Sex Workers

[Curvaceous Kate]

One of the things I have noticed about clients is that they come from all walks of life. It would be very hard to put them in a box and say they are this 'type' of person. Yet so often I find myself faced with clients who seem to have the opinion that Sex Workers have either always been Sex Workers or have had no other job of any worth in their life. They oddly don't seem to think we are qualified to do anything else or have had the drive to do anything else.

I'm not sure if this is due to the misconception that we do this job because we are not able to do anything else, or we have a habit that makes us incapable of doing anything else or what it is, but it does make me wonder.

I am also aware that some clients would rather not think of us beyond the connecting through a booking, but even they do have some pre-conceptions.

Having said that, I know that some clients have got close to sex workers and know of their previous life or their future plans. They will know that many sex workers either have already got a good level of education or will be in education.

One of the great things about sex work is that it is very accommodating for those that want to further their educational path and work towards a different career path. Many people are stuck in dead end jobs that don't give them enough time or money to ever better themselves. We can do that and we do.

Can we please abolish this thought that sex workers are not able or capable of doing any other job. The notion that 'once a sex worker, always a sex worker'. Not many people are defined by their job, so why are we?

One of the funniest conversations I've had with some of my clients recently is when I tell them that I will be retiring soon and they ask... 'What will you do for sex?' 'How will you cope?'

I'm not going to give the answer as I think it's pretty obvious. I'm monogamous by nature, so I just do what comes naturally.

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

[SteveB]

I don't have a stereotype. Didn't quite know what to expect on my first visit and still never know what to expect when the door opens. One of the great things about meeting an escort is how incredibly diverse and interesting some escorts are.

[ana massage]

One of the things I have noticed about clients is that they come from all walks of life. It would be very hard to put them in a box and say they are this 'type' of person. Yet so often I find myself faced with clients who seem to have the opinion that Sex Workers have either always been Sex Workers or have had no other job of any worth in their life. They oddly don't seem to think we are qualified to do anything else or have had the drive to do anything else.

I'm not sure if this is due to the misconception that we do this job because we are not able to do anything else, or we have a habit that makes us incapable of doing anything else or what it is, but it does make me wonder.

I am also aware that some clients would rather not think of us beyond the connecting through a booking, but even they do have some pre-conceptions.

Having said that, I know that some clients have got close to sex workers and know of their previous life or their future plans. They will know that many sex workers either have already got a good level of education or will be in education.

One of the great things about sex work is that it is very accommodating for those that want to further their educational path and work towards a different career path. Many people are stuck in dead end jobs that don't give them enough time or money to ever better themselves. We can do that and we do.

Can we please abolish this thought that sex workers are not able or capable of doing any other job. The notion that 'once a sex worker, always a sex worker'. Not many people are defined by their job, so why are we?

One of the funniest conversations I've had with some of my clients recently is when I tell them that I will be retiring soon and they ask... 'What will you do for sex?' 'How will you cope?'

I'm not going to give the answer as I think it's pretty obvious. I'm monogamous by nature, so I just do what comes naturally.

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

Same way Ruhama thinks. They can provide you with english course or massage or IT for basics (..the things that only people without any other background would need them) but they cannot provide anything for those that have had jobs before or finished college...

[gillyland]

One of the things I have noticed about clients is that they come from all walks of life. It would be very hard to put them in a box and say they are this 'type' of person. Yet so often I find myself faced with clients who seem to have the opinion that Sex Workers have either always been Sex Workers or have had no other job of any worth in their life. They oddly don't seem to think we are qualified to do anything else or have had the drive to do anything else.

I'm not sure if this is due to the misconception that we do this job because we are not able to do anything else, or we have a habit that makes us incapable of doing anything else or what it is, but it does make me wonder.

I am also aware that some clients would rather not think of us beyond the connecting through a booking, but even they do have some pre-conceptions.

Having said that, I know that some clients have got close to sex workers and know of their previous life or their future plans. They will know that many sex workers either have already got a good level of education or will be in education.

One of the great things about sex work is that it is very accommodating for those that want to further their educational path and work towards a different career path. Many people are stuck in dead end jobs that don't give them enough time or money to ever better themselves. We can do that and we do.

Can we please abolish this thought that sex workers are not able or capable of doing any other job. The notion that 'once a sex worker, always a sex worker'. Not many people are defined by their job, so why are we?

One of the funniest conversations I've had with some of my clients recently is when I tell them that I will be retiring soon and they ask... 'What will you do for sex?' 'How will you cope?'

