dr love (27-08-13)
First you need to meet this girl for a chat. Get to know her a bit. Then if that was going well I would start slowly maybe kiss cuddle regular sex. If after that you are both happy to go further begin with light stuff. I don't think being outted is the issue, its developing enough trust in the other person to allow them to take control. I hope this is helpful.
If she has never done any domination before, you could find yourself in a very difficult position, with regards to bruises etc, which might give you away more than anything else. She knows nothing about your pain threshold and has no experience as to how to dominate you. To me this would be far riskier and concerning than being 'outed'.
You can find lists online for submission and domination that you fill in and rank what you would like to do, what you would do and what you would not do. It would be a good idea for you to find one of these lists and you both fill them in and swap them, so that you are both fully aware of what your expectations are and what is a real no, no.
Also, she needs to test the water to see where your pain threshold is, which is done by maybe spanking or using a flogger and getting you to to say how painful it was for you using 0 as not at all and 10 as unbearable. That way she should stay within your limits and of course as already mentioned you have to have a safe word.
I have done what you are suggesting quite a few years ago, way before I became an Escort and the meeting went very well. We chatted a little while in a generic setting (bar) and he tested the water a little with me first and then he suggested going for a drive in his car. I won't tell you what happened from there lol, but it left a lasting impression on me (I was playing the sub role).
I also met another guy come to think of it and also although he was ok and we got on, it became evident during the meeting that although he had agreed to switch so I could be submissive now and again, he really wanted me to be dominant and that wasn't really what I wanted, so we didn't meet again.
I am wondering if it is a good idea to go into this blindly. Maybe better to book a Domme first and experience what it is like to be submissive first hand before meeting up with her, so you have an idea of what should happen. That way if she goes too far or gets it wrong you have something to level the experience on. Good luck x
Larrii (28-08-13)