Happy ending guilt

[justfrank44]

Hi,
I've never paid for any physical sexual service till yesterday when I got a massage with a happy ending.

I've been with my girlfriend for a long time, she is the only person I've ever been with but lately I've had fantasies of being with someone else, any other female, not a relationship, just a physical thing, so I snoop on this site and look at the ads and play out how it would go in my head but never did anything about it, then yesterday I had some time on my hands and felt like I needed a massage and if something else came with that so be it. I popped into somewhere that looked like that type of place.

I kind of thought it might be the situation where I would have to raise the issue of happy endings, something I'd never do but the masseuse asked me before I'd even undressed and I just awkwardly said yes.

My heart was beating like crazy for the first part of the massage, I was considering asking her to cancel the happy ending part, then when she started massaging my ass and scrotum from behind I just went with it, as soon as I came I felt like shit. I wanted to leave but my massage wasn't over and I stuck out the rest of it.

I love my girlfriend and now I feel like an absolute arse, in some ways it didn't feel like cheating because there was zero attraction there, I barely even looked at the masseuse, it was purely a physical sensation that made me orgasm... it barely felt sexual to be honest, but I still wish I never did it.

How do you guys deal with this feeling? Do you consider it cheating? Is it possible to still be a good guy and do this when you have a girlfriend? Sorry if this is a bit of mood killer but just looking for someone to make me feel better about myself as a person.

Two possible things will happen, either you have purged yourself of the need for experimentation and that will be the end of it, or, you will start to get turned on at the thought of your visit, and will return for more, from there you will escalate to escorts, draining your bank balance, losing your girlfriend, and you will end up with an arse like slavetoyou's for your troubles.