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Thread: Oven Ready Eddie Will You Survive Xmas???

  1. #1
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    Default Oven Ready Eddie Will You Survive Xmas???

    Eddie,

    We have come to love you dearly over the last while, and, given the time of year it is (such a dangerous time for turkeys), we are getting concerned about your welfare.

    Please assure us you will survive yuletide and be with us in the new year?

    Pat x

  2. #2
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    Wink

    I worry too Mr Ready!!
    But i have the perfect place to keep you safe and warm over xmas!!

    Now just out of curiosity...... are you free range or organic??

  3. #3
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    Steady now Eddie. You have to come quietly. I promise it wont hurt Ill be as humane as possible. A man has got to eat. Now Fiona is there any room up there for me too.

  4. #4
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    Talking Ooooooh baby!!!

    Are you kidding me Mr Eastwood????
    I've always got room for Dirty Harry in my warm safe place!!

    Clint... you are my super man!!!!
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patricia View Post
    Eddie,

    We have come to love you dearly over the last while, and, given the time of year it is (such a dangerous time for turkeys), we are getting concerned about your welfare.

    Please assure us you will survive yuletide and be with us in the new year?

    Pat x
    Fear not for Eddie is way ahead of the posse (no that’s not a typo). I have been undergoing extensive plastic surgery for months now and as I think the first att pic below will attest I have managed to attain an uncanny resemblance to one wee Tyrone lad who ‘almost’ won the X factor and if that don’t work then its on to plan B which the second att pic will explain far better then this humble randy rooster.

    I’m doing the Xmas shopping today with the missus’s which is a feckin nightmare let me tell you when you have 500 wives to follow around aldi all day (were on a budget, no not budgie….BUDGET). we decided to charter a plane up to Dublin but I’ve no luck as it got hijacked by the burka boys and it wasn’t the smoothest of take offs (see pic 3) not sure where they plan to go but I heard it’s a toss up between KFC or Bernard Matthews home (GULP!!!) so either way my goose is cooked. I’m sick a parrot to be honest as I wanted to fly Ryanair but would those 500 cluckers listen?………noooooooo……

    Anyway the next few days will tell if my plan will work so wings crossed and god willing I’ll live to see in the new year.

    A merry Christmas to all the feathered fowl and game birds (sorry) this festive season and remember a turkey is not just for Christmas, its for……………(hang on…….it is only for Christmas)…………RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

    YouTube - Nelly Furtado - I'm Like A Bird

    Btw I think you win the award for the most subtle double entendre on an Escort site with the line...

    ‘We have come to love you dearly’

    I think we all can identify with that and would make for a great E-I motto


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    Last edited by Oven Ready Eddie; 23-12-08 at 09:35. Reason: you try typing with wings :)
    This message brought to you by the P.L.O. The poultry Liberation Organization. Motto, We Lay as we Slay

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiona View Post
    I worry too Mr Ready!!
    But i have the perfect place to keep you safe and warm over xmas!!

    Now just out of curiosity...... are you free range or organic??
    I’m not falling for that old chestnut again this year Fiona , you said that last Christmas and yes it was lovely and warm but was faaaaaaaar from safe from my point of view as I ended up in your oven . (can’t think where else you could mean ). But to be honest I nearly ran into the oven and slammed the door behind me and said a decade of the rosary after the trip home in the boot of your car from tescos with the rest of you’re (ahem) ‘supplies’ for the festive season. Won’t say what you bought but lets just say I came out of that boot more worldly wise (and sore) then when I went in (RE : silver surfer)

    JEEEEESUS WOMEN!!!! Talk about life flashing before my eyes (didn’t take long…egg, funny walk for a few months lookin redic and then the pot, hey…it’s a living) slooooow down Fiona that micra ain’t made for you’re tight schedule babes.

    This chicken will NOT be crossing any road that you are on that’s for sure

    And I’m free range btw, have my own little patch to scratch, but that’s enough about my medical problems.

    Ps

    Don’t you dare change that avatar btw as its giving this ole cockerel reason to ‘get up’ in the morning and crow in a new day.

    Just for Princess Fiona, this is for you and merry Xmas and safe driving.

    shrek alleluyah - Google Video
    Last edited by Oven Ready Eddie; 23-12-08 at 09:43. Reason: hen pecked by the missus's
    This message brought to you by the P.L.O. The poultry Liberation Organization. Motto, We Lay as we Slay

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clint Eastwood View Post
    Steady now Eddie. You have to come quietly. I promise it wont hurt Ill be as humane as possible. A man has got to eat. Now Fiona is there any room up there for me too.
    I always come quietly, you know that. See you soon, xmas rates apply as you are a regular. I promise that Magnum will melt in my beak and not in my wing. But jesus clint you are getting on a bit
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    This message brought to you by the P.L.O. The poultry Liberation Organization. Motto, We Lay as we Slay

  8. #8
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    Eddie that picture was taken a long time ago. I have had botox treatment done since.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clint Eastwood View Post
    Eddie that picture was taken a long time ago. I have had botox treatment done since.

    Eastwood you and Fiona are a match made in heaven........Fi he is all yours, i give him to you as a Christmas gift - sorry i wont be wrapping him for you - if you send me your address i will of course put him in a jiffy bag.

    Have a cherry merry one i have all me decorations up - well just one little one anyway.

    Jingling all the way to the post office with your man - you deserve him you are always a good girl......... xx Happy Yule........

    The Hot One......... Eddie when ya gotta go then go quietly........ xxx

  10. #10
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    Do they sell that stuff by the lorry load ? yer left cheek alone would need about a gallon to get it up from dragging along the ground


    This message brought to you by the P.L.O. The poultry Liberation Organization. Motto, We Lay as we Slay

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