View Full Version : should I tell her?
experienced punter
24-04-09, 09:04
Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?:o
Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?:o
Sorry EP but your taking the piss right?? Tell her, hell no, it doesn't matter how open minded she is you admit to sleeping with an escort and it's bye bye's. Just pick a reasonable number but no more than 5 and make shit up...
Irish Aeilis
24-04-09, 09:19
Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?:o
ok so even though people are open minded unfortunately women when it comes to escorts can be quite close minded so i would think that telling her would not be the best option.however i dont see why you shouldnt be honest with your true number?
your a man,you like sex,if you have a big number that maybe explained by not settling with the right woman,not fallin in love and if you have a smaller number then that could be explained with the fact that maybe you had long term relationships that didnt work out?
a large number does not scare us off and to be homest if a guy usually has a big number we think he's just trying to impress us with a vast (imaginary) sex life.:D
lies never get you anywhere,so tell your real number,if she completely freaks out then maybe you should start rethinking if shes the one for you???
your agony aunt always:D:D:D
So x
Sorry EP but your taking the piss right?? Tell her, hell no, it doesn't matter how open minded she is you admit to sleeping with an escort and it's bye bye's. Just pick a reasonable number but no more than 5 and make shit up...
Agree totally! Tell her about the escorts and its YouTube - Good Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MngGyN8Q294)
But then again dont they say all relationships are built on trust and honesty!
Maybe some of the women can help you out on this one ????
experienced punter
24-04-09, 09:22
Sorry EP but your taking the piss right?? Tell her, hell no, it doesn't matter how open minded she is you admit to sleeping with an escort and it's bye bye's. Just pick a reasonable number but no more than 5 and make shit up...
I'm not messing u see I'm fuckin guilt ridden:o
Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?:o
NO with a capital N and O! do you think telling her will score you some points in her good books? more like minus 1000 points!
How about she tells you she slept with a few hundred men and uses male escorts?, that would put me off quite a good bit.
You will gain nothing telling her or anyone, nobody will respect that, I wouldnt even tell my best friend, in my life only I know and it has to stay that way.
I'm not messing u see I'm fuckin guilt ridden:o
Ahh see thts where your going wong:) You need to kill tht mother fuking Conscience right away. "killing it, will set you free" :D
I'm not messing u see I'm fuckin guilt ridden:o
Guilt is in your conscious mind and infested your subconscious mind, as soon as guilt plays your head you have to distract yourself with other thoughts to break this guilt ridden thinking pattern.
I'm not messing u see I'm fuckin guilt ridden:o
Tell her you are a sex addict in recovery, and too many questions may hamper your recovery!
I'm not messing u see I'm fuckin guilt ridden:o
I sympathies but tell her about the escort side of your sex life and not only guilt ridden you will be but single also, besides why be guilty, you didn't sleep with an escort while you were in a relationship? Sleeping with an escort is nothing to be ashamed off, they are flesh and blood and at least are honest about the cost of sleeping with them, no sex is free....
carlos marvado
24-04-09, 09:35
Tell her the real number e.p. (just don't say that a lot of these were escorts) and she'll probably think that you're boasting and won't believe you. On the off chance that she does believe you, tell her that in your younger days you were a bit of a jack the lad, but that you have now matured and feel the need the settle down and put down some roots.
P.S. I hope you're not too young, so that there is a respectable timespan between your "younger days" and the present. :D:D:D
But on the other hand, you could always confess to being a sex addict, but that since you have met her, she has totally changed your outlook.
Sorry EP but your taking the piss right?? Tell her, hell no, it doesn't matter how open minded she is you admit to sleeping with an escort and it's bye bye's. Just pick a reasonable number but no more than 5 and make shit up...
Oh dear... If max 5 is what's considered acceptable these days, I am soooooooooooo going to hell :eek:
Tell her the real number e.p. (just don't say that a lot of these were escorts) and she'll probably think that you're boasting and won't believe you. On the off chance that she does believe you, tell her that in your younger days you were a bit of a jack the lad, but that you have now matured and feel the need the settle down and put down some roots.
P.S. I hope you're not too young, so that there is a respectable timespan between your "younger days" and the present. :D:D:D
But on the other hand, you could always confess to being a sex addict, but that since you have met her, she has totally changed your outlook.