I'm not going to give the answer as I think it's pretty obvious. I'm monogamous by nature, so I just do what comes naturally.

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

Nothing wrong with being a sex worker and alot of escorts are still embarrassed about what they do and its the old birds that are the worse with their old school beliefs.
Some escorts needs to fully accept it first themselves otherwise how do they expect the clients to
Its procvides a great living and freedom to do other things and if further education is part of that well its all great

[ana massage]

Nothing wrong with being a sex worker and alot of escorts are still embarrassed about what they do and its the old birds that are the worse with their old school beliefs.
Some escorts needs to fully accept it first themselves otherwise how do they expect the clients to
Its procvides a great living and freedom to do other things and if further education is part of that well its all great

I don't think it's about embarrassment,rather some are not strong enough facing the stigma out there. Even Ruhama admits you should not say that you are/were an escort,not to mention on yor CV
Same thing happened with gay people..they were not ashamed of who they were but scared of the people who will not understand and we all know how they were bullied etc

[gillyland]

I don't think it's about embarrassment,rather some are not strong enough facing the stigma out there. Even Ruhama admits you should not say that you are/were an escort,not to mention on yor CV
Same thing happened with gay people..they were not ashamed of who they were but scared of the people who will not understand and we all know how they were bullied etc

Met several old birds recently on another website that will only work here because back home in England theyre afraid of their friends and family finding out as never accepted it as a job, I told them they were decent ladies who work honesty for their money and got nothing to be ashamed about
Maybe these escorts should have started out as porn stars first

I find the younger girls are more brazen and dont care as much if at all as sex is just sex

[figgi]

One of the things I have noticed about clients is that they come from all walks of life. It would be very hard to put them in a box and say they are this 'type' of person. Yet so often I find myself faced with clients who seem to have the opinion that Sex Workers have either always been Sex Workers or have had no other job of any worth in their life. They oddly don't seem to think we are qualified to do anything else or have had the drive to do anything else.

I'm not sure if this is due to the misconception that we do this job because we are not able to do anything else, or we have a habit that makes us incapable of doing anything else or what it is, but it does make me wonder.

I am also aware that some clients would rather not think of us beyond the connecting through a booking, but even they do have some pre-conceptions.

Having said that, I know that some clients have got close to sex workers and know of their previous life or their future plans. They will know that many sex workers either have already got a good level of education or will be in education.

One of the great things about sex work is that it is very accommodating for those that want to further their educational path and work towards a different career path. Many people are stuck in dead end jobs that don't give them enough time or money to ever better themselves. We can do that and we do.

Can we please abolish this thought that sex workers are not able or capable of doing any other job. The notion that 'once a sex worker, always a sex worker'. Not many people are defined by their job, so why are we?

One of the funniest conversations I've had with some of my clients recently is when I tell them that I will be retiring soon and they ask... 'What will you do for sex?' 'How will you cope?'

I'm not going to give the answer as I think it's pretty obvious. I'm monogamous by nature, so I just do what comes naturally.

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

Why does it bother you? Why let it bother you? Honestly who cares what random johns think. I've done a number of random "low" jobs and been treated like shit. But hey I got to where I was going to. I wouldn't let it bother you. And plenty of students escort to help with fees.

[Curvaceous Kate]

Why does it bother you? Why let it bother you? Honestly who cares what random johns think. I've done a number of random "low" jobs and been treated like shit. But hey I got to where I was going to. I wouldn't let it bother you. And plenty of students escort to help with fees.

It's because the attitudes are here on the forum. I can talk with the guys that I meet one to one and they are able to look at things differently and people do change their opinion. However, when it is talked about on here so often without any thought, it does bother me as people read what is said and either agree without any first hand knowledge and think it is the truth (after all you are clients so you should know), or they look at it as misogynistic.

I know the majority of my clients respect me for the person I am and not just the service I provide, but that message rarely seems to get conveyed on here. It reflects badly on everyone when things are not balanced.

[collinsp]

at goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

Hi Kate, this is a really interesting question. I think a lot of people (me included) would have had our preconceptions coloured by what we've seen in movies. The stereotype wasn't so much that sex workers wouldn't have the drive or ability to do anything else. Moreso, they have arrived at a point in their lives where there is little other option available to them to make ends meet. Be it through circumstances (addiction, poverty, etc), or whatever, it was never portrayed that sex work was something that someone would ever willingly enter into by choice.

I think Kate (from this parish) and Laura Lee, both through their campaigning for SW rights, and their public profiles (particularly Kate, as its so close to home for us here in Ireland), have educated people a lot more.

