Patriciaparis

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.

Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT !".

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears ...

A woman buys a new sim card, puts it in her phone to surprise her husband who is seated on the couch in the living room.
She goes to the kitchen, makes her voice sexy & calls her husband with the new number "hi darling",
The husband responds in a low tone "let me call you back later honey, that pig is in the kitchen

“Money is the ultimate aphrodisiac someone once said” authenticity embodied this statement I will acknowledge- though very vomit inducing in the instance I want to painstakingly talk about it.

What is wrong with this society, all the wealthy and renowned men and lately women?

He said-she said is now turning into he sexed-she sexed? Whatz up with all the sex scandals and betrayals? It’s doing my head in aaaarrrrrhhhhhggggg!!!!. Can I turn the news papers in the morning ...

OK THIS IS WHACK.

THIS JOBLESS GUY IN CHARLOTTE NC GOT ILL,WENT TO HOSPITAL AND DISCOVERED THAT THE COST OF CURE WAS TOO HIGH.

SO HE WALKED INTO A BANK AND TENDERED A NOTE TO THE TELLER. IT SAID "THIS IS A BANK ROBBERY.PLEASE GIVE ME $1.00". THE TELLER GAVE HIM $1.00 AND ALERTED THE COPS.HE SAT AND WAITED FOR THEM. THEY CAME AND TOOK HIM TO JAIL AND NOW HE'S BEING TREATED THERE FOR FREE.

THERE'S SOMETHING FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG WITH A SOCIETY THAT ...

A woman writes to her Office IT Technical support:


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the Flower And Jewelry Applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs ...