my head what it is that I want. "My cake and eat it" is one answer, I know, but I'm not sure really - Angel doesn't want me to fall for her, she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. I think she's happy to continue seeing me but I need to treat her almost like a "mistress", where my wife gets at least half of my attention and effort and I see Angel when I can.

    So, I have two options as far as I can see (tell me if I'm wrong): break it off and don't see her again in order to protect myself from any further pain, or continue to see her when I can, enjoy her company, and just get used to the fact that she does what she does, and I'm not special - she likes me, but that's it. When I asked her if I could see her after she's given all this up she said "we'll see", which I took as a "no". I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I'm not the first to get into this situation, but I needed to share this as I can't talk to anyone about it. If you've read this far, well done(!) and I'd like to hear any comments people may have. Bracing myself...

  2. #2
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    I thought it was one of QPHs posts there for a minute

    Seriously though your in a situation that's a no win one for you. Your family should come first. It's not worth risking it all and then be left with nothing. By the sounds of your post it's you that has feelings for her more than she has for you. As you said if she would see you after she finishes escorting she said we'll see. She's giving you more attention than any escort you've known before. It may be that's the way she is with a few clients. How do you know your not the only one who gets the reduced rates and extra time. She may also tell them things about herself and make them feel special. I've met a few escorts who have told me their real name and things about them.Your making a big mistake falling for her. She's an escort and a very good one by the sounds of it. The very good escorts make you feel special and it's easy to fall into trap of developing feelings for them.But you should just see it for what it is and enjoy it. An occasional visit to an escort you enjoy spending time with. It's not worth risking losing your family over this.

  3. #3
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    Default Not one mention of your kids

    Quote Originally Posted by princecharming View Post
    I know this subject will have been discussed here before, so please indulge me. I wondered if any clients have ever fallen in love with a girl they visit? Have any ladies had experience of this happening to them?

    I have to apologise for the length of this post, but I need to write about this because it's driving me insane. To be blunt, I'm a fool. I'm married, I have kids, and I've allowed myself to fall for a lovely thai girl who just makes me want her more each time I see her. I know there will be different points of view on this, I know I'll hear some things I maybe don't want to hear, but I'd really like some practical advice too on how I could get myself out of this situation. I'm feeling so much pain right now, and I (sort of) know within myself what I should do - not looking for sympathy (ok, maybe some understanding) because this is something I got myself into, I'm an adult, and I should have seen it coming.

    To start at the beginning. I've been visiting ladies for maybe 5 or 6 years. Why? I'm married, why the hell do I need to do that? Well I know there are lots of married men who do this, for various reasons, but I suppose I just needed a bit of excitement, I have needs that are not being met at home, but that's something I need to work on - I love my family and would never leave my wife. I've had good experiences and some bad, like most clients. When it's been good, it's been amazing, and I've been to see some girls as a "regular" for a number of years - however, I've always been aware of the the fact that girls who are in this profession are in it for a number of reasons, but it's primarily about making money in as short a space of time as possible - like any other business I suppose. There is also the important division between a girl's private life and her professional persona if that's the right word. I know that clients visiting a professional escort or working girl are buying in to an illusion - speaking for myself, it's best not to think about the fact that you're just another customer, and her smiles and laughter are seen by other men too, you're not special or unique, no matter what your ego may like to tell you. With the right girl, it's a nice experience for as long as it lasts, then you go home and forget about it until it's time to visit her again in a month ot 2 months time.

    I've visited various flats over the years, most of them run by someone I've known for as long as I've been visiting girls, and she introduced me only a few months ago to a Thai girl called Angel - not her real name, but she is an angel! We got talking and really hit it off, Angel is very sweet and friendly, very confident and outgoing. I came back to seee her the following week, and she gave me her personal phone number. I called her a number of times and we arranged to meet at a hotel. I paid for the hotel, she charged me 100 and stayed with me nearly the whole day. We drank champagne, ate chocolates, had sex, and talked. I found out all about her family, her background, her real Thai name, it was like being with a girlfriend, she smiled and we kissed, we cuddled, and got on really well. She told me she was doing this only to pay off her debt, which she's built up after breaking up with her husband. She also has kids to support and lives by herself. She told me she likes me and enjoys my company, which is why she only takes 100 for our hotel visits. This has happened twice and I'm due to see her again next month. I know where she lives, she lets me pick her up from her house, and we call each other regularly.

    I've said to her that I think about her a lot, and have developed feelings for her. I know these feelings are only based on being with her for a short time, and saying I'm in love might be too strong, but I certainly have a terrible crush on her, and feel myself falling more deeply for her every time I see her. Sometimes I meet with her just for a coffee. She always looks amazing, petite, golden skinned, with a smile that just melts me. Even her real name is like exotic poetry to me, her eyes, her sweet little toes, her lips, the way she smells, everything about her I adore.

