Make up a storey using E-I members User names.

[Doll 34 DD]

Meanwhile back in the bar, I needed a fix… I remembered a Usernamed Richard who knew the realdeal… I wanted the best 69 Euros worth of shit, money could buy. I called him.. “Yeah, Ric, Hardgear is so rare these days..I lovethegirls to be relaxed, so I need a BigJ mymann…Iamnewtothis and want to stay Anon, can you deliver by Nyna clock?’ … Ric answered, “there is a Kerry lad in town that has Debest Wakka Tabackie in town, …his name is buck. He Muster be at home cos he is Notatwork right now. This guy is Mr Gear…relax and wait a while”..

I decided I Mayas well wait….even though I badly needed a Jay, goodtimes will come soon I thought. I fancied a Natural bbw with her legswideopen, none were available so instead being a hornymotherfucker I called Nikole. So I pretended I was an ex poster… she was in Mitchlestown, so I took the N73 all the way… Me being a very shy guy, I decided to arrive incognito. I drove in the dark… at least she had good English, Layla was playing on the radio…I wanted to Ryder doggie style this time… I was running late and needed to Ketchup… I had bought a bottle of Pinot Noir, her favourite wine… through the Forrest and Ber right, nearly there… I really needed to Banger…. In the light of the Luna Neuva I could see the Heather… not far to go now… The Newmoon lit up the countryside….

Then Ric called.. “where are ya dude?”…

“Im on thehighwayman” I answered…

“Fitzy has done a Royaler and has got some LaBelle. Thatcher would even smoke this stuff…This is Happy Gilmore shit.. get back to me now… " Ric said...

I decided to abandon the car and go cross country JohnRambo style. Even though it was a dark-knight I made it at a steady pace… for a cork punter I ripped through that bogman, like a madjack in a fiatpunter… At last I met Ric…

“Where’s The D man?” I asked impatiently...

Ahhhh… After a smoke I felt like BruceAlmighty… I felt like the Legend… but then I realised.. ThisUserNnameIsTaken

Bummer…

Yeah.. Im drunk…. Feck ye............. Nighty night...

After "having fun" u wake up with your "heavyhead" and still "horney" thinking of "boobies" and u said to Sam : If u "Does the Business" call Ciara I need some "owo please" ...Sam said are u "HORNEYMOTHERFUCHER" "HORSE" u need "applegreen" and "disco biscuit" not a "sexy lady" call your "class1driver" make your "asscleaner" and go "Ex[erienced Guy".......

[NewMoon]

‘Luna Neuva’ and ‘NewMoon’ were still fighting over who came up with the name first. ‘Stephanie’ came over to break up the fight and eventually had both parties shaking hands. ‘Amanda Babe’, said ‘Stephanie’, “why don’t you come over and meet ‘NewMoon’. Hey! Why don’t you come to the Escorts Christmas party? The thought of it made ‘NewMoon’ ‘randy’.
They arrive at the apartment to find the bikini party was in full swing. ‘NewMoon’ only had his doxers , ‘ManInPanties’ came to mind. A lot self confident he taught the Ladies would call him ‘lildick’ or ‘chubby’ but ‘Cindy Forever’ said ‘cumcumcum’ enjoy the party.
‘NewMoon’ new only a few Ladies, ‘Mature Abby’, ‘CurvaceousKate’, ‘Karla baby’, ‘Patty’ and ‘SamanthaAngleManchester’ but there were loads more.
For some ‘dirtyfuntime’ the ladies poured ‘Ketchup’ over ‘NewMoon and started to lick it off!
The licking at the start was ‘BlueHaven but as it got lower and lower got quite wrought, but he didn’t mind……Hey! ‘Bogman’. Hey you dick head wake up. You stupid drunk this is the ‘Milkman’ and you can’t sleep in this fuc’’ng doorway. And who owns that dog.

[ryder]

Six hours later they're all still at the bar and beginning to feel peckish. Hey 'barman'209 any chance of some 'wildturkey' sandwiches and a slice of that 'layercake' it looks 'chickenlicken' good, asked Amina .
More of that'mexicanmagic' for me said Lucy as she downed her 10th glass of Tequila.
I'll try another bottle of'Stella' said a 'Kilkennyguy' although 'I'mnewtothis' its given me a new 'Lisa' life.
Is that counter 'EbonyAmber' asked somebody . No its 'the real deal'

[ryder]

Feck it anyway lads my post got 'hung up' and only part of it appeared bear with me for part two.

[ryder]

Just the the waiter arrived with a large pot of tea and 'Patty' cakes . 'willyahaveacupanyway' asked 'Emmasweet' merciful Jazus look who just walked in . Ciara stood there lookin like a million dollars. Now there's a 'desirableencounter' if ever I saw one said Nikole. I'll be dug out of her said 'Sam Spade' Dream on loverboy said Ciara ,I'd suck you in and blow you out in 'bubbles '
On a different note ,Im looking for a new car said Rachel. A 'Mitsubishi' colt might suit me I'll keep my'eartotheground' said 'The Salesman' my friend 'theconman' always has good bargains. I've enough, I'm getting a taxi home said 'thesebootsnolongerwalk'.
Drink up boys shouted Saoirse , "I'm the new bouncer here and wont have you lot hanging around giving the place a bad name" With that she starts brandishing 'the equalizer' ,her trusty hurley stick.

