Maybe this is why some dont like explicit reviews :)

[Lucy Chambers]

Now you have me curious Lucy link please honey. Loll

Have a lovely weekend hon

LVT

I'm not allowed to link LVT, he's an English reviewer from a rival site. I will see if I can cut and paste a few for you. He's quite sweet really

[Ladyvonteese]

I'm not allowed to link LVT, he's an English reviewer from a rival site. I will see if I can cut and paste a few for you. He's quite sweet really

Thanks honey, x

LVT

[Lucy Chambers]

Thanks honey, x

LVT

Here you go


"*****" The Times
"Gripping" The Observer
"Dazzling" The Evening Standard
"Perplexing!" The Financial Times
"Bloody immigrants taking our jobs!" The Daily Mail



From the makers of "Fish Supper at Tiffany's" and "The Triplets of Tewkesbury" comes the new autumn blockbuster: "Minge Grease".

[The following text is to be read in the style of a deep-voiced, movie-trailer voiceover artist.]

One man, in a land, in a time, in a world dispossessed of morality where cash is king and the currency is lust. Man Meat plays the Punter. Elise plays the dame on the game. Double the action!! Triple the excitement!!! It's an edge-of-your-seat thriller starring two great icons of the Milton Keynes punting fraternity. It's the on-screen romance that had to happen. The bedroom scenes will entrance you with their pulse-quickening, slam-bang action sequences. It's wilder than "The Wild Bunch"; more sinful than "Sin City"; yet more frugal than "Million Dollar Baby".

This movie has it all: bubbling libidos, deep French kissing, oral without, reverse-oral, fingering, stroking, poking, laughing and joking. It's unceasingly upbeat with Laugh-Out-Loud moments of hilarity, sparkling dialogue, and sexual performances that will linger in the mind like traces of mercury. It's the perfect antidote to political propaganda and will make Harriet Harman shake like a lobster next to a boiling pot.

Certificate Triple X at a cinema near you.

"Ungodly fornication of the highest quality" The Archbishop of Canterbury.
"He's living the dream" The Dalai Lama.
"Condoms are the Devil's clingfilm!" The Pope.

[Lucy Chambers]

A glittering galleria of titillating treats.
The Lady
A big-breasted blonde; experienced and accomplished, but with an unexpected air of vulnerability like a kitten in a minefield.
The Story
It was Saturday. It was 15 degrees centigrade with a 10mph north-easterly wind. I was in the mood for some hot sex, but I had certain misgivings as I was suffering from a bout of anal leakage. After a moment's consideration I thought "What the hell!" I shoved a tampon up my arse and roller-skated over to the parlour.

I arrived wearing a purple Kimono, Cuban Heels and a cowboy hat. I introduced myself to the new maid and she escorted me to the bedroom. I barely had time to adjust the volume on the radio when Lucy walked through the door.

You know sometimes you book a stunning young nymphomaniac, but what you actually get is a flabby-armed wanking machine? Well, not today. Lucy was an attractive blonde with a huge pair of Bobby Dazzlers, and she offered more services than I could ever want. She was wearing a necklace, earrings and a bracelet. I'd wanted to see her for over a year and I couldn't wait to finger her trinkets.

"Here is your orange juice," she said.
As I reached forward to take the glass, I noticed her fingers were trembling with excitement. I wondered if she was wet between the legs with fevered anticipation.

I placed the drink on the bedside table. When I turned around, Lucy was next to me. She stood on tiptoes, reaching up to kiss me tentatively. I sensed her eyeing me with a certain degree of perspicacity. She rubbed the cigar-shaped bulge in my jeans.
"Oh Lucy," I blushed, "Look what you’ve done to me!"
She giggled. "I'm such a bad girl!"
"And I'm such a bad boy."
She squeezed my cock. "I'd like to see how good a bad boy can be."
"And I'd like to rip off your panties and have sex that's so good your neighbours will need a fag afterwards."
She chuckled, "We'd better get started then."

I undressed and lay on the bed. My cock stood upright like a power station cooling tower stretching up into the cool, blue sky. Lucy wanked me slowly, then lowered her head and treated me to an enthusiastic session of oral without. She stopped occasionally to smother me in kisses. Her breath, hot and urgent, filled my ears.

She sucked my balls while looking into my eyes. Then she continued the blowjob, initially with hands, and then, upon request, without. I had planned to have intercourse with Lucy but I was so close to the finish line that all she'd get is 3 pumps and an apology. I stammered, "D-Do you do come in mouth?"
She nodded. I closed my eyes and waited for the explosive denouement. When it came, I was so overjoyed I began to yodel.

