Went to see an escort before. I won't name names here and not for her sake - for mine.
English and directions were fine and I found her place handy enough. Had some misgivings, as she had no face pics, the price was low enough and she did anal for no extra charge.
Walked into the apartment and turned around wishing I had brought my glasses, as it was dimly lit. I offered the 70e and confirmed that anal was included. She left the room briefly and I undressed.
She then proceeded to give me oral. She said something that I did not hear, so she turned her head and repeated it. It was then I saw that she was missing teeth and was nearly double the thirty-something she claimed. We're talking Kingpin "Pump n Dump" scene here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zIDgPVg9HM
As she noshed down, I considered the chances of getting my 70e back, if I got up to leave. I checked Betfair* and my odds were down around the 100,000/1 category. Given this, I decided to plough on, so t'speak.
I stood up as she struggled with the condom wrapper, the full glory of her wizened body was laid bare. She got the condom on and turned over. I moved in for the kill and then the smell hit me. Fucking hell. It was rank. I considered my chances of holding my breath for the duration. I checked Betfair* and my odds were not good. In the meantime, Mr Flopsy had decided to go hibernate. He wanted none of it.
She kind of laughed and tried to blow me hard again. She was suggesting that I did not like condoms and that this was the cause of my downfall, so t'speak. Eventually, she took off the condom and I think, was intimating consummating the relationship sans lettre. Not in this lifetime love. I lay back down, got my phone and watched porn, while she blew me to a finish.
I quickly got up and as I was dressing, she asked me to leave a review!!!! Jesus! No-one will ever know your name love, in the context of my username. Never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never.
Never.
*I didn't.