You cant just declare an ass to be the best!
There are procedures to this, tests. The last time someone declared an ass the best with out the scientific facts to back them up it led to the Helsinki incident of 1908, and i think we all remember how that turned out.
Theres so many factors we have to check... dimensions of ass, softness, the jiggle factor can it crush a walnut and the rest. Ill tell you what to avoid an incident ill go to all the girls places and perform the necessary experiments.
I cant believe this is happening to me again, what we do for science...
"Say hi to your mother for me ok"