Now it is quite apparent that quite a lot of SWs are in the industry purely by choice, and its great that this fact is becoming more and more well known. The recent RTE documentary purported to show the arguments from both sides. One one side was Kate, campaigning like a trooper a she always does, and on the other was someone (who's name escapes me) who felt forced into sex work and it was a completely negative and destructive experience for her. Of course we have to be respectful and sensitive to those who are victims.

But, there are so many facets of society and of life in general that are open to abuse.

Personally, I am pleased that the media are starting to take some bit of an interest in the trade, and are willing to give a voice to Kate and others. And, it is also good that forums such as this, exist, as we can hear directly from people such as yourself how things are from your experience.

The fight against trafficking needs to be a priority for the authorities. For one, to ensure that abhorrent practice claims no more victims. For two, to remove any doubt in the mind of people wishing to avail of the services of a SWer.

In short though, now my preconceptions of SWers have changed hugely. It ranges from people of all ages wishing for a bit of extra cash, to those who simply enjoy promiscuity (any why not cash in on that?), to students who want to ease their financial burden, to those who are willing and happy to do it for a living.

[Curvaceous Kate]

Hi Kate, this is a really interesting question. I think a lot of people (me included) would have had our preconceptions coloured by what we've seen in movies. The stereotype wasn't so much that sex workers wouldn't have the drive or ability to do anything else. Moreso, they have arrived at a point in their lives where there is little other option available to them to make ends meet. Be it through circumstances (addiction, poverty, etc), or whatever, it was never portrayed that sex work was something that someone would ever willingly enter into by choice.

I think Kate (from this parish) and Laura Lee, both through their campaigning for SW rights, and their public profiles (particularly Kate, as its so close to home for us here in Ireland), have educated people a lot more.


Now it is quite apparent that quite a lot of SWs are in the industry purely by choice, and its great that this fact is becoming more and more well known. The recent RTE documentary purported to show the arguments from both sides. One one side was Kate, campaigning like a trooper a she always does, and on the other was someone (who's name escapes me) who felt forced into sex work and it was a completely negative and destructive experience for her. Of course we have to be respectful and sensitive to those who are victims.

But, there are so many facets of society and of life in general that are open to abuse.

Personally, I am pleased that the media are starting to take some bit of an interest in the trade, and are willing to give a voice to Kate and others. And, it is also good that forums such as this, exist, as we can hear directly from people such as yourself how things are from your experience.

The fight against trafficking needs to be a priority for the authorities. For one, to ensure that abhorrent practice claims no more victims. For two, to remove any doubt in the mind of people wishing to avail of the services of a SWer.

In short though, now my preconceptions of SWers have changed hugely. It ranges from people of all ages wishing for a bit of extra cash, to those who simply enjoy promiscuity (any why not cash in on that?), to students who want to ease their financial burden, to those who are willing and happy to do it for a living.

Thank you Collin, your reply was well written and thought out.

You are right with regards to choices. Many of us do have choices and didn't start this destitute. I own a house and will be going back to it. I could have taken other paths to sort out my situation, but this one genuinely seemed like the right one for me and I was previously swinging, as I didn't want to be in a relationship. Sex was already something I enjoyed and was already accustomed to sex with strangers, so being paid to do so really wasn't a huge issue for me. I've enjoyed my time as a Sex Worker, but all good things come to an end.

I personally entered into this during the recession so never really experienced the 'high life', but there are some who achieved far more than I have during the boom and for them it was much, much more than survival and secured their future financially. These are not courtesans as some like to think of them, but women like me, who set out to offer a good service and work off the back of their reputation. These are business women. They are still here today and working for their future. It may take a little longer, but it can be done.

With regards to trafficking this is a term that is very badly misused, especially in Ireland. Trafficking should mean 'women/man taken against their will to work', yet the word is being used to describe anyone who is helped into the country to work. That could be someone who had their eyes wide open and may have been involved with sex work previously. It could be me getting a lift from George Best to my apartment. It's a very good way of making statistics look much worse than what they are. It's not trafficking they are looking to control, as it's is already under control largely, it's sex work they want to control.

For the record before I started I thought all the guys would be wearing anoraks and be 'in out, shake it all about' and leave. I seriously thought I would need to continue swinging for my own pleasure. I haven't been swinging for 6 years now and have no intention of doing so again. I've had some amazing sexual experiences in the last 6 years and I wouldn't change anything. I just wish I had not been influenced by the media and had started doing this while I was doing my degree instead of getting into debt. Retrospect is a wonderful thing.