Could you, would you?

[Calidude]

Could you, would you...

marry an escort?

or, if you don't believe in marriage, enter a long term arrangement?u

Perhaps you are already married; would you consider a "change"?

No?

Why not?

In a heartbeat! Lovely women, funny and experienced, practical and determined... sure!!!

[Vitruvian]

Some very interesting and thought provoking posts in this thread Stephanie.

One very good definition of love I have come across is the ability to give your partner the freedom to be herself. If that is to be an escort, because she likes and enjoys that, because she's good at it, then is that really a cause for disrespect between the couple?
You cannot love someone and in so doing, hope to change them, but can only accept them for who they are today.

In the case you put forward, perhaps you could have said ”respect them for who they are today”
As if it is love, is acceptance enough ? What about tomorrow and the next.

[Curvaceous Kate]

In the case you put forward, perhaps you could have said ”respect them for who they are today”
As if it is love, is acceptance enough ? What about tomorrow and the next.

It's funny how 'love' and 'respect' get mixed up and confused. You can love someone without truly respecting them and you can respect someone without loving them. However love and respect together is the strongest combination.

If you fall in love with a sex worker and you are totally aware of what they do for a living at that point, then you can not put conditions on that love. You have to be able to love them regardless of what they do and then if that person loves you back they need to be able to love and respect you regardless of the fact that they met you as a client or person who has been a client for others.

I personally think true love can see the difference between a sexual act and love itself, which are totally different things. If you can accept that they bare no comparison, then why should you not believe that the person you love is able to be mentally faithful to you? If you are both mentally on the same wave length, then you will not be disrespecting each other, but working together to make the relationship work, make compromise where necessary and respect past and future commitments already made.

Just because you have fallen in love with someone, does not mean that you can just 'stop' working and even if you were able to support the person working as a Sex worker, how does that value their Independence? How does that show respect to the person that you met and fell in love with? How does that help them achieve their long term goals?

In my mind the 'love' is the easy bit. It's putting your feelings and emotions second in order to let the person you love flourish and achieve their goals in order to have a future together that shows real respect and compassion. If you can support that person in anyway you can, then the future goals belong to both of you and that future may or may not involve one partner being a sex worker, but that would be something you agree upon together and based on what is right for the two of you. It's not about wanting to change the person you fell in love with, as much as growing together as a couple and the stronger you are the more respect you have for each other.

On a last note. I do wonder how someone who offers sexual services, could not respect someone who would allow them to do their job while in a relationship, bearing in mine most clients are in a relationship? Does that mean they have no respect for the majority of their clients? Just a thought.

[EIFII]

In the case you put forward, perhaps you could have said ”respect them for who they are today”
As if it is love, is acceptance enough ? What about tomorrow and the next.

Whilst I agree with your point, it was not the point I was making in my previous point. Accept who your partner is, I do not have the right to expect her to change....

[EIFII]

It's funny how 'love' and 'respect' get mixed up and confused. You can love someone without truly respecting them and you can respect someone without loving them. However love and respect together is the strongest combination.

If you fall in love with a sex worker and you are totally aware of what they do for a living at that point, then you can not put conditions on that love. You have to be able to love them regardless of what they do and then if that person loves you back they need to be able to love and respect you regardless of the fact that they met you as a client or person who has been a client for others.

I personally think true love can see the difference between a sexual act and love itself, which are totally different things. If you can accept that they bare no comparison, then why should you not believe that the person you love is able to be mentally faithful to you? If you are both mentally on the same wave length, then you will not be disrespecting each other, but working together to make the relationship work, make compromise where necessary and respect past and future commitments already made.

Just because you have fallen in love with someone, does not mean that you can just 'stop' working and even if you were able to support the person working as a Sex worker, how does that value their Independence? How does that show respect to the person that you met and fell in love with? How does that help them achieve their long term goals?

In my mind the 'love' is the easy bit. It's putting your feelings and emotions second in order to let the person you love flourish and achieve their goals in order to have a future together that shows real respect and compassion. If you can support that person in anyway you can, then the future goals belong to both of you and that future may or may not involve one partner being a sex worker, but that would be something you agree upon together and based on what is right for the two of you. It's not about wanting to change the person you fell in love with, as much as growing together as a couple and the stronger you are the more respect you have for each other.

On a last note. I do wonder how someone who offers sexual services, could not respect someone who would allow them to do their job while in a relationship, bearing in mine most clients are in a relationship? Does that mean they have no respect for the majority of their clients? Just a thought.

