If we use escorts does that mean we do not love our wives or girlfriends?

[TheNads]

You sound like the sort of woman I'm glad I've never known.
How about confronting your husband ? Tell him everything you said here. See how he handles all that. It sounds to me like you have drawn a line through your marriage a long time ago & the escorting thing is a convenient reason to end it all, take it all & shame him.
You once must have loved him & now you obviously hate him. Do you hate him enough to really do all that to him ?
Maybe you should look at why you think he started seeing escorts ? In my experience no marriage ends with 100% of the blame on anyones shoulders.
Your black & white logic is scary. Have a good look inwardly & ask yourself how you have contributed to your marriage being where it is.

[bored housewife]

it is black and white though, you cheat, you brag about it you review your conquest. The question asked is whether or not one can love their wife if they do this and the simple answer to me is no. It is a marriage breaker, i know a few women whose husbands have cheated with escorts and trust me i am not the only one who has reacted like this. I know one man whose wife left him with nothing absolutely nothing. You see the problem is that the men here think they can have both: the loving wife and the "stunning" (ahem) escort, they underestimate the pain that this causes, they expect the wife to be docile and just accept it.
I have read Rovers posts with interest and to me there is a made with a internal struggle and someone who may be better off Googling SLAA. I began punting only when i knew my marriage was dead, my kids were small so i couldn't leave. I have needs too, most men here seem to see their wives in the Madonna/Whore image, but i want the lovely South American young boys with big c**ks who is tanned and knows little English. My husband is the polar opposite to that and i don't think i could get turned on if i wanted so i buy it. It is wrong, but that is because it is exploitative.
Would any man here like knowing that while he is at home wanking over porn that his wife is having the best sex of her life? I don't think so and ergo the double standards are huge.
m

[rover]

it is black and white though, you cheat, you brag about it you review your conquest. The question asked is whether or not one can love their wife if they do this and the simple answer to me is no. It is a marriage breaker, i know a few women whose husbands have cheated with escorts and trust me i am not the only one who has reacted like this. I know one man whose wife left him with nothing absolutely nothing. You see the problem is that the men here think they can have both: the loving wife and the "stunning" (ahem) escort, they underestimate the pain that this causes, they expect the wife to be docile and just accept it.
I have read Rovers posts with interest and to me there is a made with a internal struggle and someone who may be better off Googling SLAA. I began punting only when i knew my marriage was dead, my kids were small so i couldn't leave. I have needs too, most men here seem to see their wives in the Madonna/Whore image, but i want the lovely South American young boys with big c**ks who is tanned and knows little English. My husband is the polar opposite to that and i don't think i could get turned on if i wanted so i buy it. It is wrong, but that is because it is exploitative.
Would any man here like knowing that while he is at home wanking over porn that his wife is having the best sex of her life? I don't think so and ergo the double standards are huge.
m

Sorry for your situation BH, I know it's a sad and desperate situation when life goes in that direction, I wish you well.
As you say I will get sussed at home one day soon, I mean how can anybody be on the computer that long when the laser printer hasn't fired once. The other members will be pleased to know that my wife will be back tomorrow, so I'll be back to my normal 4 or 5 posts per week. By the way BF, what's SLLA.
I have a beautiful wife, who is a loving person, a good mother, I'm gambling with an aweful lot, I've a lot to lose, but this compulsion is so hard to control, I just can't resist it,
as I said earlier I've stepped over the line now and betrayed her trust. The only way to do anything about that would be to come totally clean with her and face the consequences, you never know, there's a possibility she may forgive you, but I just haven't got the guts to do that at the moment, or is that really interpreted as I don't want to just yet.
But as I say, I wish you well with you're own situation, thank you for helping.

[Tommy Singh]

You sound like the sort of woman I'm glad I've never known.
How about confronting your husband ? Tell him everything you said here. See how he handles all that. It sounds to me like you have drawn a line through your marriage a long time ago & the escorting thing is a convenient reason to end it all, take it all & shame him.
You once must have loved him & now you obviously hate him. Do you hate him enough to really do all that to him ?
Maybe you should look at why you think he started seeing escorts ? In my experience no marriage ends with 100% of the blame on anyones shoulders.
Your black & white logic is scary. Have a good look inwardly & ask yourself how you have contributed to your marriage being where it is.

Why because she stands up for herself?Funny thing.If a guy cheats on a woman he is apparently some sort of hero but if a women cheats on a guy she is apparently some sort of slut.

Sorry but if i were a woman and the mother of kids i would mangle the head off my partner if he saw escorts.The cost alone ,which could have being used on the kids would justify it.

True a marraige doesnt end with 100% blame on an any party but so does reconciliation take both parties.If you have a problem with a marraige you talk to the partner not go and see an escort.?I think far too much blame is put on women for being ,a bitch or nasty or restricitve or in case i forget she doesnt do anal.Seriously if all that troubled me was whetehr a partner did or didnt do something like anal then i would end my life right now.

I think these reasons or so called issues that guys mention as being the reason to see escorts are just excuses to make the guys own mind feel better and justified.

I am single and i have lost touch with quite a few guys i know ,not through anyones fault but they got married and had kids etc.I am not married nor have i kids and i wont do either until im 100% certain that i can be the best husband ,father i can be.Its difficult at times but its also good at times.What i dont do is fuck up another persons life to suit my wants and needs and certainly not cause children the trauma of seing their parents splitting ,just because she doesnt do anal or some other sort of bs.

If you have a partner and have children then you have responsablities to those kids and that partner and fuckin up the family is defo not on that line of responsability.

Westside.

[TheNads]

I largely agree with Bored Housewife, QPH & Westie but as I know a bit about conflict resolution etc. I was just seeing what she had to say for herself.
I must insist though that there is never 100% blame attributable anywhere. The dynamics in every single marriage are different & can be influenced by so many factors that there is no 1 size fits all solution.
This scenario doesn't effect me but I often wonder at the motives of our married brethern & at their domestic situations. To Bored Housewife I'd only advise that you be very careful to limit the impact on your children. Your feelings come 2nd to theirs.