You could do all tht e.p and bore the girl to tears! where there is a good chance she will leave you anyway or you could just stick your mickey in her every time she asks and hope tht your good enough to distract long enough so she forgets the original question.
anitasizzle
24-04-09, 09:39
Are you stupid are what? Hell no don't tell her that you've been seeing escorts, and don't let her know that you're a recovery PORN addict or show her your substantial Porn collection.
She's fishing around to see whether or not you're a ''WHOCHE MAMA''-male hoe:p
Oh dear... If max 5 is what's considered acceptable these days, I am soooooooooooo going to hell :eek:
I think anon means per day pat! But tht still leaves you fuked(lol) and going straight to hell.
experienced punter
24-04-09, 09:49
Are you stupid are what? Hell no don't tell her that you've been seeing escorts, and don't let her know that you're a recovery PORN addict or show her your substantial Porn collection.
She's fishing around to see whether or not you're a ''WHOCHE MAMA''-male hoe:p
No look its nothing to do with being stupid not at all its just I'm that kinda person we're all different I was on the brink of going to tell her lastnite more Womens opinions pls
anitasizzle
24-04-09, 10:02
No look its nothing to do with being stupid not at all its just I'm that kinda person we're all different I was on the brink of going to tell her lastnite more Womens opinions pls
I understand your dilemma, some Working girls don't think one should tell potential partners that one is or had been a prostitute. I've always been of the school of thought that one should, but now I'm starting to realize that not everybody is MATURE ENOUGH FOR THE THRUTH:)
Guilt is in your conscious mind and infested your subconscious mind, as soon as guilt plays your head you have to distract yourself with other thoughts to break this guilt ridden thinking pattern.
Using the above mind set...if you tell her, all she will remember from now on when you are having sex...or an argument....or anytime good or bad, is that you slept with escorts. She will think...you pay girls for sex! She will not see that these girls are lovely, good looking and sweet. She will see them as abused, manipulated poor little girls that you have exploited.
As Silo said...guilt is in your consious mind....tell her and it will be in her subconcious mind. Meaning that you can get rid of you guilt by not letting the thought go any further and dismiss it but it will go into her memory bank for ever and even if you do not last she will have to tell someone of your secert who will tell someone else and so it will continue....
Do Not Tell Anyone! they can use it against you if you fall out, even your best friend can backstab you with this type of information if he fancied your wife in the future, trust no one!
experienced punter
24-04-09, 10:23
Using the above mind set...if you tell her, all she will remember from now on when you are having sex...or an argument....or anytime good or bad, is that you slept with escorts. She will think...you pay girls for sex! She will not see that these girls are lovely, good looking and sweet. She will see them as abused, manipulated poor little girls that you have exploited.
As Silo said...guilt is in your consious mind....tell her and it will be in her subconcious mind. Meaning that you can get rid of you guilt by not letting the thought go any further and dismiss it but it will go into her memory bank for ever and even if you do not last she will have to tell someone of your secert who will tell someone else and so it will continue....
great answer
I've taken a day off work due to the stress of this situation:(
great answer
I've taken a day off work due to the stress of this situation:(
Don't stress so much honey. Obviously you like this lady a lot, but it is still quite early days for you. I say if she can't accept you the way you are, she is not the lady for you, BUT I don't think you need to make a FULL CONFESSION today. Take it easy, get to know her better first!
wake up man , get a grip on your self. are you seriously mad or just on the speedy way there. i am glad you are in a happy place at the moment with your lady friend. stay happy....
keep your mouth SHUT. A CLOSED MOUTH CATCHES NO FLIES...she is fishing to see what kind of real man you are before she goes to the next stage of the relationship...tell her what she needs to hear (or wants to hear) she wants to know that she is with a man, but she dosent really want to know to much. tell her you enjoyed life and led a healthy sex life, some serious ,some not so serious. give her a number if she pressed.not to high (or else you have no respect) not to low (or else you are a pussy, as to being a lover of pussy)
what you have done in the past i take as a hobby has led only to enjoyment for you ,with no body being hurt , so why let it hurt you now.
