Escorts have an negative effect on your relationship with your partner

[Stevenn]

monogamy is the greatest myth perpetuated on the human race,,,enjoy, life is short, your love for your partner has nothing to do with wanting a bit of sexual experimentation , especially when your desires and deepest fantasies would, if exposed to your partner, could danger the relationship. Lauren

Sorry Lauren but I really must disagree strongly. Monogamy is not a myth for those of us that believe in it. And it's certainly not a myth for the wives and partners of married men who visit escorts. It's as much a lifestyle choice as any other. Just because it's not as risqué as some, doesn't make it any less credible or worth committing to.

Where one partner in a relationship is basically lying to the other then the relationship has become a lie.

I'm not a fuddy duddy by anyone's standards but I do believe in honesty and being open to people you claim to love. Many couples enjoy open relationships or relationships with three or more parties and if that works for them that is fantastic but when someone is being lied to, then it's just not good, no matter what spin is put on it.

[Sexy Sandy 69]

Any perceived positive effects of visiting escorts on a relationship are an illusion. IMO any form of cheating is a negative no matter what way you want to dress it up and if you need to be visiting an escort to fill a gap in your relationship that you think needs to be filled, then it's the wrong relationship for you.

If your wife/girlfriend/other is not giving you everything you need, then it's time to either:

A) talk to them about it and ye make a change together.
B) accept the situation as it is and move on with yere life together.
C) end the relationship if you can't accept it as it is.

There was a research paper undertaken in the UK several years & 70% of guys admitted visiting escorts to get the sex that they wanted.

Many of my clients are older, they love their partners, have children, some have grand children, so for them to end their relationship/marriage isn't an option, many do not want to be without their partner but still have a sex drive. Their partners sex drive has diminished so for them to bring up the subject of their sex life, causes arguments & tension.

Option A: To make a change, isn't an option, their partner will not talk about their sex life or prepared to change.
Option B: They accept the situation HOWEVER they seek sex outside the relationship, hence visit escorts avoiding the implications that Option A would bring about.
Option C: To end the relationship, for many who have been married in excess of 40/50 years is not an option, their whole life including their social circle has been centered around their marriage, so for them to start a new life 'alone' is very daunting.

I don't think it's our position to judge those who seek to visit escorts to keep their relationships working, it's their choice, we are not in their shoes & we don't know for 100% the issues in the relationship.

Sandy x

[Stevenn]

I would love to see that report you mentioned. Any link??

In fairness just because 70% are doing it doesn't make it right so I think the statistic is irrelevant to be honest. If 99.9% were doing it it would still be wrong.

You used older men as an example, yet they are just one cross section of society and in my opinion, none of the reason you listed can justify lying to their partner. I'm sure those men, or any men would have something different to say if their wives were visiting male escorts to get what they couldn't get at home.

[bootboy]

There was a research paper undertaken in the UK several years & 70% of guys admitted visiting escorts to get the sex that they wanted.

Sandy x

That seems incredibly high . Is there any devil in the detail there ?

[Sexy Sandy 69]

I would love to see that report you mentioned. Any link??

In fairness just because 70% are doing it doesn't make it right so I think the statistic is irrelevant to be honest. If 99.9% were doing it it would still be wrong.

You used older men as an example, yet they are just one cross section of society and in my opinion, none of the reason you listed can justify lying to their partner. I'm sure those men, or any men would have something different to say if their wives were visiting male escorts to get what they couldn't get at home.

No I don't have a link, believe it or not, I don't log or keep every research paper I read & as I mentioned in my reply, it was several years ago.

If you find visiting escorts so wrong, why are you a member of an escort site? If it's not something you agree with, why access this site at all?

Sandy x

[bootboy]

Sorry Lauren but I really must disagree strongly. Monogamy is not a myth for those of us that believe in it. And it's certainly not a myth for the wives and partners of married men who visit escorts. It's as much a lifestyle choice as any other. Just because it's not as risqué as some, doesn't make it any less credible or worth committing to.

Where one partner in a relationship is basically lying to the other then the relationship has become a lie.

I'm not a fuddy duddy by anyone's standards but I do believe in honesty and being open to people you claim to love. Many couples enjoy open relationships or relationships with three or more parties and if that works for them that is fantastic but when someone is being lied to, then it's just not good, no matter what spin is put on it.

You are right in theory. However, as Sandy says , what would your advice be to hubby in her Option A ? There is too much at stake for the sake of a bit if commercial sex on the side. Very few long term relationships are 100% rosey .

[bootboy]

No I don't have a link, believe it or not, I don't log or keep every research paper I read & as I mentioned in my reply, it was several years ago.

If you find visiting escorts so wrong, why are you a member of an escort site? If it's not something you agree with, why access this site at all?

Sandy x

We all do things we know to be wrong.

[bootboy]

If I was in a relationship I wouldn't be visiting escorts. I cant see how visiting escorts when you are in a relationship would help.

If you are in a relationship and having problems then its best to talk to your partner and try to resolve the issues and make the relationship stronger.
Going to see escorts when problems arise at home is just a cowardly way out of manning up and doing the right thing imo.

Before I get bashed its just my opinion and yes I do have experience with a relationship in the past.

What is that ?

[Stevenn]

No I don't have a link, believe it or not, I don't log or keep every research paper I read & as I mentioned in my reply, it was several years ago.

If you find visiting escorts so wrong, why are you a member of an escort site? If it's not something you agree with, why access this site at all?

Sandy x

Excuse me but I never said there was anything wrong with people visiting escorts. I have no problem at all with people visiting escorts. What I don't agree with is when people lie to their committed partners about their sexual activity outside of their relationship. There is a huge difference between that and my reasons for visiting escorts and indeed using this site.

I am a single man with no relationship obligations to anyone and how I choose to live my life affects nobody but myself. Even my children are reared and no longer live at home. My visiting escorts has no effect, negative or otherwise, on anyone else.

[Sexy Sandy 69]

I can say for sure that 99.9% of my clients are either married or in a relationship. Guys are more sexually driven than women, if they weren't visiting escorts, they would be having affairs. Affairs are more damaging to a relationship than visiting escorts now & again.

Sandy x