E-I News

[ladiesman217]

And welcome back to E-I news after a short respite. Let me be the first to apologise for the atrocity that was contained within the previous E-I news programme. Tina hacked into the news database and falsely broadcasted links to certain news articles. For those of you who do not know, Tina is my work colleague who absolutely hates me guts for reasons unknown to even God (well I did shag here one night without calling her the next morning but, surely that's not it?).

Now, our main news tonight: Ireland's roads 6th safest in the European Union; Irish income 3rd highest in the European Union; and finally tonight, video evidence of utter terror and trauma in Benny's household!!!

Ireland's roads have been declared the 6th safest in the EU, according to a new survey. Within the decade of 2001-2010 road fatalities in Ireland fell by 48%, just short of the EU target of 50%. Only 8 member states achieved this target, including Sweden, UK, Malta, Netherlands and Germany, all of which are above Ireland in terms of safety. Ireland was however below average when it came to reducing cyclist deaths. The European Transport Council has set a new target of a further 50% reduction in road deaths by 2020. Now... I dunno about you, but I hate cyclists when I'm driving! Especially when you're on a tiny narrow winding road that struggles to fit 2 cars side by side! *cough* I am somewhat flabbergasted (hope I spelled that right) that we've done so well in every other aspect of road safety. In my experience, at least 15-25% of road users can't even navigate around a roundabout correctly!!! It ain't rocket science people!!!!! For further information on roundabouts, see one of my old threads.



Irish households are joint 3rd among the EU member states in terms of income per household. Ironically Ireland is also among the highest of EU states with the highest prices, not that that wasn't known to us already! *cough* Ireland has suffered by far the largest decline in average income of any EU member in recent years. Another thing we already knew... Pardon me a minute folks..... [guys wtf are you giving me so-called news that every God damned mofo in the country knows and has done for the last heaven knows how many years????? cop on ya tools!!!] *cough* Well nothing more to say on that matter. Moving on...



The following footage is petrifying and frightening for those of you with feline ancestry. For those of you felines brave (stupid enough) to click on the following link, please, do not try this at home. Benny's Family Vault-Part 1. Many thanks to our undercover reporter (Peeping Tom) for capturing this footage on film.


Once again, let me apologise for the atrocities that transpired during the last E-I news. Tina has since been fired and we are currently looking for a new anchor. The ideal candidate should have large natural breasts, be extremely sexy, have great charisma and above all else be good at f*cking [Only females need apply, but due to sexual discrimination issues we cannot openly advertise female only. All males who apply will be unsuccessful]. This has been LDM for E-I news.




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