A wonderful blowjob.

[Dick]

"I was so overjoyed I began to yodel." brilliant! weve all been there, surely?

[whoseyourdaddy]

' sex so good your neighbours will need a fag' he's the poet of punting

[Ladyvonteese]

Here you go


"*****" The Times
"Gripping" The Observer
"Dazzling" The Evening Standard
"Perplexing!" The Financial Times
"Bloody immigrants taking our jobs!" The Daily Mail



From the makers of "Fish Supper at Tiffany's" and "The Triplets of Tewkesbury" comes the new autumn blockbuster: "Minge Grease".

[The following text is to be read in the style of a deep-voiced, movie-trailer voiceover artist.]

One man, in a land, in a time, in a world dispossessed of morality where cash is king and the currency is lust. Man Meat plays the Punter. Elise plays the dame on the game. Double the action!! Triple the excitement!!! It's an edge-of-your-seat thriller starring two great icons of the Milton Keynes punting fraternity. It's the on-screen romance that had to happen. The bedroom scenes will entrance you with their pulse-quickening, slam-bang action sequences. It's wilder than "The Wild Bunch"; more sinful than "Sin City"; yet more frugal than "Million Dollar Baby".

This movie has it all: bubbling libidos, deep French kissing, oral without, reverse-oral, fingering, stroking, poking, laughing and joking. It's unceasingly upbeat with Laugh-Out-Loud moments of hilarity, sparkling dialogue, and sexual performances that will linger in the mind like traces of mercury. It's the perfect antidote to political propaganda and will make Harriet Harman shake like a lobster next to a boiling pot.

Certificate Triple X at a cinema near you.

"Ungodly fornication of the highest quality" The Archbishop of Canterbury.
"He's living the dream" The Dalai Lama.
"Condoms are the Devil's clingfilm!" The Pope.

A glittering galleria of titillating treats.
The Lady
A big-breasted blonde; experienced and accomplished, but with an unexpected air of vulnerability like a kitten in a minefield.
The Story
It was Saturday. It was 15 degrees centigrade with a 10mph north-easterly wind. I was in the mood for some hot sex, but I had certain misgivings as I was suffering from a bout of anal leakage. After a moment's consideration I thought "What the hell!" I shoved a tampon up my arse and roller-skated over to the parlour.

I arrived wearing a purple Kimono, Cuban Heels and a cowboy hat. I introduced myself to the new maid and she escorted me to the bedroom. I barely had time to adjust the volume on the radio when Lucy walked through the door.

You know sometimes you book a stunning young nymphomaniac, but what you actually get is a flabby-armed wanking machine? Well, not today. Lucy was an attractive blonde with a huge pair of Bobby Dazzlers, and she offered more services than I could ever want. She was wearing a necklace, earrings and a bracelet. I'd wanted to see her for over a year and I couldn't wait to finger her trinkets.

"Here is your orange juice," she said.
As I reached forward to take the glass, I noticed her fingers were trembling with excitement. I wondered if she was wet between the legs with fevered anticipation.

I placed the drink on the bedside table. When I turned around, Lucy was next to me. She stood on tiptoes, reaching up to kiss me tentatively. I sensed her eyeing me with a certain degree of perspicacity. She rubbed the cigar-shaped bulge in my jeans.
"Oh Lucy," I blushed, "Look what you’ve done to me!"
She giggled. "I'm such a bad girl!"
"And I'm such a bad boy."
She squeezed my cock. "I'd like to see how good a bad boy can be."
"And I'd like to rip off your panties and have sex that's so good your neighbours will need a fag afterwards."
She chuckled, "We'd better get started then."

I undressed and lay on the bed. My cock stood upright like a power station cooling tower stretching up into the cool, blue sky. Lucy wanked me slowly, then lowered her head and treated me to an enthusiastic session of oral without. She stopped occasionally to smother me in kisses. Her breath, hot and urgent, filled my ears.

She sucked my balls while looking into my eyes. Then she continued the blowjob, initially with hands, and then, upon request, without. I had planned to have intercourse with Lucy but I was so close to the finish line that all she'd get is 3 pumps and an apology. I stammered, "D-Do you do come in mouth?"
She nodded. I closed my eyes and waited for the explosive denouement. When it came, I was so overjoyed I began to yodel.

A wonderful blowjob.

Sounds like a fun guy to meet up with. loll

Thanks honey.

Lady von teese