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Thread: Reading The Signs

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Talking Reading The Signs

    The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize - and decode - these KEY "SIGNS." Figuring out these moronic little indicators can save you a lot of time and effort.

    1. Woman won't unlock car door for man - Doesn't engage in oral sex

    2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - No foreplay

    3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins

    4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - Is a virgin

    5. Can't hail a cab - Impotent

    6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote

    7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan

    8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho

    9. Wants to go to a French restaurant - Will swallow

    10. Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow

    11. Takes too long deciding what to order - Has trouble reaching orgasm

    12. Orders salad dressing on the side - Will give you a hand job, but will not go "all the way"

    13. Gives explicit orders to waiter - Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed

    14. Asks for extra rolls - Will say she is using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue

    15. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will have..." - Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't

    16. Asks for "The Usual" - Insists on missionary position only

    17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs

    18. Fills up on bread and crackers - Premature ejaculation

    19. Doesn't finish everything on plate - Has already come

    20. Insists on having some of whatever you ordered - Will make you sleep on the wet spot

    21. Changes mind after ordering - Will never call you

    22. Changes tables - Nymphomaniac

    23. Drinks Decaffeinated. - Fakes Orgasm (Female)

    24. Orders in French - Fakes Orgasm (Male)

    25. Sends food back - Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money

    26. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - Needs you to talk dirty during sex

    27. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - Wants a handjob

    28. Orders a dessert involving nuts - Castrating Bitch

    29. Wants to split dessert - Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters

    30. Credit card is refused - Low sperm count

    31. Under tips waiter - Small penis

    32. Under tips parking valet - Small penis

    33. Under tips cabby - Small penis

    34. Uses toothpick - Is trying to tell you size isn't everything

    35. Removable cassette player in car - Pulls out repeatedly during sex

    36. Cellular phone in car - Penile implant

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 69patrick69 For This Useful Post:

    Forrest (25-06-11), steady (26-06-11), very shy guy (26-06-11)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Blog Entries


    I could have done with a few of those tips when I was younger, it might have saved a lot of trouble.

    Engaging Personality
    Mesmerising Eyes
    Magnificent Ass
    Adorable Lady
    Sexy, Wicked, Enticing, Erotic, Tease

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Forrest For This Useful Post:

    69patrick69 (25-06-11)

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