Sex Workers

[Curvaceous Kate]

Why does it bother you? Why let it bother you? Honestly who cares what random johns think. I've done a number of random "low" jobs and been treated like shit. But hey I got to where I was going to. I wouldn't let it bother you. And plenty of students escort to help with fees.

It's because the attitudes are here on the forum. I can talk with the guys that I meet one to one and they are able to look at things differently and people do change their opinion. However, when it is talked about on here so often without any thought, it does bother me as people read what is said and either agree without any first hand knowledge and think it is the truth (after all you are clients so you should know), or they look at it as misogynistic.

I know the majority of my clients respect me for the person I am and not just the service I provide, but that message rarely seems to get conveyed on here. It reflects badly on everyone when things are not balanced.

[Curvaceous Kate]

kate but do you think you will retire for good or will you be drawn back?

I have worked hard to create a world where I can manage on a simple wage if needs be, so there is no reason why I should be drawn back. I don't want to spend the rest of my life on my own and I want to be able to live around the people that love me and be able to talk without having to watch what I say. I also want a dog and to re-build foundations. I'm afraid although I will miss some of my clients, I won't miss the lifestyle. The lifestyle has never suited me. So... No!

[hadaway]

Retiring in the Spring and I'm afraid I can't say what I will be doing as doing so could mean I can't do it. I have told a few people that I know and trust (clients), but can't say on here. I doubt there are many people that would be able to discuss that openly on here, so it does need to be kept without naming anyone. Let's not put people's hard work into jeopardy.

April, you're joking, you were right about one thing kate ,,,,,,, Hadaway would never get between those lovely thighs of yours

[Curvaceous Kate]

Hi Kate, this is a really interesting question. I think a lot of people (me included) would have had our preconceptions coloured by what we've seen in movies. The stereotype wasn't so much that sex workers wouldn't have the drive or ability to do anything else. Moreso, they have arrived at a point in their lives where there is little other option available to them to make ends meet. Be it through circumstances (addiction, poverty, etc), or whatever, it was never portrayed that sex work was something that someone would ever willingly enter into by choice.

I think Kate (from this parish) and Laura Lee, both through their campaigning for SW rights, and their public profiles (particularly Kate, as its so close to home for us here in Ireland), have educated people a lot more.


Now it is quite apparent that quite a lot of SWs are in the industry purely by choice, and its great that this fact is becoming more and more well known. The recent RTE documentary purported to show the arguments from both sides. One one side was Kate, campaigning like a trooper a she always does, and on the other was someone (who's name escapes me) who felt forced into sex work and it was a completely negative and destructive experience for her. Of course we have to be respectful and sensitive to those who are victims.

But, there are so many facets of society and of life in general that are open to abuse.

Personally, I am pleased that the media are starting to take some bit of an interest in the trade, and are willing to give a voice to Kate and others. And, it is also good that forums such as this, exist, as we can hear directly from people such as yourself how things are from your experience.

The fight against trafficking needs to be a priority for the authorities. For one, to ensure that abhorrent practice claims no more victims. For two, to remove any doubt in the mind of people wishing to avail of the services of a SWer.

In short though, now my preconceptions of SWers have changed hugely. It ranges from people of all ages wishing for a bit of extra cash, to those who simply enjoy promiscuity (any why not cash in on that?), to students who want to ease their financial burden, to those who are willing and happy to do it for a living.

Thank you Collin, your reply was well written and thought out.

You are right with regards to choices. Many of us do have choices and didn't start this destitute. I own a house and will be going back to it. I could have taken other paths to sort out my situation, but this one genuinely seemed like the right one for me and I was previously swinging, as I didn't want to be in a relationship. Sex was already something I enjoyed and was already accustomed to sex with strangers, so being paid to do so really wasn't a huge issue for me. I've enjoyed my time as a Sex Worker, but all good things come to an end.

I personally entered into this during the recession so never really experienced the 'high life', but there are some who achieved far more than I have during the boom and for them it was much, much more than survival and secured their future financially. These are not courtesans as some like to think of them, but women like me, who set out to offer a good service and work off the back of their reputation. These are business women. They are still here today and working for their future. It may take a little longer, but it can be done.