    And how do I feel about this? Happy? No, quite the opposite. I'm really miserable because I just can't cope with the simple fact that she sees other guys. I know it's just what she does to earn a living, even if she says she won't be doing it forever. Last time I met with her she was travelling the following day a hundred miles to stay with someone who owns a flat and she'll be there for a couple of weeks. And this is killing me. I was so depressed that she was leaving - leaving to go and service other men - that I stayed off work that day and just couldn't function.

    I'm trying to work out in my head what it is that I want. "My cake and eat it" is one answer, I know, but I'm not sure really - Angel doesn't want me to fall for her, she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. I think she's happy to continue seeing me but I need to treat her almost like a "mistress", where my wife gets at least half of my attention and effort and I see Angel when I can.

    So, I have two options as far as I can see (tell me if I'm wrong): break it off and don't see her again in order to protect myself from any further pain, or continue to see her when I can, enjoy her company, and just get used to the fact that she does what she does, and I'm not special - she likes me, but that's it. When I asked her if I could see her after she's given all this up she said "we'll see", which I took as a "no". I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I'm not the first to get into this situation, but I needed to share this as I can't talk to anyone about it. If you've read this far, well done(!) and I'd like to hear any comments people may have. Bracing myself...

    I paid for the hotel, she charged me 100

    This is a funny relationship.Sorry but when someone is really in love with someone they wont charge a cent.Its still a buisness transaction.

    By the way,you dont feel any different to the way your wife would feel or the way your kids would feel when they wonder why mam and dad are never with them anymore.

    Todays tides are in the Irish Examiner,
    Westside.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy Singh View Post
    I paid for the hotel, she charged me 100

    This is a funny relationship.Sorry but when someone is really in love with someone they wont charge a cent.Its still a buisness transaction.

    .
    Yeah that's what I thought as well.

    If she is still charging you even if it is a reduced rate you are still in a punter/escort relationship.
    Its the Crips and the Bloods all over again

  5. #5
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    Exclamation thats life

    i think as you've said you get off on the excitement, i think you've got some idea of a highflying life with your thai friend by your side.

    life doesnt work that

    you make a decision you should stand by it

    i'd imagine your kids are worth it.

    At the end of it and a decision is made maybe not for the better, who would pay for your current family and your thai friend

    mid life crisis?

  6. #6
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    Yes I was thinking that too if your getting a reduced rate your still a punter escort relationship. I think she just sees you as a client. Maybe one of her favourite ones but still a client.

  7. #7
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    Default What to do?

    You said it yourself:
    Quote Originally Posted by princecharming View Post
    I (sort of) know within myself what I should do
    Now, knowing what to do and having the strength to do it are two different things. I do feel really sorry for you. And her. And your wife and kids. And her kids. But this whole relationship is a train wreck waiting to happen, and the sooner you get out of it the better for all concerned. I think, at least I hope, that you've more or less worked up the courage to do that, and that this post is meant to give you the final push. If so then I hope it works.

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    Thumbs up huny i dont get it!!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Stewie View Post
    Yeah that's what I thought as well.

    If she is still charging you even if it is a reduced rate you are still in a punter/escort relationship.

    huny i dont get it

    WHAT YOU,RE SAYING HERE
    YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND

    AND YOU REFUSE TO SAY
    WHAT YOU DO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!
    Who ? who ? who? whose hand cuts the rose?
    who cuts bird,s wing?
    who tears away the ligjt of the day? the universe is infinite yet!!
    man dont see a thing!!! all they need some one to pamper him provoke him, let him simmer, in low heat, ah ah ah ah ohhhhhhhhhhh

    i like what you say but would like you enjoy your day as i do every day

    YouTube - Egyptian dancer - tabla solo

  9. #9
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    Firstly I tend to agree with the lads.
    If there is still cash involved then it is a punter escort relationship.

    However there may an exception to the rule couple of years ago my friend drove around Thailand and went on a shagging fest. A lot of the girls he met in his travels wanted some money, let me stress these were not escorts, hookers or similar. But normal girls with normal jobs. Obviously the Thais have a different approach to sex and noney that we have in or more Christian western society.

    But back to your problem in hand.

    If you were to fall for this girl and it sounds like you are already. it can only end in tears for you. If the missus finds out that you are seeing an escort you are fucked.

    How better will your life be if you emd up in some dingy bedsit paying maintenance without 2 cents to rub together will Angel be around then ?

    Your fate is in your hands.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stewie View Post
    Yeah that's what I thought as well.

    If she is still charging you even if it is a reduced rate you are still in a punter/escort relationship.
    And you would know all about tht wouldnt u cal

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