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Thread: A Brush with the Law

  1. #1
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    Smile A Brush with the Law

    This is a fictional account of what might happen if the New Law comes in!!
    Just something to brighten up this damp and dreary morning

    My apologies in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors!!


    Garda; Excuse me Sir, can I ask where you’re going?

    Best Before; You can…

    Garda; Where are you going?

    Best Before; Into those apartments there.

    Garda; Who are you going to see?

    Best Before; A friend.

    Garda; I See.. What’s his or her Name?

    Best Before; Sophie.

    Garda; And second Name?

    Best Before; Sophie Ex.

    Garda; So you’re going to Visit an Escort!!

    Best Before; What do you mean Garda?

    Garda; Oh Nothing, so what apartment does she stay in?

    Best Before; I don’t know, she hasn’t told me yet!!

    Garda; That’s a bit strange don’t you think?

    Best Before; Not really, she’s a big tease…

    Garda; So you say, she’s your friend but you have never meet her before!!

    Best Before; I have met her before just not in these apartments. The last time was in a luxury apartment in the center of Dublin.

    Garda; So she’s a touring Escort!!

    Best Before; What do you mean?...

    Garda; Ahh…

    Best Before; She travels around on Business.

    Garda; Ohh I see, and what’s her line of business?

    Best Before; Sales.

    Garda; And what does she sell?

    Best Before; She could sell shoes!!

    Garda; Okay, and Can I ask what’s in the bag?

    Best Before; Shoes…

    Garda; And why does she want more shoes?

    Best Before; You really don’t know anything about women do you Garda!!!

    Garda; Ahh I’m married I will have you know?

    Best Before; Happily??

    Garda; ENOUGH, I ask the questions around here.. why are you giving her shoes?

    Best Before; It’s her Birthday…. again.

    Garda; Okay, and what’s age is she?

    Best Before; Still 28!!

    Garda; How could she still be 28?

    Best Before; I will let you ask her that!!

    Garda; Hum Okay… Sooo where did you meet her?

    Best Before; Online.

    Garda; So you meet her on Escort Ireland!!

    Best Before; What’s Escort Ireland?

    Garda; Jeez…

    Best Before; Are we near finished here Garda I’m on the Clock!!

    Garda; Just a few more questions!! Where does she come from?

    Best Before; England and Poland mainly !!

    Garda; How can she be from 2 different places?

    Best Before; You better ask her Garda!!

    Garda; You’re a bit of a smart arse, aren’t you?

    Best Before; Do you want me to answer that Garda?

    Garda; No… A few more questions and you can be on your way. What’s in the Envelope?

    Best Before; Cash

    Garda; So you’re going to pay for sex!!

    Best Before; What do you mean!!!!

    Garda; FORGET IT… What’s the cash for? Humour me!!

    Best Before; It’s for showering and Laundry!!

    Garda; Wait… You have to use her shower?

    Best Before; Yes she always insists I take a shower when I visit her, I don’t know what it is… I think she might have a bit of that OCD or something!!

    Garda; Right I seeeee…. And the laundry costs.

    Best Before; It’s to pay for the towels I use to dry myself obviously, although the price she charges I could have several hundred showers at home and at least 20 trips to the launderette for the same price!! Next time I should get her to do an Outcall.

    Garda; OUTCALL, you just said OUTCALL!!

    Best Before; NO… I said… I should get her… to call out to me next time!! Is everything okay Officer?

    Garda; So you’re not going in there to visit an Escort to pay for Sex?

    Best Before; What do you mean!!!!!!!!

    Garda; Sigh… Be on your way and have a good day.

    Best Before; Don’t worry I will Garda

    Garda; Prick….
    Last edited by Best Before; 28-10-14 at 12:01.
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” - Oscar Wilde

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  3. #2
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    You are such an lick arse!

    Very funny tho

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Rachel Divine For This Useful Post:

    Best Before (28-10-14), greenie (28-10-14), Escort AdvertiserSophieX (28-10-14), Escort AdvertiserStephanie (29-10-14), tom rambo (28-10-14)

  5. #3
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    You spelt her name wrong so it will be thrown out of court anyway
    (Guessing youre off work today and it raining? )

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to xagerate For This Useful Post:

    Alex.xx (28-10-14), Best Before (28-10-14)

  7. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel Divine View Post
    You are such an lick arse!

    Very funny tho
    Guilty as charged Rach. How are you keeping Babe?
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” - Oscar Wilde

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Best Before For This Useful Post:

    tom rambo (28-10-14)

  9. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by xagerate View Post
    You spelt her name wrong so it will be thrown out of court anyway
    (Guessing youre off work today and it raining? )
    The stupid bastard didn't even ask my name, I would have given him JAMES CORK!!
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” - Oscar Wilde

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Best Before For This Useful Post:

    Alex.xx (28-10-14)

  11. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Best Before View Post
    The stupid bastard didn't even ask my name, I would have given him JAMES CORK!!
    Guilty without trial so..............straight to the gallows!
    (Remember to leave the evidence (Shoes) for the lady to collect once you are sent down)

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    Best Before (28-10-14), tom rambo (28-10-14)

  13. #7
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    More shoes...
    Time and companionship

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to SophieX For This Useful Post:

    Best Before (28-10-14)

  15. #8
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    I LOL'd

    Very good.....

    But I presume things might be slightly different when the law does change!

  16. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to jamieboyo For This Useful Post:

    Best Before (28-10-14), redone7010 (28-10-14), tom rambo (28-10-14)

  17. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Best Before View Post

    Best Before; It’s her Birthday…. again.

    Garda; Okay, and what’s age is she?

    Best Before; Still 28!!

    Garda; How could she still be 28?

    Best Before; I will let you ask her that!!
    i really should turn 29 soon...
    Time and companionship

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SophieX For This Useful Post:

    Alex.xx (28-10-14), tom rambo (28-10-14)

  19. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by SophieX View Post
    i really should turn 29 soon...
    Perfect excuse for yet another pair

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