If we use escorts does that mean we do not love our wives or girlfriends?

[rover]

it is black and white though, you cheat, you brag about it you review your conquest. The question asked is whether or not one can love their wife if they do this and the simple answer to me is no. It is a marriage breaker, i know a few women whose husbands have cheated with escorts and trust me i am not the only one who has reacted like this. I know one man whose wife left him with nothing absolutely nothing. You see the problem is that the men here think they can have both: the loving wife and the "stunning" (ahem) escort, they underestimate the pain that this causes, they expect the wife to be docile and just accept it.
I have read Rovers posts with interest and to me there is a made with a internal struggle and someone who may be better off Googling SLAA. I began punting only when i knew my marriage was dead, my kids were small so i couldn't leave. I have needs too, most men here seem to see their wives in the Madonna/Whore image, but i want the lovely South American young boys with big c**ks who is tanned and knows little English. My husband is the polar opposite to that and i don't think i could get turned on if i wanted so i buy it. It is wrong, but that is because it is exploitative.
Would any man here like knowing that while he is at home wanking over porn that his wife is having the best sex of her life? I don't think so and ergo the double standards are huge.
m

Sorry for your situation BH, I know it's a sad and desperate situation when life goes in that direction, I wish you well.
As you say I will get sussed at home one day soon, I mean how can anybody be on the computer that long when the laser printer hasn't fired once. The other members will be pleased to know that my wife will be back tomorrow, so I'll be back to my normal 4 or 5 posts per week. By the way BF, what's SLLA.
I have a beautiful wife, who is a loving person, a good mother, I'm gambling with an aweful lot, I've a lot to lose, but this compulsion is so hard to control, I just can't resist it,
as I said earlier I've stepped over the line now and betrayed her trust. The only way to do anything about that would be to come totally clean with her and face the consequences, you never know, there's a possibility she may forgive you, but I just haven't got the guts to do that at the moment, or is that really interpreted as I don't want to just yet.
But as I say, I wish you well with you're own situation, thank you for helping.

[silo]

yes and no highway. mayebe his wife/partner has lost interest in sex and he actualy dosnt want to have an affair in the proper sense so he uses an escort to see to his needs and not have an emotional attachment with the escort in which he might with another thord party.

Im sure many of the men here who are either married or in a relationship love their wives but see escorts for a variety of reasons. maybe they like the exicitment maybe their wives dont hit the right buttons anymore because their marraige has become routine.

who knows. but it does not mean they do not love thier wive.

This is my reason, now tell me yours:

My marriage is very healthy, I adore my wife, she is beautiful and a lovely person too but since I go to escorts I do question myself, going to escorts have made me discover more about myself, actually has help my marriage in a way, I am much better in bed with my wife, she loves it more now, because I am more dirty it makes her more horny, lets just say I was a nerd in bed at the start ten years ago.
Anyway, It has help me in another way to save my marriage, before even my first visit to escorts, I was tempted by other girls, I can say I am an attrative man and girls do throw themselves at me, one I was working with could have turned into an affair, that type of an affair would include intimacy, and love, and then lead to a messy relationship between two partners.
In that case it would be worst, I would eventually have to choose between two is I fell in love with the mistress.
The good thing about escorts is its just sex, thats it, now I would never consider leaving my wife for a more stunning girl! that would be just lust! and to satisfy my lust I can just go to escorts with no strings.

Why do I need to go?:
Before we ever had partners, especially in ours teens, this is our ultimate sexual fantasy, to have sex with that curvy blue eye playboy model pornstar blonde/brunnete.
I only have one life and I want to try it!, unfortunately easy escorting only appeared after I got married, I know I am sinning but its hard to be a perfect human being!

A simplified explanation:

your dream car is a Merc SLK, you say to yourself now that you will be satisfied when you have one. you finally have one and is happy in love with it, but there is a new race track for testing out sports performance cars 150/30mins, if you are a man you will be tempted to go and enjoy the adrenaline rush.

[experienced punter]

in a marriage or relationship the couple get sick of riding each other & look elsewhere or is it just me

[rover]

in a marriage or relationship the couple get sick of riding each other & look elsewhere or is it just me

Yes, but if two people really love and care about each other, sex might not be their biggest priority. Sometimes men are inclined to put their Willy first.