ENJOY IT AND RIDE LIKE THE WIND.....
plus with this so called recession all your sex will be FREE (but man always pays someway)
hope this goes some way to help your little problem.
my next advice , i must charge a small fee. but i know you are good for it....;)
regards:rolleyes:
I GIVE GOOD ADVICE ON ALL PROBLEMS , ITS WHAT I GET PAID TO DO...ha ha
regards:rolleyes::cool:
All I can say to you Mr. Britvic is "Og itch ee plov, tee ra nee sy" !!
dom
Kerrybeagle
24-04-09, 11:18
[QUOTE=Wildthang;81375] But then again dont they say all relationships are built on trust and honesty! [QUOTE]
Anyone who tells you this is either lying or else doesn't have very long relationships.
All relationships are built on knowing what to tell and what to keep secret to avoid hurting the other person. I'm married 22 years and love my wife, but she's crap at sex. My relationship has only been happy since I started satisfying that part of my needs elsewhere. Don't do it, don't tell her. She does not even want to know the truth; her question is exactly like the "Does my bum look big in this?" question - she already knows the reply she wants and any other answer will piss her off big time.
PS - still and all, the sex-adict answer does appeal to my ego!
Alec Horan
24-04-09, 11:41
Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?:o
DO NOT tell her about the escorts - NO WAY - I cannot stress that enough. Tell her you're a virgin, seriously ! Lie and there is a chance that ye will both be happy, Tell the truth and its all downhill from here on in.
Remember people tend to believe what they like to believe , never mind the facts and all that crap.
Karin Kiss
24-04-09, 11:48
Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?:o
Tell her that you slept with quite a few ladies. Do not give her the exact / estimate number if this number is bigger then let's say ... 30- 40 women.
If it's any bigger, she may not trust you enough to have a serious relationship, she'll probably be afraid that you'll be looking soon for other conquests.
In any situation, do not tell her that you slept with escorts. We are women like all other women and excepting the straight forward money arrangements :D, there is nothing you could do with any of us that you theoretically won't be able to do with any non escort lady if she is a bit open minded. Telling her about the escorts may make her a little self conscious about her own appearance and sexual performance, even if she is drop dead gorgeous and excellent in bed :). Not sure if she is the type, but she may not approve seeing escorts if she has very strong moral or religious values. In any case, I would say a big NO to the escort part.
Now ... my advice is based on the presumption that she is a nice girl ... enjoying the usual nice girly stuff and wanting a serious monogamous relationship :)
If she is anything like I used to be before becoming an escort .... tell her everything ... and make sure you include loads of kinky details and practical demonstrations :D :p :D
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 12:54
, :o
I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks
Whats her name Jacobs??
A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?'
She sounds a little insecure.A confident woman would care less about your past.
I kinda changed the subject
Bad move.Dont ever do that with a woman.By avoiding the subject ,you maintain it on the agenda.
but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer
She has either being hurt a bit in the past and doesnt want a repeat of it or she is simply a little insecure.If those are her actually words,how many women you slept with.Women would word that a bit different.
, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts
Its only lately she is close to you so i see two probs here.
First one is she wont know wether you saw those escorts behind a gfs back or not.Whether you did or not ,she doesnt know and can only take your word for it.So inless your a very honest type from the beginning ,telling her could arouse this suspcion.
Number two is the paying aspect.A woman would get over a guy seeing an escort in his past ,as long as it wasnt behind someones back but some,not all,but some could wonder how responsable a guy is.Dating and getting close to a guy is a very big thing for a woman and most guys just dont realise that.Women dont want a guy that spends all his money on rubbish unless its her rubbish.women want a guy that is there for her,will talk or listen to her,will help her out and one who is in control and responsable.
I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be
And we do?
This is causing me sleepless nights
You dont have enough problems so.
Should I tell her?
From reading your post i wouldnt right now to be honest.You dont know each other well well and this is obvious from her asking you this kind of question so soon into a relationship and by you not knowing what her reaction would be.
You already changed the subject and dont do it again.Best thing is to play it safe if your in doubt.
I told a few girls i met that i saw escorts and there wasnt any probs but most of these were just one night stands,sleep overs etc.