[FuntimeswithU]

At that point Funtimeswithu & funcorkguy walked in, they were out together as it Doubled the fun. The hurley whooshed through the air and just Miss(ed) Alisha but she was quick to duck and it didn’t stop her Havingagoodtime. Moments later a Sexy Lady walked in with her Ted E Bear followed by C3PO who was looking a bit Fran Tick as he’d just escaped the perils of the Highwayman and Massivelad down on Abby road. C3PO was looking for the IrishRebel alliance to assist him on a mission to save the New Moon from anakin75 who was showing signs of turning to the darkside under the influence of Magicalman9357.

Meanwhile Mer & Ber the gruesome twosome were wondering why Very Shy Guy was acting like a CrazyGuy. Should they give him a Wakka or send him to DrPaul?....but Amy Alison said Wat Wat Wat? don’t mess with his Sweet Disposition. S0 they obeyed and remained Incognito admiring a Curvyirishlady who was looking like a Princesss.

[IamSimontemplar]

Just the the waiter arrived with a large pot of tea and 'Patty' cakes . 'willyahaveacupanyway' asked 'Emmasweet' merciful Jazus look who just walked in . Ciara stood there lookin like a million dollars. Now there's a 'desirableencounter' if ever I saw one said Nikole. I'll be dug out of her said 'Sam Spade' Dream on loverboy said Ciara ,I'd suck you in and blow you out in 'bubbles '
On a different note ,Im looking for a new car said Rachel. A 'Mitsubishi' colt might suit me I'll keep my'eartotheground' said 'The Salesman' my friend 'theconman' always has good bargains. I've enough, I'm getting a taxi home said 'thesebootsnolongerwalk'.
Drink up boys shouted Saoirse , "I'm the new bouncer here and wont have you lot hanging around giving the place a bad name" With that she starts brandishing 'the equalizer' ,her trusty hurley stick.

With a hurl made by a KerryGuy, a real KerryLadinTown, Saoirse shouts I'm Agneska nicely a PrivateFunction with AddStaff is awaiting so its AllGood if ye go or this hurl is AnpocarBuille.
So without due recourse it Ana time to go or .: Doc will be invading our space. But JamesCork wouldn't heed it 'cause Maya was seeing to it a 10inchandcounting, a cum shot he just couldn't hold ....(lol)....But Saoirse saw Redforever and with one swing of her cleaver left JamesCork..............

[wolrac]

I laughed my self sober at this thread. Definitely should have been the December comp..

[JAMESCORK]

With a hurl made by a KerryGuy, a real KerryLadinTown, Saoirse shouts I'm Agneska nicely a PrivateFunction with AddStaff is awaiting so its AllGood if ye go or this hurl is AnpocarBuille.
So without due recourse it Ana time to go or .: Doc will be invading our space. But JamesCork wouldn't heed it 'cause Maya was seeing to it a 10inchandcounting, a cum shot he just couldn't hold ....(lol)....But Saoirse saw Redforever and with one swing of her cleaver left JamesCork..............

...... … clueless to what he had done to deserve it. Amin all I did was to lickyourclit.. so why the hurley… I needed to get out of here, so I went Westside, to Galway to be exact. I fear Galway may be no better, but I fired up my Audi anyway and headed west… I could be a Galway_stud, why not, Im a bigfellow now, and I like to treat me weefella once in a while. I decided to visit Oksana. Driving through Clonmellors, I popped in my fav CD, La Toya Jackson… I was getting in the mood here and I really wanda make an impression.

I arrive at her place, and I am ushered into her Chambers. “You look like a real genltlemandave” she cooed… “Hey, the name’s not Dave… Iamsimontemplar” I replied. I didn’t want her to know my true identity, or that I really was an escortaddict. There was a wolrac next to the door, I hung my coat there. She was dressed in a kami lace top. Nice… She lay back on the bed, legswideopen… Me being a pussyman, I fiddled with her stephanie with my pinky.

Then I removed my clothing. “OMG”.. she exclaimed, “you’re a braveboy to show me that dirty little thing… that is scank man!”. “That’s my little secret Cyril” I replied.”I could have funtimeswithU with that” … “get out ya Dirty Harry ya” she shouted…

It wasn’t the dirty bit that got me, it was the little… Im no ninebythree, but Im certainly no lildick either. I left dejected, but still happy I at least got to see her Ste-fanny in all its glory. Back to the drawing board for me, I’ll click n pick another…

Ah well… another bumMer…..

[Disco Biscuit]

Enough said Goddess Shirley, Disco Biscuits cock smells of cheese ! like cheddar thats mature, Abby comes closer to smell it , uumm smells sweet,Rachel turns her nose up at it ....

That's libel! You are going to hear from my solicitor Sebastien.

Now where the hell is Mr. Fussy's number when you need him to bum Mellors up the orse