Sex Workers

[EIFII]

One of the things I have noticed about clients is that they come from all walks of life. It would be very hard to put them in a box and say they are this 'type' of person. Yet so often I find myself faced with clients who seem to have the opinion that Sex Workers have either always been Sex Workers or have had no other job of any worth in their life. They oddly don't seem to think we are qualified to do anything else or have had the drive to do anything else.

I'm not sure if this is due to the misconception that we do this job because we are not able to do anything else, or we have a habit that makes us incapable of doing anything else or what it is, but it does make me wonder.

I am also aware that some clients would rather not think of us beyond the connecting through a booking, but even they do have some pre-conceptions.

Having said that, I know that some clients have got close to sex workers and know of their previous life or their future plans. They will know that many sex workers either have already got a good level of education or will be in education.

One of the great things about sex work is that it is very accommodating for those that want to further their educational path and work towards a different career path. Many people are stuck in dead end jobs that don't give them enough time or money to ever better themselves. We can do that and we do.

Can we please abolish this thought that sex workers are not able or capable of doing any other job. The notion that 'once a sex worker, always a sex worker'. Not many people are defined by their job, so why are we?

One of the funniest conversations I've had with some of my clients recently is when I tell them that I will be retiring soon and they ask... 'What will you do for sex?' 'How will you cope?'

I'm not going to give the answer as I think it's pretty obvious. I'm monogamous by nature, so I just do what comes naturally.

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

Nonsense to say other people - non sex workers - are not defined by our jobs. We teach our children to identify people by their jobs - Bob the builder Postman Pat Fireman Sam - need I go on? - and this is perpetuated all through life. "What do you do?" "Who do you work for?" are among the first and most socially acceptable questions asked when first getting to know someone.

Stop making out sex workers are some kind of special case

[KnickerSnifferDublin2016]

Nonsense to say other people - non sex workers - are not defined by our jobs. We teach our children to identify people by their jobs - Bob the builder Postman Pat Fireman Sam - need I go on? - and this is perpetuated all through life. "What do you do?" "Who do you work for?" are among the first and most socially acceptable questions asked when first getting to know someone.

Stop making out sex workers are some kind of special case

I agree.
. .

[tinytimintipp]

I once asked a chap i met casually, what he worked at, his reply as. im a minder,,,being nosey i asked minding what,,,he replied ,,minding my on buisseness,,

[Curvaceous Kate]

Nonsense to say other people - non sex workers - are not defined by our jobs. We teach our children to identify people by their jobs - Bob the builder Postman Pat Fireman Sam - need I go on? - and this is perpetuated all through life. "What do you do?" "Who do you work for?" are among the first and most socially acceptable questions asked when first getting to know someone.

Stop making out sex workers are some kind of special case

I said not many. I didn't say 'none' and not nonsense at all. You ask out of curiousity what someone does. You don't necessarily make assumptions on their life and standards due to their job. You might think a builder is good at building things and beyond that? A postman you might consider posts mail and beyond that? You don't assume they take drugs, have no money, hate their job, have no choice. It's far more invasive when people think of sex workers and very much depicted by the media. Do you see stories about builders making front page news often? Having policies made about them in government?

I know you have a bee in your bonnet about me, but do you have to criticise everything I say?

[Prickly]

Sex workers aren't defined by their jobs. They're defined by the stigma that goes with the job. Nobody should be defined by how they make their living.

[Curvaceous Kate]

Sex workers aren't defined by their jobs. They're defined by the stigma that goes with the job. Nobody should be defined by how they make their living.

It is kind of the same thing as you don't get one without the other. Without the job you wouldn't get the stigma. I don't think there is another job on the planet that insists that you work alone and unprotected and without any rights to safety either. I can't think of any other job where you are considered automatically in the eyes of the law to be a victim and yet persecuted when discovered. So many sex workers deported and having their passports stamped, let alone having their wages taken from them and made homeless.