If i were with a girl a good while and she asked me it would depend on her type and i would know what type she is by then.
By the way,she is too loose tongued if you ask me.Your not together very long and generally you dont ask questions about exes or past partners so soon into a relationship but everyone is different and like i said she might only being trying to protect herself from being hurt etc. etc.
Thats my PHD in the bag,
Dr. Westside.
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 13:01
great answer
I've taken a day off work due to the stress of this situation:(
Jesus man your stress tolerance to fuckin low.Very low.Its a meditation course you should be asking us about.
She isnt in your life as a partner long enough to let it destroy your mind like this.Your getting too serious too soon and trust me when i say that can have a very bad affect on a relationship.
Its not like she called you a prick.Its only a question and give any old answer at all but the truth.
You know why?Because if you tell her the truth and she accepts it,it wont matter because youll be off work the following day then ,worrying about whether she will stay with you or not or what is on her mind.
Enjoy the realtionship in its infancy.Use a chill mond and relax and have fun and enjoy each others company.No need for to be getting so serious so soon.
enjoy the journey and youll arrive at the destination,
Westside.
PS if i was your employer id fire your arse out the door.What did you tell him?Flu?Menigitis?Anal Fisure?
thehighwayman
24-04-09, 13:09
Tell her how many non escorts you've seen but don't tell her about the escorts. Anyone that's not part of this world sees all this as been wrong. It's perfectly normal for all of us here. But for anyone outside the escorting world to know they wouldn't understand. She would think what's wrong with you for seeing escorts. Did you catch some std from them. She would think she's at risk and your some sort of weirdo. Why tell your girlfriend. Would you tell your friends or family. I don't think so. It'll spoil everything by teling her. I understand your need to be honest with her, but this is one thing not to tell her even if she is open minded. She won't trrust you again. She'll always think your seeing an escort on the sly. If you tell her you log in here from time to time she won't trust you. As she'll think you won't be able to resist seeingl these escorts who advertise here.
If your not going to heed mine and others advice then test the water. If escorting is mentioned on tv or in a newspaper article bring the subject up and see her opinion on girls that do this kind of work. And ask what she thinks of men that see escorts.
Well she asked HOW MANY,she didn't ask if they were escorts. The escort question would probably never come to her mind. So u should better keep it that way.
Regards the number i suggest to ask about her number first and then add 5, plus another one for each year or two u r older than her, if u know what i mean. So u should get an acceptable number to satisfy every woman's curiosity.
Me personaly, I dont really think this is anybody elses business and I would never ask for an exact no. I just wonder what I will say if my future fiance asks me:confused:
Maybe she's just asking for safety reasons and if u come out with a higher no. she will just suggest to go for std check, which is right.
the dark horse
24-04-09, 14:07
Tell her how many non escorts you've seen but don't tell her about the escorts. Anyone that's not part of this world sees all this as been wrong. It's perfectly normal for all of us here. But for anyone outside the escorting world to know they wouldn't understand. She would think what's wrong with you for seeing escorts. Did you catch some std from them. She would think she's at risk and your some sort of weirdo. Why tell your girlfriend. Would you tell your friends or family. I don't think so. It'll spoil everything by teling her. I understand your need to be honest with her, but this is one thing not to tell her even if she is open minded. She won't trrust you again. She'll always think your seeing an escort on the sly. If you tell her you log in here from time to time she won't trust you. As she'll think you won't be able to resist seeingl these escorts who advertise here.
If your not going to heed mine and others advice then test the water. If escorting is mentioned on tv or in a newspaper article bring the subject up and see her opinion on girls that do this kind of work. And ask what she thinks of men that see escorts.
think about the serious relationships you've had and count them. This is what you work off ONLY ANYONE YOU WENT OUT WITH FOR MORE THAN A YEAR THAT MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU. Women have memories like an elephant and passing comments regardless how trivial, they pick up on, a name, an event you went to,a wedding, who went with you, a holiday etc. women will set you up when you don't even realise. this is what you work on, it takes some memory to be a liar, just ask ninex3, he is the one that could advise you best,:D seriously though never tell her the number and no matter how tempted you are to mention an escort you have to think of the consequences it would have on your life, who she could say it to, who they would say it to....man it's not worth it, you're opening a can of worms and setting yourself up for a major fall, i promise you she will hold you as near in brackets to a paedophile . . .forget it!:eek:
Yes,i COMPLETELY agree with the dark horse,NEVER ever mention you visited escorts to a women,i dont care if she using guantanamo interrogation techniques.You can forget about any relationship with her if she knows.
