Press Release: Product Launch - Dollycum
BOTTLED DOLLYCUM RELEASED WORLDWIDE
The Day of the Pine Fresh Butt Plug Is Over
New York City, NY - Just in time for the St. Patrick's Day festival comes the worldwide simultaneous release of a new pheromone stimulator guaranteed to put the "GAAAAAHHH!" back into your orgasm.
Harvested from the quim of that world-famous squirtaholic Dolly Darling and bottled at source, this amazing tonic is used for a wide variety of day-to-day tasks; from scouring industrial ovens to repairing split ends. Carefully extracted by trained technicians wearing the latest in wetsuit protection that includes a full-face diving helmet and a miner's lamp, bottled Dollycum is now available to the public in a stylish, attractive bottle.
Celebrities have been queueing up to endorse this new product.
"Gave me an extra two inches, and by Christ do I need them..." - Tom Cruise
"Me too!" - Bono
"Drink! Arse! Feck! Dollycum!" - Father Jack
"My butt-plugs are royally fucked now..." - Carlos Marvado
"Quit yo jibba-jabba! Git sum Dollycum!" - Mr. T
"I hate that bitch. She can cum buckets and she's prettier than me." - Brad Pitt
Dollycum is organic, fat-free, protein-rich, rust-proof, free from artificial colours and preservatives, low-calorie, and does not require refrigeration. Spray on your cock and balls for that extra sensitive wank, or discreetly spray near your female partner to have her suddenly vocalise her desire for threesomes. Stimulate pheromones and more today with new Dollycum!
Dollycum is a trademark belonging to Dolly Darling. All rights reserved. Favourite football team - Spurting Lesbian.
what does it taste like???
yum yum dollys cum
Donald Trump just called me!!!!
He bought a bottle of DollyCum and put it in his hair, and says he doesnt have to comb it over anymore! DollyCum is helping his hair grow! He wants to market DollyCum like crazy. He mentioned he has a scientist working for him who invented a way to clone things. I guess the scientist already cloned a sheep (ironically naming it "Dolly") so he thinks he can clone me so he'll be able to make DollyCum for an international market!
I'm pretty excited with this offer. I realize that even if Donald's scientist clones me, the cloned DollyCum will never be as pure and genuine as the original DollyCum, but I do care about mankind, and want to give this special all-purpose product for their betterment.
I'm seriously considering doing the deal. In the meantime, while I'm pondering DollyCum's future, please do keep ordering from my distributer Mousey. He does have plenty in stock and ready for shipping in a discrete brown box.
Too true mouse. The gloss has cum off the pine fresh butt plugs.
However, I will be launching a new product specially for the ladies on St. Patrick's Day. This one is guaranteed to be a winner with the ladies, particularly those that escort for a living.
Girls watch this space!!
Carlos, you if you are to be a competitor of DollyCum
You should start your own separate thread, and let DollyCum stand an Irish chance on this thread. I don't know what your new product is, but it may be compatible with DollyCum. DollyCum is an all purpose product, and you'd be surprised at all the helpful things it does. You should give DollyCum an Irish chance.
No worries Dolly, my product will not compete with DollyCum, in fact it could be considered to be complimentary and give you a financial edge in the marketplace.
I wont be anouncing details until Tuesday, but it will definitely increase your hold over the men.
I have tried it
Hay guys i have tried Dollycum from the source and let me tell you it does every thing it says on the tin. Its good for what ails you. Its better than viagra and spinage put .but then again i got it real fresh from the source. but i have no dout if mousey gets the bottling technique right (ps if you need some one to hold the bottle i am available) that it will be as good as i remember. I cant wait to be able to get it in the shops over here best of luck mouse.
You're bluffing, Marvado, you ain't got shee-yit.
c,mere, i,ll give it a chance on me farm. Not for anything perverted mind you, but i,ll have to try it to make sure its safe for my stallion and ram to use as a sex lube. anyway, how much will we smuggle into ireland?
Originally Posted by DollyDarling