What other occupation has people being treated in this way? Like the enemy or the victim and no in between despite it allegedly being legal to be an independent sex worker? I do find it strange that some forum members get annoyed when I bring. this up and try and make out I'm being a drama queen. I didn't set out to point the finger at anyone. I just wanted to see if anyone on here had retained that original 'stereotype' image that we all have before entering into the world of the sex industry or if it had been dispelled by actual experience. Some of the replies have been very thoughtful and refreshing, so I'm really glad that I wrote it.

[Curvaceous Kate]

I would be the opposite. I grew up watching war movies where sex workers are the only ray of light in an otherwise sea of misery.

Good Morning Vietnam springs to mind when you say that.

[Prickly]

It is kind of the same thing as you don't get one without the other. Without the job you wouldn't get the stigma. I don't think there is another job on the planet that insists that you work alone and unprotected and without any rights to safety either. I can't think of any other job where you are considered automatically in the eyes of the law to be a victim and yet persecuted when discovered. So many sex workers deported and having their passports stamped, let alone having their wages taken from them and made homeless.

What other occupation has people being treated in this way? Like the enemy or the victim and no in between despite it allegedly being legal to be an independent sex worker? I do find it strange that some forum members get annoyed when I bring. this up and try and make out I'm being a drama queen. I didn't set out to point the finger at anyone. I just wanted to see if anyone on here had retained that original 'stereotype' image that we all have before entering into the world of the sex industry or if it had been dispelled by actual experience. Some of the replies have been very thoughtful and refreshing, so I'm really glad that I wrote it.

I'm glad you wrote it too.
And Galway District Court has just proven your point on the treatment of sex workers.

[FatBastard]

I said not many. I didn't say 'none' and not nonsense at all. You ask out of curiousity what someone does. You don't necessarily make assumptions on their life and standards due to their job. You might think a builder is good at building things and beyond that? A postman you might consider posts mail and beyond that? You don't assume they take drugs, have no money, hate their job, have no choice. It's far more invasive when people think of sex workers and very much depicted by the media. Do you see stories about builders making front page news often? Having policies made about them in government?

I know you have a bee in your bonnet about me, but do you have to criticise everything I say?

Granted it doesn't carry the same stigma, but judgement? Sure.

You're a small time builder? You're a tax dodging con man getting money for grannys drive way and fucking off.

Postman? Lazy bastard on strike again because £25k a year isn't enough for for 30 hours a week fannying around in a little gay van NOT delivering my amazon parcels.

The thing is though, those 2 examples are easy to brush off as a laugh (or not). The preconceived notions of sex workers (and clients to a degree) are alot harder to pass over casually.

[Curvaceous Kate]

Granted it doesn't carry the same stigma, but judgement? Sure.

You're a small time builder? You're a tax dodging con man getting money for grannys drive way and fucking off.

Postman? Lazy bastard on strike again because £25k a year isn't enough for for 30 hours a week fannying around in a little gay van NOT delivering my amazon parcels.

The thing is though, those 2 examples are easy to brush off as a laugh (or not). The preconceived notions of sex workers (and clients to a degree) are alot harder to pass over casually.

I've never thought that about either profession, so it's not universal and if you are good at your job, you will get recognition and a good reputation. Good builders are like gold dust and funnily enough I actually phoned Royal Mail to praise one of my posties, because they have been fantastic with me the last year bringing the parcel up to my door. I did it because another jobs worth refused and said if he did it then everyone would expect it. I decided rather than complaining it would be better to praise the one that has always given a great service.

Is there an opportunity for either of these within my job? Even the reviews are looked at with sceptically. If any of the forum discussions are to go by my reviews are looked at badly because I don't have any negatives. People assume that some may be dodgy or fake (which they are not). In a way I'm glad one person said they would not see me again, so I'm down 1% on two 100%'s or I really would be in trouble.

Oh and generally it's MyHermes that deliver with Amazon and they are independent. They deliver for Argos too and last year an ipad I bought not arrived (presumed stolen) but they said they left it for me. Yeah right! I get on well with the MyHermes guy now, so I don't think he would do it again.