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 15:11
Yes,i COMPLETELY agree with the dark horse,NEVER ever mention you visited escorts to a women,i dont care if she using guantanamo interrogation techniques.You can forget about any relationship with her if she knows.
Since the last Nov i have met three women who knew i saw escorts but also knew i never saw them while i dated or at that time or generally either.All three trusted me and all three believed me.
In case your wondering where they went,one was a distance problem,another was leaving to go to the US so rather wreck her head let her go and do as she planned and the last one we sort of drifted.In case your wondering two of them read this site.
Since the start of 2005 i reckon of the girls i met about 8 knew i used escorts.Bare in mind if you knew me and i said something you would believe me because i am very honest.
So nope not true at all in what your saying but there is a chance of ruining a relationship.Depends on the girl.
worse can happen,
Westside.
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 15:17
ask about her number first and then add 5, plus another one for each year or two u r older than her, if u know what i mean.
thats about another week of sleepless nights.Hey Ex,TV3 have a half decent mid week movie on every week on,yeah you guessed it,Wednesday.
He'll be counting the wrinkles on the blankets,
Westside.
PS who is to say that she isnt an escort herself and wondering if she should break the news to him?Another few nights gone there,sorry Ex.
Or imagine u 'll tell her and she replies she used to b one of us:D:D:D
Thats just another possibility. But anyway with such a kind of past u shouldnt b in hurry with telling the truth.
Wish u good luck:) and take it easy;)
experienced punter
24-04-09, 17:21
Jeez thanks to everyone for opinions I'm gonna say nothing about visiting escorts, no I never cheated behind a girlfriends back to answer a question then again I've avoided long term relationships by choice really
had an awful time early today going over this in my head:(
annasavicha
24-04-09, 17:35
Sorry EP but your taking the piss right?? Tell her, hell no, it doesn't matter how open minded she is you admit to sleeping with an escort and it's bye bye's. Just pick a reasonable number but no more than 5 and make shit up...
I been confessed to he slept with escorts I even knew which ones did it made me to run away ? No! EP! Do not listen to anyone....if u feel like telling do tell,if u think it a not right time, keep it for the right one.
annasavicha
24-04-09, 17:38
Yes,i COMPLETELY agree with the dark horse,NEVER ever mention you visited escorts to a women,i dont care if she using guantanamo interrogation techniques.You can forget about any relationship with her if she knows.
U all man are fools. I know and my one a stronger than ever. My other ex used escorts I did not care......,he can ride horse before me,......it s past so it shud not matter.....shud it?
experienced punter
24-04-09, 17:42
I been confessed to he slept with escorts I even knew which ones did it made me to run away ? No! EP! Do not listen to anyone....if u feel like telling do tell,if u think it a not right time, keep it for the right one.
Ah fuck it Anna I had my mind made up! dont create doubt again ya lovely woman u
thanks for your opinion anyway I'm off for a walk on the bridge now......
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 17:48
Jeez thanks to everyone for opinions I'm gonna say nothing about visiting escorts, no I never cheated behind a girlfriends back to answer a question then again I've avoided long term relationships by choice really
had an awful time early today going over this in my head:(
I can imagine it now ,in a candle lit cafe in Dublins bright light streets.
Mrs X : Whats wrong EP honey?You look very flushed.:o
EP: I have something to get off my chest.I have something to tell you.:(
Mrs X : Ah EP ,tell me what wrong?:confused:
EP: Well,well eh would you like more wine?:(
Mrs X : No im fine darling,tell me whats wrong????:)
EP: Well i have being seeing escorts in the past...................:o
Mrs X : I will have more wine plz yes.:)
EP: Why?Oh god are we finished.:(
Mrs X : Nope we are not.I have something to tell you too..............
