Skidmark Alert

[Noah]

Just to lighten the mood, did any of the escorts here ever get a guys jocks off, only to find he had pulled a hand brake turn in his under crackers ( thats a pooh mark to everbody ), even if the lad has a shower, you just know that he's a non arse wiping smelly bugger, what a knacker, or worse, and here's the big one, did any of the ladies ever find themselves in the same position, surely not.....For the record, i am wonderously clean

[annasavicha]

Yesss,....................and he left stains on my sheet as he sat down

[Noah]

I once went to an escort and she had a very smelly fanny, it was'nt very pleasant, i think that she wanted me to go down on her but her minge was kicking out a right pong, i told her so to. I have also experienced the sight of bum bum sheets, were some dirty boy has rubbed his grotty botty against the sheet and left his calling card for me to see.

[DollyDarling]

I once went to an escort and she had a very smelly fanny, it was'nt very pleasant, i think that she wanted me to go down on her but her minge was kicking out a right pong, i told her so to. I have also experienced the sight of bum bum sheets, were some dirty boy has rubbed his grotty botty against the sheet and left his calling card for me to see.

If a girl has a smelly fanny (also if men have smelly cocks) It could any of these reasons:

1. bad hygiene
2. Too much meat or fish in diet
3. Too much junk food - Aspartame (artificial sweetner) makes a weird taste in precum
4. Yeast Infection. This one will surely taste disgusting
5. Bad health overall. The body is made to dispose of badness. It will use any outlet it can to rid itself of badness. This will affect sweat, and any body liquids, breath, saliva, will come out pores of skin...

To change the diet to a healthy one will affect all aspects of the body. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend (husband or wife) who is smelly. Rather then tell them and hurt their feelings (if at all possible) I suggest cooking dinners for them to show healthy food into their diet. Be an influence. Eat those good foods in front of them. Mention "doesnt my cum taste lovely? Ive been eating really healthy for you. Lots of veggies, fruits, juices, and water. Because I want you to enjoy my taste, I make sure I eat and live healthy for your benefit as well as my own"

Bingo!

I think she will get a clue then...

As for skid marks. Well, occasionally seeing such things, is all part of the job. Sorry, but as an escort, I have a hard time being squeamish about most things. My friend gets paid anyway to give enemas to men. About $600 for it. At least he is clean then right? Spic-N-Span for the next escort... and will definitely not be leaving those marks on escort 2's bed linen. So give thanks next time your at mass... thanks for the enema givers!

[Corkdave]

I hear pineapple is good for making cum taste better.

[DollyDarling]

I hear pineapple is good for making cum taste better.

Drink up Dave! Drink your pineapple juice and Im sure every women will want you to shoot your sweet cum in her mouth (or at least this Dolly will want you to shoot your sweet cum in my mouth)

[Oven Ready Eddie]

Yesss,....................and he left stains on my sheet as he sat down

You promised not to tell anyone about that . I paid for the dry cleaning and said it would never happen again what more do you want . Come on cut me some slack I’m only a chicken and not used to all these silly rules you humans have about wiping yer ass’s . How was I to know that burnt picca would have that effect on me.