Sore Arse and Sack, need soother

[supermario]

I intended to visit a ts today but all went wrong
In order to be super clean and smooth I used hair removal cream on my crack and sack last night with good results but they are on fire this morning, i can still feel them burning away as i sit and its so painful. how can i let any one near that now, any quick tips on making me less sore

Rub deep heat into it . . . Loads of it