E-I December Competition
The E-I December Competition is now open for entries.
250 Shiny Ones Up For Grabs
Funniest and Raunchiest Christmas Tale
(An idea by Wingman)
Using pictures and comments like a story board create your Christmas Tale. Funniest and Raunchiest wins.
One Entry Per Person.
All entries must be your own work.
Competition closes for entries on Monday 24 December at Midnight
Result to be announced on Friday 28 December
Please read the Competition Rules before posting your entry.
Good Luck Everyone.
Last edited by magicalman9357; 04-12-12 at 12:35.
client030314 (22-12-12), mer (04-12-12), TomEA (04-12-12)
Just to remind everyone that entries should contain pictures as well as your story.
mer (05-12-12)
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.
A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.
He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!
dr love (23-12-12), mer (07-12-12), Shrozinger (17-12-12), Svetlana (10-12-12)
Am i correct is saying we need 10 entries to make this a genuine competition? #rules
Archived User
Certified E-I Addict
Yes, you are correct.Originally Posted by jamie quinn
jamie quinn (20-12-12), magicalman9357 (20-12-12)
Fairytale of Cork
It was Christmas Eve babe,
Left the laptop on,
My old lady said Tom,
What the f##k is E-I.com,
I knew I was in the wrong,
I got away with it for too long,
She took the kids away,
So I logged straight..... back on,
They've got girls who are young,
They've got girls who are old,
They've got girls who will do stuff that should never be told,
When I first found the site on a cold Christmas Eve,
Killed two birds with one stone coz the wife finally left me,
They've got girls with big t###ies,
In all major cities,
And if you find one you like you can go back for more,
Loads of good looking women,
Very few of them are minging,
Just remember they're escorts and never call them a w##e
And I thank my lucky stars that I found this website, every day,
Now I have to go to pick a girl for Christmas day
client030314 (22-12-12), dr love (23-12-12), ryder (25-12-12)
The Competition is now closed. Thank you all for your entries.
Was there enough entries?
Afraid not Nason. Minimum of 10 entries for the competition to be valid. Sorry to those who made the effort to enter.
Special allowances for Christmas??
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