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Thread: He said, she said...

  1. #1
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    Default He said, she said...

    He said "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've nothing to put into it!"
    She said, "You wear pants don't you?"

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  3. #2
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    A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
    As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."
    She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
    "I can't wear your trousers." she said.
    "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."
    With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
    He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
    "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
    She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."


    " WE ARE CONNACHT "

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  5. #3
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    A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?” The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.” The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?” Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says, “You.”


    " WE ARE CONNACHT "

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  7. #4
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    Default Last one tonight

    A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong. "Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years." "That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"


    " WE ARE CONNACHT "

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  9. #5
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    Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?

    A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time!

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  11. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel Divine View Post
    Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?

    A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
    Now I know why you keep turning off the light


    " WE ARE CONNACHT "

  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by willie wacker View Post
    Now I know why you keep turning off the light
    It's not you, baby .... It's Me!!!

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  14. #8
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    What’s the difference between men and women?

    Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake their entire marriage.
    ”The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.”

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  16. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel Divine View Post
    Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?

    A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
    I must bring a torch

  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by willie wacker View Post
    A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
    As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."
    She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
    "I can't wear your trousers." she said.
    "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."
    With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
    He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
    "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
    She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."
    Quote Originally Posted by willie wacker View Post
    A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?” The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.” The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?” Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says, “You.”
    Quote Originally Posted by willie wacker View Post
    A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong. "Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years." "That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"
    It's Sunday I was working all weekend TLTR. One liners only please.

    Quote Originally Posted by anon361 View Post
    He said "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've nothing to put into it!"
    She said, "You wear pants don't you?"
    He said, she said...I love you.

    A good positive post.

    To music.....................

    I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello!

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