EP: You do?I think ill have some more wine too:confused:
Mrs X : Well EPy honey.Remember the other night when we sat in the car having romantic bunny romps?
EP: Yes i do.Why?:confused:
Mrs X : Well remember when you caught the handbrake and i told you not to grip it so hard?:o
EP: Yes i do.:confused:
Mrs X : Well that was no handbrake,it was my nuts:)
The all new colt now at just 2999.99,
Westside.
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 18:01
Ah fuck it Anna I had my mind made up! dont create doubt again ya lovely woman u
thanks for your opinion anyway I'm off for a walk on the bridge now......
if you do tell her let us know how it works out ok.
YouTube - Mobile Life Ambulance Response (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YexybIxZW7k)
Westside.
EP this is a very complex matter that delves deep into the subconscious of many people who have repressed and unresolved emotional issues, that often revolve around guilt and they manifest themselves in the conscious mind as stress....
There's a few very simple questions to ask yourself that will make your decision easier but the most important is "is there anything to be gained by telling her?"
Ok so you feel guilty about things you've done in your past, but you must accept the fact that they are now in you past.........
Your right, feelings of guilt can be released by talking to someone and telling them what you feel guilty about, but you're new lady is not the one to tell......
If you don't tell her then you again feel guilty of lying to her...... Tough choice........
Really neither of you will gain anything by telling her about your punting, you may feel better for being honest, but the benefits of being economical with the truth far outweigh the damage that may be done.....
If you think the guilt that you feel from things you've done in your past in hindering your progression, either in your own life, in moving forward in a relationship, or both, then talk to someone......... but not her........
IMO, you won't gain enough by being honest with her to risk the damage you may do, I say you may do, because you could be lucky enough to have found a wonderful and understanding woman who may not judge you for things you've done in you past, after all you weren’t going out then, but if she really didn't care about your past she probably wouldn't have asked about it, or, she may just be asking because she may be feeling insecure about the lack of, or amount of experience she has......
In conclusion............ I wouldn't.....................:)
Sorry, I went on a bit there.................And good luck................
experienced punter
24-04-09, 18:19
EP this is a very complex matter that delves deep into the subconscious of many people who have repressed and unresolved emotional issues, that often revolve around guilt and they manifest themselves in the conscious mind as stress....
There's a few very simple questions to ask yourself that will make your decision easier but the most important is "is there anything to be gained by telling her?"
Ok so you feel guilty about things you've done in your past, but you must accept the fact that they are now in you past.........
Your right, feelings of guilt can be released by talking to someone and telling them what you feel guilty about, but you're new lady is not the one to tell......
If you don't tell her then you again feel guilty of lying to her...... Tough choice........
Really neither of you will gain anything by telling her about your punting, you may feel better for being honest, but the benefits of being economical with the truth far outweigh the damage that may be done.....
If you think the guilt that you feel from things you've done in your past in hindering your progression, either in your own life, in moving forward in a relationship, or both, then talk to someone......... but not her........
IMO, you won't gain enough by being honest with her to risk the damage you may do, I say you may do, because you could be lucky enough to have found a wonderful and understanding woman who may not judge you for things you've done in you past, after all you weren’t going out then, but if she really didn't care about your past she probably wouldn't have asked about it, or, she may just be asking because she may be feeling insecure about the lack of, or amount of experience she has......
In conclusion............ I wouldn't.....................:)
Sorry, I went on a bit there.................And good luck................
Thats fine Luther thanks I've changed my mind about going for a walk on the bridge instead I'll go to the Clarion hotel here its the tallest hotel in Ireland....
Tommy Singh
24-04-09, 18:32
Thats fine Luther thanks I've changed my mind about going for a walk on the bridge instead I'll go to the Clarion hotel here its the tallest hotel in Ireland....
if you get it across right to her ,it could show you up in a very good light.Honesty.This is one thing that very very few guys would say to a girl.I dont know you or how you express yourself but if you get it across right and also have valid reasons for doing it (if she asks) then you could look even better in her eyes because your being honest and its takes guts to be honest on such a topic.
Its up to you but i repeat what i said.She isnt in your life long enough to cause you such emotional distress.While this may sound uncaring its the truth.In fact its a rather premature q on her part considering you two arent together long.
