Evening all. Hope your days' have been filled with adventure and good fortune. Welcome to tonight's edition of E-I news, with me LDM and my arch nemesis field reporter, Tina. Say hi Tina. *silence...* Ahem... Tonight's headlines: bear takes dip in jacuzzi; underwear controversy for Doncaster Rovers; and finally, a train break-out in the UK.
First this evening, a Florida woman discovered a giant black bear taking an early morning dip in her jacuzzi in her home in Seminole County. The bear (Ursus americanus) for any biologists among us, apparently tore a hole in the mosquito-screen that is used to protect the jacuzzi and gained access for a nice relaxing time. The bear's relaxation was short-lived however as the woman, Jenny Rhoades, attempted to shoo the mammal away. Speaking about this unique event, Ms.Rhoades said: "It was beautiful, it looked really healthy. The poor guy was just hot and thirsty, it was 90F (32°C) out there". Hmm... I hope by hot she means feeling a bit warm, not actually finding the bear attractive... That would be, well rather awkward. The black bear is North America's smallest species of bear, commonly rummaging through human settlements for food. Though omnivorous, there have been attacks on humans however this is thought to be due to mainly hunger more so than territorial. Well you can barely blame the guy can you? (get it, barely blame the bear? ok I'll just move on...).
Next tonight, a woman who works as a mascot for the Doncaster Rovers football club (ya I've never heard of them either, so they must be awesome... *cough*) has been reinstated after being dismissed after she posed in her underwear. 'Tracy Chandler appeared in the risqué shoot in the Sunday Sport with the mascot's dog head, Donny the Dog, and Doncaster then decided to sack her by saying she had "disgraced the club". It was revealed that this shoot was for the NSPCC, and after a stream of negative comments hurled at Doncaster Rovers, Ms.Chandler was reinstated. For the record, Ms.Chandler does this on a voluntary basis and has been for three years. She has also raised a lot of money for charity. Ok, two things: 1) Surely I am not the only one to be somewhat gobsmacked to find the name Chandler exist outside of the TV show Friends, and 2) I am sure those toss-pots at Doncaster Rovers are scarpering home with their tails between their legs... No wonder they're so good *cough*.
Finally tonight, we've all heard of prison breakouts and hospital breakouts. But here's one you may not of heard before. A train breakout. A heavily pregnant woman has been accused of trespass by police when she broke out of a South West Trains train in the UK. Emma Firth, who is eight months pregnant, joined a group of passengers in an impromptu evacuation from the train stranded outside Woking station in Surrey four hours into what should have been a 20 minute journey. They were apparently told by rail operators, before their impromptu breakout, that there was not enough staff to supervise an evacuation of the train. Seems all a bit loco to me folks. Hmm... For full details on this, please visit the following link: http://uk.travel.yahoo.com/p-promo-3361308
I, on behalf of those of us here at E-I news, would like to extend our warmest sympathies to the family and friends of the late Brian Lenihan, who died today after losing a battle with pancreatic cancer. Rest in peace.
This has been LDM for E-I news. May your nights be filled with fun and frolics of a sexual kind. Good evening.
Benny GTFO outta my news show ya tool!!!