When I was a boy (and a hell of a lot cuter than I am now), I had a teddy bear named Grimace. He was a big bastard, about three feet tall and very plump. He was coloured a creamy beige all over, except for his paws, which were white.
Grimace sat in a wicker chair in my childhood room. Later, I would lump him anywhere, including sending him for a spell into the attic, to live in the draughts and the dark amongst the spiders, and listen to us laughing down below. I always took him out of the attic eventually, and he eventually became part of the furniture, lounging around wherever anyone put him.
He was called Grimace, but he wasn't angry or anything. He had a nice, neutral teddy bear expression, with deep two-tone plastic brown eyes.
When I was twelve, I started to molest Grimace.
I was hitting puberty, you see, and hadn't a clue what to make of all these testosterone raging through my veins. I didn't even know how to masturbate properly. I would just as soon have tweaked my elbow as stroked my balls in order to get some sexual excitement.
One day, I started to rub myself against Grimace. It became a regular thing - I used to pretend he was girls I knew, or wished I knew, or celebs I thought were sexy, or friends of my mum.
One day, whilst dry humping Grimace in the spare room, I blew my load all over him. It was the first time it ever happened. I didn't know what was happening. I tried to stop, but you know what it's like - at the point of ejaculation, wild horses couldn't make my arse go backwards. I was terrified my mum would find out, but she never noticed.
Grimace lives in the attic now. Under a white sheet. I don't think he'll be coming out again.
So what's your story?