Now that I've gotten your attention, welcome to E-I news with LDM. Not that any of ya tools and langers deserve the effort that I put into these news reports but... Tonight: Samlad's long lost relatives discovered; useful financial security advice; and finally... Well that's it I'm afraid. My apologies, it would seem that ever since Tina's sacking, the entire newsroom has gone into a state of disarray. Nevertheless we shall push on. [Besides, despite the work I put into all this, I know that ye're all only here for the advertisements which pop up at the end of the broadcast anyway... I'm so unappreciated...]
Now... It would appear that New Guinea is somewhat of a lost world with more than 1,000 new species being discovered recently on the Malanesian island. WWF (World Wildlife Fund) have stated in a report that between the decade 1998-2008, there was a discovery rate of 2 new species per week, ranging from birds, mammals, amphibians etc. New Guinea has one of the most beautiful ecosystems in the world that has not been tampered with my filthy humans like us. And WWF believe they have only scratched the surface on the total biodiversity within New Guinea. 134 frog species approximately were discovered. One species was dubbed Litoria sauroni because its striking red and black spotted eyes reminded scientists of the evil character Sauron in the "Lord of the Rings" movies. Another new frog was notable because of its tiny size, just one centimetre in length, while one had vampire-like fangs. So Sammy... Looks like you're gonna be busy visiting all the new relatives for the next... 20 odd years so someone's gonna have to take over from you here. I nominate... No one cos I refuse to budge from my neutral standing of Master of Shenanigans. *coughs*. For more details about more species discovered, please click on the following link: Samlad has a big family for such a little froggy...
Now don't let any bollix around these parts tell you that I never give you lot some decent advice. Cos I do. Why? Cos I'm freakin' LDM and I'm freakin' awesome that's freakin' why you freakin' muppet... Well here's some sound financial advice that is sure to help secure your finances and save you a few cents so that you can go visit some of the b-e-a-utiful ladies we all know and adore. [God sake lads, couldn't ye find anything better than this shite for me to broadcast?? I mean, financial advice?? I'd have been better off going down to a beach and running around naked and chasing seagulls! Least that would've been somewhat entertaining!]
~ Never use the same PIN/password twice.
~ Don't write down passwords.
~ Shred anything with your address on it before throwing it away/recycling.
~ Make your own lunch.
~ Don't post details of holidays on social media.
~ Don't buy holiday money at the airport or use cash machines abroad.
For more intimate details regarding the above advice (cos I'm too tired to explain it all to ye lot and quite frankly my patience with these langers over here in the E-I newsroom is wearing thin...) please visit the following link: Benny & doc got secretly married...
That's all from me, hope all you perverted primates have an even more perverted evening filled with perverted things of a perverted... Whatever. Good evening to all and to all a good evening. This has been the awesome, magnificent, brilliant, wonderful, twat LDM for E-I news.
*off-air*: Guys wtf??? Who programmed the teleprompter to say I was a twat??? Once I find out who f*cked up, I'mma get my pitchfork, place it in a roaring hot fire, and jam it straight up whose ever ass it was who stuffed up!!!