Cleavage is a wonderful thing, no matter where, how, or why. Hey, if you got it flaunt it. So, we’re gonna! Although we need no reason to show it off, we’re giving you the nine most common types of cleavage, plus an extra one that’s totes controversial.
Side Boob: Visible thanks to large arm holes, no shirt, or string bikinis. The side boob is a rare, celebrated form of cleave. It takes a skinny bitch with big knockers and a bad attitude to pull it off.
Classic Cleave: A low-cut top + a push-up bra = magically hypnotizing boobage. Feast your eyes on those bad boys! But be careful not to wave them in front of a baby or they’ll take the feast part of that expression literally …
Toe Cleave: A sexy pair of shoes can turn your dogs into a total do.
Under-Boob: The underdog of cleavage, it bares the seldom seen bottom half of your usual rack. This cleave is more about bralessness than creating a valley of knockers. Under-boob was first brought into the light by ‘80s crops tops. Ah, those were the days! Or were they?
Back Titties: The lady version of love handles. If you’re like me, then either your tight bra, your age, or your genetic makeup has given you boobs in the front and in the back. So, you’ve got two times the cleavage—bonus!
Padded Bra Cleave: Thanks to science, we can have all kinds of things we weren’t born with, including cleavage created by gel inserts. This boob show follows the immortal words of Axl Rose, and rock it!
Puddle O’Boob: Like muffin top and back bobbies, this titillation comes from ill-fitting clothing. It’s the cleavage that is merely over-spillage caused by a too-tight bra. Her cup runneth over, hence she has a bit o’ boob popping.
Booty Cleave: The other lovely lady lumps—but, heck, even men have got this kind of cleave. Low-rise jeans have given rise to the cheekiest form of cleavage.
Situational Cleave: In some cases, cleavage can be formed and maximized by position. Folding your arms, lying on one side, leaning forward, shrugging your shoulders, grabbing ‘em in both hands, these moves are are all tricks of the titty trade.
Elbow Cleave: Yeah, I wasn’t sure if this one actually existed. But my guy friend assured me, “If it bends, I can screw it.” Oy. What do you think: Does a little elbow action count as cleavage?