With regards to trafficking this is a term that is very badly misused, especially in Ireland. Trafficking should mean 'women/man taken against their will to work', yet the word is being used to describe anyone who is helped into the country to work. That could be someone who had their eyes wide open and may have been involved with sex work previously. It could be me getting a lift from George Best to my apartment. It's a very good way of making statistics look much worse than what they are. It's not trafficking they are looking to control, as it's is already under control largely, it's sex work they want to control.

For the record before I started I thought all the guys would be wearing anoraks and be 'in out, shake it all about' and leave. I seriously thought I would need to continue swinging for my own pleasure. I haven't been swinging for 6 years now and have no intention of doing so again. I've had some amazing sexual experiences in the last 6 years and I wouldn't change anything. I just wish I had not been influenced by the media and had started doing this while I was doing my degree instead of getting into debt. Retrospect is a wonderful thing.

[Liberty Love]

Congratulations!
Good luck in whatever path you choose!

[Curvaceous Kate]

Congratulations!
Good luck in whatever path you choose!

A little premature, but thank you xxx

[Prickly]

I'm not one for stereotypes to begin with and that includes my opinions on escorting. In most of my meetings I've found that the escort is a very interesting and capable person and that is the sort of person I want to meet these days.

[td1]

One of the things I have noticed about clients is that they come from all walks of life. It would be very hard to put them in a box and say they are this 'type' of person. Yet so often I find myself faced with clients who seem to have the opinion that Sex Workers have either always been Sex Workers or have had no other job of any worth in their life. They oddly don't seem to think we are qualified to do anything else or have had the drive to do anything else.

I'm not sure if this is due to the misconception that we do this job because we are not able to do anything else, or we have a habit that makes us incapable of doing anything else or what it is, but it does make me wonder.

I am also aware that some clients would rather not think of us beyond the connecting through a booking, but even they do have some pre-conceptions.

Having said that, I know that some clients have got close to sex workers and know of their previous life or their future plans. They will know that many sex workers either have already got a good level of education or will be in education.

One of the great things about sex work is that it is very accommodating for those that want to further their educational path and work towards a different career path. Many people are stuck in dead end jobs that don't give them enough time or money to ever better themselves. We can do that and we do.

Can we please abolish this thought that sex workers are not able or capable of doing any other job. The notion that 'once a sex worker, always a sex worker'. Not many people are defined by their job, so why are we?

One of the funniest conversations I've had with some of my clients recently is when I tell them that I will be retiring soon and they ask... 'What will you do for sex?' 'How will you cope?'

I'm not going to give the answer as I think it's pretty obvious. I'm monogamous by nature, so I just do what comes naturally.

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

Great post kate !

Never met you but would love to. Geographics are all wrong...lol But by your posts here you seem quite engaging re conversation.

Id never judge anyone and you never really know anyone do you.

[FatBastard]

When you think of a sex worker, what goes through your mind? Do you have a stereotype?

I did, before I met one. Or 3.

As absolutely awful, and stupid as this sounds, TV/Film had me assuming that sex workers were not "real" people.

And I don't mean it as in I thought of them as merely as an object, not at all, I mean it in the sense that I had this notion that they would all be strictly business. You go in, hand over the cash, have your fun, and leave. Bare minimum communication, robotic actions, and her possibly trying to hide a look/feeling of disgust. That's what I expected.

What I did not expect was warm welcomes, friendly (deep in some cases) conversations, and meeting down to earth normal everyday people that you would never guess were sex workers had I met them in any other circumstance. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but just "normal" people was not it.

That's not to say that any of the above was not just all part of an act, or persona, but if it was then we have some of the worlds best actors living on this island!


This post turned into a bit of a fuck up, but I hope my point comes across.

[lapd]

Great post Kate as usual x But sex workers most that I have met are very astute business people and it is just that, a business. I have also met many of the trafficked and forced in last year as well, and that is totally different. Just to read your posts one knows you are a very smart lady X To most girls it is a means to an end but I have heard some horror stories even on here.
Wish you all the best with what ever you decide to do, and no doubt it will be successful, just one thing do not come back out of retirement from experience the years change things.

Oh do you not do this just for sex?? I am all wrong