TL;DR
however from your first paragraph, I completely disagree. I read a book years ago called the five love languages. How does someone show that she loves me? By showing me respect and physical affection. Those are my two "love languages". For me at least, love and respect are inextricably linked

[Curvaceous Kate]

TL;DR
however from your first paragraph, I completely disagree. I read a book years ago called the five love languages. How does someone show that she loves me? By showing me respect and physical affection. Those are my two "love languages". For me at least, love and respect are inextricably linked

Then you do actually agree with me, as I say it is possible to love someone without respecting them and visa versa, but the love that will stand the test of time requires both. This is why sometimes we may feel love towards someone, but it will never work, because the mindset is wrong. You hear the phrase 'it was not meant to me', or 'it would have never worked', because where the feeling of love may be real enough, there is something missing and that is often the ability to respect the person on a mental level.

So I suppose what I'm saying is that the two love languages need to be combined for it to work and this is why some people on this site could not form a relationship with a sex worker, they don't respect them for the job that they do, or conversely for being a client.

[EIFII]

Then you do actually agree with me, as I say it is possible to love someone without respecting them and visa versa, but the love that will stand the test of time requires both. This is why sometimes we may feel love towards someone, but it will never work, because the mindset is wrong. You hear the phrase 'it was not meant to me', or 'it would have never worked', because where the feeling of love may be real enough, there is something missing and that is often the ability to respect the person on a mental level.

So I suppose what I'm saying is that the two love languages need to be combined for it to work and this is why some people on this site could not form a relationship with a sex worker, they don't respect them for the job that they do, or conversely for being a client.

No. Love is not a "love language" to be combined with respect as you suggest. Respect, physical affection, providing security are three of the love languages by which someone may express love for another.
In the phrases you quote, like "it was never meant to be" I would doubt was ever love. Infatuation or lust maybe, but not love.

[Curvaceous Kate]

No. Love is not a "love language" to be combined with respect as you suggest. Respect, physical affection, providing security are three of the love languages by which someone may express love for another.
In the phrases you quote, like "it was never meant to be" I would doubt was ever love. Infatuation or lust maybe, but not love.

I'm not sure. There is definitely a fine line and working out the difference between infatuation and love can be difficult when you are in that situation. I know that I've always thought true love had to be reciprocated for it to really exist, but then you often have a situation where one person needs the other more, so is that still love? or is that more about emotional, physical or financial dependents?

Then you can ask yourself what is the difference between someone you love as a partner and someone you love as a family member or a friend? I know that I love my Son unconditionally, but also when he makes me proud and my respect for him as a person grows, I feel a pang of love for him that makes it feel even stronger and more alive. He has recently done something that gave me that feeling, at continually re-affirms my love for him. Perhaps this is more necessary with a partner though, as love often fades with disappointment.

My Grandparents were married until death do us part and you could sense the love that they had for each other. It was there without words, with no doubts or struggles, but their daily actions towards each other said it all. I know that my Gran respected my Grandad, because her whole life revolved around making him happy and he worked hard to give her a good quality of life. You never felt vulnerable around them, as they were rock solid.

Respect is not something that is just expressed, it has to exist or the balance isn't there and the walls will crumble.

[40odd]

Out of the question,once a whore
always a whore.Thats it.
Don't get me wrong please,there
a few ladies I visit from time to time I care for deeply,and I
would try to help if I could.
But there's no way,I'd ever get involved
romantically.Thats just the way I roll.

I don't think I can take this guy and his reviews seriously, his comments and reviews strike me as tongue in cheek. I can not believe someone who would be that narcissistic would be unaware that he is coming over like a 70's CH4 comedy character. Usually people whose character exhibit these flaws, hide it well. I picture Alan Partridge in his leather thong as I read his contributions I hope it is done with a sense of humour as I had a good chuckle

[40odd]

[QUOTE=Stephanie;1461010]I commend all the guys who are so openminded as to see us as a human being first and foremost , job notwithstanding.

I am sure some don't but how does any person here who is a client not see the ladies here as anything other then human beings first and foremost. I would expect that from ill informed policy makers, social commentators and people who would have us all on our knees reciting the rosary twice a day.
Having said that I could never marry an escort who was working, as to marry her I would need to be in love with her. I could just not handle the fears, jealousy, resentment and eventually anger that my perception of sharing her would bring.