trugent

I was recently a “spectator” to a debate among some people I know about trafficking. It got me thinking about this issue, and what we could be talking about that changes the debate.
Don’t get me wrong. It is completely and sickeningly wrong that any lady is subjected to violence, threats to herself or her family or any sort of restriction of movement that forces her into prostitution. Every instance should be treated as a crime and everyone involved in escorting should do everything possible to stop it. This is one end of the spectrum. At the other end is the truly “independent” escort – a lady who controls exactly what she does in every way. In the middle is the difficult “grey area”, where the definition of trafficking gets murky.
The grey area is around “assistance” – where a lady is helped in some way to make her way to Ireland and become an escort. As we all experience in life, as soon as we are assisted in any formal or informal way, we are likely to feel a level of obligation... and obligation may drive us to do something we don’t necessarily want to do.
An obvious example of this is when a lady takes a loan to support her travelling and setting herself up as an escort. Where a person in a different country (say Romania) sets up a “business” loaning money to ladies at high rates of interest ( say 15%), knowing they will use the loans to be an escort– that sounds like trafficking. A lady funds her expenses to get to Ireland on a credit card – that does not sound like trafficking, but she will still be under huge pressure to repay the card at “extortionate” rates of interest (20%+!!), creating an obligation to earn money through escorting. Visa may not consider themselves as “traffickers”, but they would still pursue the repayment of the loan with every legal power at their disposal and write some pretty nasty letters in the process.
Another example – a business person organises a “tour”, booking flights and accommodation and advertising and accompanying the lady on the trip, taking a fee for doing this – feels a lot like trafficking or pimping. But if a person agrees to travel to Ireland with a friend on an escorting tour which that friend does all the organising for, there will still be a level of emotional obligation to follow through with the trip if the friend wants to see it out. This does not feel like trafficking, but the affect on the person may not be too far away.
So the debate is difficult.
For me a simpler focus is to ensure everyone in escorting has an ability to say “no more” at any time. The definition of the truly independent escort is “I can say no more, and make it so”. This may be difficult and will involve a big change in lifestyle, but it should be possible.
How do we support every escort in this?
For the punter, the golden rule applies.... If the escort says “no”, then “no” is the answer. Respect the escort means giving the time space and freedom to say “no” – setting whatever physical or emotional power you have to one side and listening to what the escort has to say. But the punter can only really act in the moment of meeting.
For EI, and escorts themselves... I am ignorant of what support is available, so cannot comment. I would only suggest that you look at the ways you support each other, both emotionally and economically, and ask yourselves “Are we really doing all we could possibly do”. EI is the most successful escorting site in Ireland partly because it creates the “community”, rather than just being a plain “advertising” vehicle – it needs to fully embrace a support role that this entails. It may do this, in which case, bravo! It may want to, but feel constrained by legalities... then get imaginative!!
For those who campaign against escorting on the basis of the welfare, set up the independent support mechanisms required to give practical economic and emotional help. Accept that it is everyone’s right to try escorting if they choose to, and everyone’s right to say no more at any time – be that 1 day, 10 days, 100 days or 1000 days. Set the moral debate to one side and truly support welfare.
I write this to stimulate thinking and reaction, so if you have taking the time to read it and want to respond, please do. I write this because the debate I listened to the other day was so ill-informed and tangled up in people’s sense of morality, it got nowhere.... my hope is this gets us somewhere.

Next time I will try to write something a bit lighter, and maybe even amusing... but no promises!!