[silo]

We just cant eat steak every day, variety is the spice of life!


seriously though, now imaging this hard, Monday to Sunday, steak and chips for dinner every day, and then try this for a year, and then try this for another twenty years, how will you feel mentally?

[TheNads]

Marriage by it's monogomous nature is either something one agrees to because of religious beliefs or it's a woman made notion to give security.
Men are genetically programmed to want to procreate with as many women as possible. We are made to spread our seed.
Women are genetically programmed to find a man to provide offspring & security. Case in point is how often we see ugly, wealthy men with beautiful wives.
So, whose idea was monogomy ? It suits women moreso than men.
Obviously the lines have become blurred recently with women having financial independence etc. But right back to the origins of our species this was the case.
Hence, most commonly the 1st born will have a resemblance to the man. This is natures mechanism to try & make sure the man will stick around & provides for the offspring.
As humans we are blessed with the ability to make decisions that are not governed solely by our most basic instincts to eat, sleep & procreate as often as possible. Most animals are this basic & it's what marks us apart.
I am not saying that marriage is a bad deal for men but I am saying that it puts more pressure on them to adhere to the principals of having a sole, life-partner.
Marriage is a good idea for society as we know it. The family unit provides the security & conditions to raise children well but we are still programmed to want to shag half the women who cross our path.

[silo]

Marriage by it's monogomous nature is either something one agrees to because of religious beliefs or it's a woman made notion to give security.
Men are genetically programmed to want to procreate with as many women as possible. We are made to spread our seed.
Women are genetically programmed to find a man to provide offspring & security. Case in point is how often we see ugly, wealthy men with beautiful wives.
So, whose idea was monogomy ? It suits women moreso than men.
Obviously the lines have become blurred recently with women having financial independence etc. But right back to the origins of our species this was the case.
Hence, most commonly the 1st born will have a resemblance to the man. This is natures mechanism to try & make sure the man will stick around & provides for the offspring.
As humans we are blessed with the ability to make decisions that are not governed solely by our most basic instincts to eat, sleep & procreate as often as possible. Most animals are this basic & it's what marks us apart.
I am not saying that marriage is a bad deal for men but I am saying that it puts more pressure on them to adhere to the principals of having a sole, life-partner.
Marriage is a good idea for society as we know it. The family unit provides the security & conditions to raise children well but we are still programmed to want to shag half the women who cross our path.

Well said, its human nature.
Wasnt Adam and Eves siblings shagging each other, those days everyone was shagging everyone until one day God thought population needs to be put in order so he sent Moses to right the Ten Commandments "thou shall not commit adultry"

[wiseone]

Nice to read some lads calling it!

Women have about a decade to secure one man to fullfill their need for a man/marraige (a legal contract).
Friends, family and media, un/conciously pressurise them so. Also, despite loving older women when
i were younger, I now only appreciate fit puss!

I look good, have gained some asset and have never felt more confident. I find the social scene to be flooded in booze,
something i have never appreciated. If I lived in dublin, I would have more faith in online dating.

Perhaps as a lashback from the oppression of the church, Irish women have gone OTT in their stance,
expectations and defensiveness in dealings with males.

The future? Move to Spain and find a girl with neutral feelings toward men...

w

[anitasizzle]

Thanks for clarifying things for me, I alwas thought the Irish social scene to be a bit odd-to me Irish men and women seem to HATE EACH OTHER

And the drinking in order to have self-esteem, to approach people was A REAL TURN OFF. As well as the dress-code Irish women wear to snag a men was and is GROSS-you'd think they were ''ON THE GAME''

[MeathMan]

Thanks for clarifying things for me, I alwas thought the Irish social scene to be a bit odd-to me Irish men and women seem to HATE EACH OTHER

And the drinking in order to have self-esteem, to approach people was A REAL TURN OFF. As well as the dress-code Irish women wear to snag a men was and is GROSS-you'd think they were ''ON THE GAME''

Why are you in Ireland? I do hope this question is not too personal.