Remember its not like your cheating on her and the fact that you fell bad about keeping this in means that you have genuine feelings for her and also have substance to you as a character.
If i were you ,knowing what i know of the situation from reading this ,i would hold off until you know her and how she reacts better.If you do tell her later then you can always state that you didnt want to hyrt her or cayse her upset.You can even refer her to this thread.Im serious.Any guy can talk but it takes a real man to walk regardless of the consequences.
There is a river by the Clarion in case your wondering,
Westside.
I'll go to the Clarion hotel here its the tallest hotel in Ireland....
Good idea, book a suite as a surprise for her, top floor for the great view, order room service and champers...
Wine dine and adult-69 her......:eek: ....... forget all the other stuff and enjoy new love......love1
I think you said this girl is a foreign national in which case she may not have the same morality issues as good Irish catholic girls.
However to be on the safe side at his stage I would not mention it as if you are that worried about it you don't seem confident that she will take it well.
Or you try sugar coating it like a story about lads weekend in Amsterdam everyone was doing it so you gave it a try if she doesn't freak out you can tell her about the other 476 escorts you seen since then.
By the way, do you even know the exact number? You can say u dont remember exactly and thats it. Problem solved. She didn't ask about escorts so there won't be any lying involved.
annasavicha
24-04-09, 19:07
Thats fine Luther thanks I've changed my mind about going for a walk on the bridge instead I'll go to the Clarion hotel here its the tallest hotel in Ireland....
If she rejects you,i m just behind the clarion by the way.....
annasavicha
24-04-09, 19:08
There is a river by the Clarion in case your wondering,
Westside.
And Anna is just behind the Clarion with the river beside it..........and anyone can tell me anything they want....i ll never judge........;):rolleyes::D
If she rejects you,i m just behind the clarion by the way.....
I think that's his plan Anna.....
He's on the roof in disguise looking at you now.......
http://badattitudes.com/MT/archives/nun%20binoculars.jpg
annasavicha
24-04-09, 19:17
Ummm.....i think i can kinda see him.....wait i ll run back in to put on my underpants it s raining and windy.........
You know the phrase ``the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth''? Well, in this case I would suggest telling the truth and nothing but the truth, but I think telling the whole truth is probably a bad idea. Don't lie to her. You'd feel like a louse, and you'd be right. You don't have to tell her everything, though. You could even tell her straight out that the subject of past sexual experiences, hers or yours, makes you uncomfortable and you would prefer to drop it.
Ummm.....i think i can kinda see him.....wait i ll run back in to put on my underpants it s raining and windy.........
Careful Anna..... Remember you can't fly..........
http://www5.scholastic.co.uk/zone/images/book%20zone/fiction8-12/captain-underpants_logo.jpg
annasavicha
24-04-09, 19:38
Ok,but if i wear bra instead??????????
Ok,but if i wear bra instead??????????
That might work..... Just be careful on the landing............
http://www.legaljuice.com/huge%20bra%20gigantic%20humongous%20large%20funny-thumb.jpg
annasavicha
24-04-09, 19:52
There s bank beside me,any chance we cud do that on the bank and bust my and your recession???
There s bank beside me,any chance we cud do that on the bank and bust my and your recession???
I tried that once......... it didn't work............
http://www.greenvilledailyphoto.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/20081016_bra_3_900x600.jpg
EP sorry this siuation is gettin you down. Never tell her you slept with escorts. If she wants a number give 2 up or down the number she slept with. Again a was said if an argument arises she will use the escort thing against you.
Best of Luck
experienced punter
27-04-09, 17:23
for anyone still interested I told the girlfriend I slept with 3 escorts in total over a few years she seemed ok with it I feel it could come back to haunt me though.....
annasavicha
27-04-09, 17:33
for anyone still interested I told the girlfriend I slept with 3 escorts in total over a few years she seemed ok with it I feel it could come back to haunt me though.....
I know about my ones who have seen and i never haunted them.......
Honesty is the golden key ;)
nicegirlsarenice
29-04-09, 18:39
I know about my ones who have seen and i never haunted them.......
Honesty is the golden key ;)
Yeah but Anna it's a bit different for you. ;)